I Robot, You Jane

Buffy: Oh, great! A book!

Giles: Uh, when I've examined it, you can, uh, uh, skim it.
Jenny: Scan it, Rupert. That's scan it.
Giles: Of course.
Jenny: Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!

Fritz: The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive.
Jenny: Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people.

Jenny: You know, for the last two years more e-mail was sent than regular mail.
Giles: Oh...
Jenny: More digitized information went across phone lines than conversation.
Giles: That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.

Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.
Jenny: Did you ever leave?

Moloch: Where am I?

Buffy: Okay, that's it, you have a secret, and that's not allowed.
Willow: Why not?
Buffy: Cause... there's a rule.

Buffy: You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away!

Buffy: So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?
Willow: I met him online.
Buffy: Online for what?

Buffy: Short, tall, skinny, fat?
Willow: Why does everything have to be about looks?
Buffy: Not everything, but some stuff is. I mean, what if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out that he... has... a hairy back?
Willow: Well, no! Uh, he doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back.

Boy: This isn't my report! 'Nazi Germany was a model of a well ordered society'? I didn't write that! Who's been in my files?

Xander: Hup, guess who?
Willow: Uh, Xander?
Xander: Yeah, but keep guessing anyway.

Buffy: She certainly looks perky.
Xander: Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step... I don't like it. It's not healthy.

Xander: I mean, sure he says he's a high school student, but I can say I'm a high school student.
Buffy: You are.

Xander: Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?
Buffy: I get your point!... I get your point. Oh, this guy could be anybody. He could be weird, or crazy, or old, or... He could be a circus freak. He's probably a circus freak!
Xander: Yeah. I mean, we read about it all the time. Y'know, people meet on the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show, horrible axe murder.
Buffy: Willow, axe murdered by a circus freak... Okay, okay, what do we do?... What are we doing? Xander, you get me started! We are totally overreacting!
Xander: But it's fun, isn't it?

Buffy: I just want you to be sure. To meet him face to face. In daylight, in a crowded place with some friends. Y'know before you become all... obsessive.

Willow: Malcolm said you wouldn't understand.
Buffy: Malcolm was right.

Buffy: Well, you're a computer geek... genius, and, uh, I sort of have a technical problem.

Buffy: Wow! I had knowledge!

Buffy: I'm telling you, something is going on. It's not just Willow. Dave, Fritz, they're all wicked jumpy.
Giles: Those boys aren't sparkling normal as it is.

Giles: I-I-I really don't know how to advise you. Things involved with a computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such I'd be more in my element.

Xander: What, I can't have information sometimes?
Giles: Well, it-it's just somewhat unprecedented.

Buffy: I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling.
Giles: Your... spider sense?
Buffy: Pop culture reference. Sorry.

Jenny: You're here again? You kids really dig the library, don't cha?
Buffy: We're literary.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.
Buffy: We'll be going now.

Buffy: Make our speaking English is good?
Xander: I panicked, okay?

Giles: Well, it's been so nice talking to you.
Jenny: We were fighting.
Giles: Must do it again sometime, yes... Bye, now.

Buffy: Will? You taking a shower?... I guess not... This is how droughts get started.

Moloch: I've shown you a new world, Dave. Knowledge, power... I can give you everything. All I want is your love.

Buffy: Tell me the truth: how's my hair?
Xander: Its great! Its your best hair ever!
Giles: Uh, oh, yes.

Giles: Does this look familiar to either of you?
Buffy: Yeah, sure. Looks like a book.
Xander: I knew that one.

Buffy: And Moloch is inside that book?
Giles: Not anymore.
Xander: You released Moloch?
Buffy: Way to go!

Buffy: Okay, so a powerful demon with horns is walking around Sunnydale, and nobody's noticed?

Buffy: He's gone binary on us.

Buffy: Well, it looks like suicide.
Xander: With a little help from my friends?

Giles: I need you to believe something that, um, you may not want to. Uh, there's, uh... something's got into the, um... i-i-inside, um... There's a demon in the Internet.
Jenny: I know.

Jenny: You think the realm of the mystical is limited to ancient texts and relics? The bad old science made the magic go away? Mm. The divine exists in cyberspace same as out here.
Giles: Are you a witch?
Jenny: Mm. I don't have that kinda power. Technopagan is the term... There are more of us than you think.

Buffy: Here's a tip: hurry!

Jenny: The first thing we have to do is form the circle of Kayless. Right?
Giles: Form a circle? But there's only two of us. That's really more of a line.

Moloch: Don't you see? I can give you everything! I can control the world! Right now a man in Beijing is transferring money to a Swiss bank account for a contract on his mother's life. Good for him!

Giles: Couldn't you just stop Moloch by, by entering some computer virus?
Jenny: You've seen way too many movies.

Giles: By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you... Kayless, with a 'K'.

Buffy: Ow... Guy's made of metal!

Xander: Hey! I got to hit someone!

Jenny: Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?
Giles: The smell.
Jenny: Computer's don't smell, Rupert.
Giles: I know! Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a, a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences... long forgotten. Books smell. Musty and, and, and, and rich. the knowledge gained from a computer, is, uh, it... it has no, no texture, no, no context. It's, it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um... smelly.
Jenny: Well! You really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you?
Giles: Well, I - I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.
Jenny: That's not where I dangle it.

Willow: Malcolm, Moloch... whatever's he's called. The only boy that's really liked me, and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?
Buffy: It doesn't say anything about you.
Willow: I mean, I thought I was really falling...
Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I'm moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant preying mantis?
Willow: That's true.
Xander: Yeah, that's life on the Hellmouth.
Buffy: Let's face it: none of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We're doomed!
**Everybody laughs then goes quiet contemplating this reality**

Episode Guide: I Robot, You Jane

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- - last updated: 5-21-03 - -