Joyce: You wanna go to school?
Buffy: Sure! Why not?
Joyce: Okay... Good day to buy that lottery ticket.
Willow: My parents don't even bicker. Sometimes they glare.
Cordelia: Hello? Doofus! You're in my light.
Xander: Wendall, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe, and the rest of us merely revolve around her?
Cordelia: Why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light?
Willow: Why is she so Evita-like?
Buffy: I think it's the hair.
Willow: It weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex.
Ms. Tishler: Isaacson's research led him to conclude that one of our most fundamental needs after food and shelter is to be heard.
Master: Fear is a wonderful thing. It is the most powerful force in the human world. Not love, not hate... Fear! When you were a mortal boy, what did you fear?
Master: Ooo. We are defined by the things we fear. This symbol, these two planks of wood, it confounds me. Suffuses me with mortal dread. But fear is in the mind. Like pain. It can be controlled. If I can face my fear, it cannot master me.
Xander: Oh, the spiders! Willow's been kind of, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Insane about what happened yesterday.
Willow: I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you: for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How do they not ruffle you?
Xander: I'm sorry! I'm unruffled by spiders. Now, if a bunch of Nazis crawled all over my face...
Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party.
Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me.
Xander: You da man, Buff!
Wendell: They're not insects. They're arachnids.
Xander: They're from the Middle East?
Wendall: Spiders are arachnids. They have eight legs. Insects only have six. Why does everyone make that mistake?
Buffy: Don't know.
Willow: What do you mean, you love spiders?
Xander: It is platonic, right?
Buffy: I haven't been to class, I haven't read any of the assignments, how am I going to pass this test?
Cordelia: Blind luck?
Buffy: Well, at least I know my name.
Billy: You shouldn't go in there.
Ugly Man: Lucky nineteen!
Mother: Oh, there's my little baby!
Punk: Mom, what are you doing here? Mom...
Mother: How's my little pookie?
Punk: Mom, mom, please don't kiss me in front of the guys! It's embarassing, mom! Please!
Mother: You cute little rascal, you!
Punk: Mom... Thanks, but mom, please, my friends are right here...
Willow: Xander! What happened to your... ?!
Xander: I-I-I dunno! I was , uh, dressed a minute ago! It's a dream. It's gotta be a dream... Ow! Wake up... Ow! Gotta wake up. Aaahhh!!!
Giles: I-I can't read!
Buffy: What do you mean? You can read, like, three languages.
Giles: Five, actually, on a normal day.
Buffy: What, am I knowledge girl now? Explanations are your terrain.
Hank: Having you. Raising you. Seeing you everyday. I mean, do you have any idea what that's like?
Hank: Gosh, you don't even see what's right in front of your face, do you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think about is yourself. You get in trouble. You embarrass us with all the crazy stunts you pull, and do I have to go on?
Buffy: No. Please don't.
Hank: You're sullen and... rude and... you're not nearly as bright as I thought you wre going to be... Hey, Buffy, let's be honest. Could you stand to live in the same house with a daughter like that?
Buffy: Why are you saying all these things?
Hank: Because they're true.
Hank: I sure thought you'd turn out differently.
Willow: Xander kinda found himself in front of our class not wearing much of anything.
Xander: Except my underwear.
Willow: Yeah! It was really... bad. It was a bad thing.
Xander: 'Bad thing'? I was naked. 'Bad thing' doesn't cover it.
Willow: Everyone staring? I would hate to have everyone paying attention to me like that.
Xander: With nudity! It's a total nightmare.
Xander: Uh, our dreams are coming true?
Giles: Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares, our, our nightmares are coming true.
Xander: It's Billy!... Who's Billy?
Giles: He's a boy in the local hospital. He was beaten. He's in a coma. Somehow I think he's crossed over from the nightmare world he's trapped in.
Xander: And he brought the nightmare wold with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy.
Giles: Buffy doesn't know this is happening. And given the sort of thing that she tends to dream about, it's imperative that we find her.
Xander: Probably faster if we split up to look for her.
Giles: Good idea.
Willow: Oh, uh, faster, but... not really safer.
Cordelia: No! What are you doing! Hey, no! You don't understand! I don't wanna go! I'm not even on the chess team! I swear, I'm not!
Willow: I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not.
Xander: Alright!... Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness.
Willow: But I... I didn't learn the words!
Xander: I love these bars! A Chocolate Hurricane! These are the best! I haven't had on of these since my... sixth... birthday... Aaahhh!!!
Master: Nobody died. What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?
Master: So! This is the Slayer! You're prettier than the last one.
Buffy: This is a dream.
Master: A dream is a wish your heart makes... This is real life... Come on, Slayer! What are you afraid of?
Buffy: No! Help me!
Master: How 'bout being buried alive?
Willow: I had to sing! Very bad to sing!
Xander: Remember my sixth birthday party?
Willow: Oh, yeah! When the clown chased you and you got so scared that you had... Oh!
Xander: You were a lousy clown! Your balloon animals are pathetic. Everyone can make a giraffe!
Giles: I've failed... in my duty to protect you. I should have been more c... cautious. Taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. And the evil was so great. I'm sorry...
Giles: You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire.
Buffy: No more hiding.
Billy: I had the strangest dream. And you were in it, and you... Who are you people?
Buffy: I just can't believe a kiddie league coach would do something like that.
Xander: Well, you obviously haven't played kiddie league. I'm surpried it wasn't one of the parents.
Willow: Personal question?
Xander: Yeah, shoot.
Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?
Xander: Willow, how can you... I mean, that's really bent! She was... grotesque.
Willow: Still dug her, huh?
Xander: I'm sick, I need help.
Willow: Don't I know it.