Wesley: "Angel Investigations without the angel. - You think we can do it?"
Gunn: "I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really."
Angel: "Is there a reason you're here?"
Host: "There is. What's today? Thursday? Tomorrow night - the world's going to end. I thought you might want to know."
Angel: "Can you get to the point already?"
Host: "Yes, I can, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, Mr. Get-to-the-point-y-pants."
Gene: "So how is it that altering one particle of an entangled pair causes the other particle to be affected - without any communication between the two."
Val: "Because space and time are one."
Gene: "So how do you seperate an entwined pair? You don't. You can't. In fact you probably shouldn't even try."
Val: "I never do."
Val: "Look, I like the theory of freezing time as much as the next Star Trek nerd..."
Angel: "Oh, you know, he's a demon. You better do what he says or he might - talk your ears off."
Demon: "He's the one. He doesn't know it yet, but he's the one. From nothingness the human pestilence came, into nothingness it goes."
Cordelia: "There. See? We'll work without the harsh glare of florescents, or all that distracting computer information."
Gunn: "Cordelia - stop trying."
Wesley: "Join us... Sometimes you need to wallow. Just let the depression settle in - silently."
Virginia: "Hey! Wow. This place is great. I brought champagne. You guys must be so excited... in that really dry, suicidal way."
Virginia: "You guys are really down."
Gunn: "Yeah. And don't tell us there is no way to go but up, because the truth is - there is always more down."
Virginia: "Really rich family. They invented, uhm, I don't know, like - chairs, or something."
Cordelia: "We'll do it! We'll do anything."
Virginia: "Oh, that's so sad."
Gene: "I did it. - Oh, this is a yee-ha moment. I - I definitely think this is a yee-ha moment!... Yee-ha-ha!"
Angel: "Where did you learn how to drive?"
Host: "Just now in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?"
Angel: "What? You nearly got us killed - four times."
Host: "I better stick to the shadows and think of something to say should we happen upon a comely co-ed."
Angel: "Tell her you're the new school mascot."
Angel: "Student yearbook/faculty publications going back past five years. Lets see if we can't find your little madman bent on destroying the universe."
Host: "I like to think of him as our little madman. That's just me, team player, you know?"
Val: "What are you gonna do? Oh, my god. You're gonna give him the sympathy bone, aren't you? It's gonna be dinner, sympathy bone, and adios Gene. I'm totally right, aren't I?"
Denise: "Well, we've been together for a year. I can't just - walk out on him! It just wouldn't be right. Not after all we've..."
Val: "No, you're right. The post-symphathy-bone-walk-out is you're only escape hatch now."
Guy: "What is that?"
Angel: "Don't worry. School mascot."
Angel: "What did you say to it?"
Host: "I said we come in peace. I don't think he believed me."
Angel: "And what did he say to me?"
Host: "He said 'you shall not stop the golden child, the one for whom we have waited.' Lubber demons, they have a way with words."
Angel: "What's a Lubber demon?"
Host: "Fanatical sect, awaiting a messiah who will usher in the end of all human life. A lot of your demons don't yak about it in mixed company, but it is a pretty popular theology in the underworld."
Mike: "What's that?"
Angel: "Don't worry. It's just the new school mascot."
Mike: "For the Buccaneers?"
Host: "Not your school, silly."
Host: "So there is another gear after that number two thingy?... Oh, relax. I'll pay for a tune-up. Unless the world ends, then I'm off the hook."
Angel: "Well, if it saves you some money, then I guess it's a good thing."
Host: "Oh, this whole sour pussy mode of yours, it's starting to grate. You know what your problem is? - Are you listening?"
Angel "Do I have a choice?"
Host: "Your heart isn't in it anymore."
Angel: "I don't have a pulse so technically I don't have a heart."
Host: "Technically, someone puts a stake through it you don't have anything anymore. So, Bubba, your heart counts."
Angel: "You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash! I never can! Never going to be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me, it's too much! Two hundred highly intelligent law-school graduates working fulltime driving me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's 'Angel, why are you so cranky?''Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid'."
Host: "Oh. Not this season, honey."
Angel: "Redemption. Darla had a shot at redemption. They took it from her. Now I have to hunt her down and kill her. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground. My crew - they couldn't handle that. That's good. It means they're still human. It means their better off fired."
Host: "You kind of left them in the cold."
Angel: "It's a lot colder in here."
Wesley: "Only one person was responsible for the death of Derek Bointon - his own sweet, doting Aunt Helen!"
* gasp!! *
Cordelia: "Not so fast, sister."
Gunn: "That was cool."
Wesley: "It wasn't difficult. You just - have to keep shifting the evidence until the truth finally hits you."
Angel: "Well, you know - love... it's a fire."
Gene: "You been there."
Angel: "It burns you. - Alive. Down to the bone. And then it turns the bone to ash..."
Host: "I-I think what my chipper friend is trying to say here, Gene, is the wheel keeps turning. You can't stop it. Sometimes things get worse, sometimes they get better."
Man: "Which one of you is Angel?"
Wesley: "It's just a name."