The Pack
Tor: Do you ever wonder why nobody cool wants to hang out with you?
Buffy: Just thankful.
Xander: We just saw the zebras mating! Thank you, very exciting...
Willow: It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!
Buffy: And I missed it. Yet somehow I'll find the courage to live on.
Buffy: I was looking at the fishes.
Willow: Was it cool?
Buffy: It was fishes.
Flutie: What're you doing?
Kyle: Nothing.
Flutie: Did I ask you to speak? Okay, I guess I did, but I want the truth.
Willow: What are Kyle and his buds doing with Lance?
Xander: Oh, playing with him as a cat plays with a mouse.
Buffy: What is it with those guys?
Willow: They're obnoxious. Professionally.
Xander: Well, every school has em. So, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.
Xander: Why don't you pick on somebody your own species?
Buffy: I didn't notice anything. But then again. I'm not as hyperaware of him as, oh, say, for example, you.
Willow: Hyperaware?
Buffy: Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure...
Willow: 130 over 80!
Buffy: You've got it bad, girl!
Willow: He makes my head go tingly. You know what I mean?
Buffy: I dimly recall.
Willow: Come on, Angel pushes your buttons. You know he does.
Buffy: I suppose some girls might find him good looking... if they have eyes, alright, he's a honey, but... it's just he's never around, and when he is all he wants to do is talk about vampires, and... I,I just can't have a relationship...
Xander: Girls!
Buffy: Boy!
Willow: Is something wrong? Did I do something?
Xander: What could you possibly do? That's crazy talk. I'm just... restless.
Xander: You took a bath.
Buffy: Yeah, I often do. I'm actually known for it.
Xander: That's okay.
Buffy: And the weird behavior award goes to...
Buffy: He's so cute!
Flutie: He's not cute. No! He's a fierce Razorback!
Buffy: He doesn't look mean, Mr. Flutie.
Flutie: He's mean, he's ready for action! See? Here are the tusks... the scary Razorback!
Buffy: You're right. He's a fine mascot and will engender school spirit.
Xander: Why do I need to learn this?
Willow: Cause otherwise you'll flunk math?
Xander: Explain the part where that's bad.
Willow: You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this.
Flutie: See, the problem is you kids today have no school spirit. Hold on, let me get his outfit off... Today's it's all gangs and drugs and those movies on Showtime with the nudity... I don't have cable, I only heard. When I was your age we cared about the school's reputation and the football team's record, all that stuff! Of course, when I was your age I was surrounded by old guys telling me how much better things were when they were my age.
Coach Harrold: God, this game is brutal. I love it!
Xander: Let's do lunch.
Willow: C'mon. He's not picking on you. He's just sniffing you a lot. I don't know, maybe three isn't company anymore.
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it.
Giles: It's devasting. He's turned into a sixteen year old boy. Course you'll have to kill him.
Giles: Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons. He will, however, get over it.
Buffy: What did you just say?
Giles: Um, they tease.
Buffy: They prey on the weak. I've heard that somewhere bef... Xander has been acting totally wiggy ever since we went to the zoo. Him and Kyle and all those guys, they went into the hyena cage. Oh, God, that laugh...
Giles: You're saying that, uh, Xander's becoming a hyena.
Buffy: Testosterone, huh?
Rhonda: How is Herbert?
Heidi: Crunchy!
Buffy: Wow! Apparently Noah rejected the hyenas form the Ark because he thought they were an evil impure mixture of dogs and cats.
Willow: Hyenas aren't well liked.
Buffy: They do seem to be the schmoes of the animal kingdom.
Willow: Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or, or some ducks?
Buffy: Xander. This is ridiculous. We need to talk.
Xander: Been waiting for you to jump my bones.
Buffy: Get off of me.
Xander: Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't cha? You like your men dangerous.
Xander: Do you know how long... I've waited... until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted... Until Willow... stops kidding herself... that I could settle with anyone but you?
Buffy: Look, Xander, I don't wanna hurt you...
Xander: Now do you want to hurt me? Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared. The more I scare you, the better you smell.
Flutie: Are you insane?!
Willow: Oh, my God, Xander! What happened?
Buffy: I hit him.
Willow: With what?
Buffy: A desk. He tried his hand at felony sexual assault.
Buffy: It's safe to say that in his animal state, his idea of wooing doesn't involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of Chianti.
Buffy: They didn't hurt him, did they?
Giles: They, uh... ate him.
Buffy: They ate Principal Flutie?
Willow: Ate him up?
Giles: The, uh, official theory is that wild dogs got into his office somehow.
Willow: How are you feeling?
Xander: Like somebody hit me with a desk.
Willow: That's not fair. Buffy saved both our lives.
Xander: Before she came here our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?
Zookeeper: The students have been possessed by the hyenas?
Giles: Yes.
Zookeeper: Are you sure?
Buffy: We're really, really sure.
Giles: Well, individually they're almost as strong as you. As a group they're...
Buffy: They're tough, but I think they're getting stupider.
Mr. Anderson: I didn't say she looks better than you, I said she looks better.
Mrs. Anderson: I heard what I heard.
Buffy: C'mon. You know what you want.
Giles: The, uh, sacred circle. Yes, you'd need that to, um... This would be here when... when the children first came. Why would you... How terribly frustrating for you, that a bunch of school chidren could accomplish what you could not.
Zookeeper: It bothered me. But the power will be mine.
Willow: Where's Giles?
Zookeeper: He's... laying in wait.
Giles: Uh, did I miss anything?
Buffy: It shouldn't be too hard to find a new principal. Unless they ask what happened to the last one.
Buffy: This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes.
Xander: I didn't do anything else, did I, around you guys or anything embarrassing?
Buffy: Nah!
Giles: I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.
Xander: Did you tell them that?
Giles: Your secret dies with me.
Xander: Shoot me. Stuff me. Mount me.