Through the Looking Glass
Wesley: "Cordelia?"
Gunn: "No way!"
Angel: "You're - safe."
Cordelia: "Little bit. They made me their ruler."
Cordelia: "Okay. - Off with their heads!... Just kidding."
Cordelia: "You're gonna make me use my 'important voice' aren't you? - Leave us!"
Angel: "What happened?"
Cordelia: "What's it look like? They jabbed me with hot pokers for a while and then... made me a princess."
Gunn: "She's the messiah?"
Cordelia: "It could happen."
Cordelia: "In kind of a hurry to get back to the 'Cordelia is not a princess' dimension, aren't you?"
Cordelia: "He's reflecting!"
Wesley: "Yes the metaphysical laws which govern our world don't seem to apply here."
Gunn: "He can walk in the sun, too."
* Angel looking at himself and playing with his hair *
Angel: "Okay - this is because of going through the portal, right?"
Cordelia: "No. It always looks like that."
Angel: "No, I mean why didn't anybody tell me about this? Look it's..."
* plays with his hair again *
Cordelia: "Uh. You look good."
Angel: "You're not just saying that, are you?"
Lorne: "Whoa, whoa, back up, back up. You want me to talk to my family? On purpose?!!"
Lorne: "Boy. I'd give my left horn to not have to do this."
Lorne: "Thanks, mom."
Angel: "Mom?"
Mom: "Each morning before I feed I go out into the hills where the ground is thorny and parched, beat my breast and curse the loins that gave birth to such a cretinous boy-child!"
Lorne: "My mother."
Mom: "Your father was right. We ate the wrong son."
Lorne: "Well, enough of this sentimental reminiscing. Just a couple of quick questions, then I'll skeddadle. You remember back around five years ago when I first disappeared - did you notice anything - odd?"
Mom: "We noticed feasting and celebratins. Your brother Numfar did the dance of joy for three moons. Numfar! Do the dance of joy."
Lorne: "You remember when I said we didn't have music in my world? Wish I could say the same about the dancing."
Mom: "No longer do the dance of joy, Numfar!"
Mom: "You know Krevlorneswath's cow?"
Landok: "He's Angel! The brave and noble drokken killer."
Angel: "Just Angel is really..."
Landok: "He is as valiant and courageous a warrior as I have ever known."
Mom: "Then he shall be welcome in our home and we shall will him. Numfar! Do the dance of honor."
Wesley: "Fascinating. A hart."
Cordelia: "It's not a heart, it's a bambi. And we expect him to read this teeny tiny print?"
Wesley: "No, not h-e-a-r-t, h-a-r-t. A male red deer or staggard. Often associated with rural mysticism."
Cordelia: "There is stuff about messiah me?"
Wesley: "Com-shuk."
Cordelia: "Huh?"
Wesley: "Contextually a - a verb."
Cordelia: "Something I'm going to do?"
Wesley: "With a 'groosalug'."
Cordelia: "What does that mean?"
Wesley: "I have no idea."
Gunn: "Sounds dirty if you ask me."
Cordelia: "Nobody did."
Gunn: "Wolf - ram..."
Wesley: "And hart. - I'm not sure the priests can be trusted."
Lorne: "Well, you're just a regular Hans Christian Tarantino, aren't you?"
Cordelia: "Look, you wanna go, go! But I have to stay here and - be a princess."
Wesley: "And com-shuk with a groosalug?"
Cordelia: "Better than shoveling demon horse poo!"
Silas: "Clearly her majesty has seen the groosalug because it has been summoned from the scum pits of Ur..."
Cordelia: "Scum pits?"
Silas: "...and will arrive before night fall."
Cordelia: "So that's really close scum pits then."
Silas: "Everybody is very anxious for her majesty to com-shuk with the groosalug."
Cordelia: "Of course! Why wouldn't they be? Now these two? They didn't even know what the com-shuk was. - You tell them!"
Silas: "The com-shuk is a mating ritual."
Gunn: "I told you it was dirty."
Cordelia: "Yes. Exactly. The mating ritual - which is - great? It's been a really long time since I've had - a good com-shuk."
Cordelia: "Let's get the hell out of here."
Angel: "Okay. We're gonna back up nice and slow and these nice folks are..."
Mom: "Stop them!"
Angel: "...are gonna kill us!"
Cordelia: "If you ever find a way to get us out of here, I want you to find me a dimension where some demon doens't want to impregnate me with its spawn! Is that just too much to ask? What is it about me anyway? Do I put out some kind of come 'shuk' me vibe? I mean, you'd tell me, right?"
Angel: "You okay?"
Fred: "Handsome man - saved me from the monsters... Bye."
Angel: "Hey. Wait a minute."
Angel: "So, you don't wanna talk to me?"
Fred: "I can't, huh?"
Angel: "Why won't you?"
Fred: "Because - you're not real. - Or I'm not real. Somebody here isn't real and I suppect it's you. So if you're not real, that means that my head came off back there and that I'm dead now. Dead. And with me being dead and you not being real I can hardly be expected to have some big conversation with you at the moment, because it's just a little too much pressure, alright?!"
Fred: "That other girl. I couldn't save her. I was arrested. They got her. She's a slave. She'll die!"
Angel: "Oh. Cordy. No, she's fine. They made her a princess."
Fred: "They... Really? - Oh... When I got here they... They didn't do that. - Well. That's nice for her."
Cordelia: "You're sure this is a good first date look? I don't want to seem too easy. I was thinking something more in a nice tailored suit - of armor."
Silas: "The groosalug."
Cordelia: "Say, don't you think it would add an air of feminine mystery if I were to, you know, not be here?"
* a bulky horned demon shuffles in *
Cordelia: "Kill me now."
* a handsome warrior follows the beast. He claps the beast on the shoulder *
Groo: "Just put those anywhere... Majesty."
Cordelia: "Oh."
Fred: "Bad things always happen here."
Cordelia: "Well... huh?"
Groo: "As I matured these - defects became more apparent. The Covenant soon determined there could be no mistake. There was cow's blood in my veins."
Cordelia: "So? Heck, I'm all cow! Err, human."
Groo: "For my people to be part cow is to be less than whole. There was nothing I could do to prove my worth. I was - incapable even of performing husbandly duties with any of the females of my tribe."
Cordelia: "You mean you are..."
Groo: "Anatomically equipped to mate only with a human."
Cordelia: "Good to know."
Cordelia: "Get out!... Ah, no. Wait!... He can stay."
Narwek: "There has been a disruption at the bach-nal. The prisoner is ready for your swift and cruel punishment."
Cordelia: "Handle it, will you? I'm in the middle of something."
Narwek: "Execute the prisoner."
Cordelia: "Wait! - Hang on!... Pardon him. I - I pardon him. Pardon him. Ah, release him. Now!... Oh, baby, are you okay?"
Lorne: "Not as good as you obviously. - Should I call them back? You could borrow the cuffs."
Gunn: "You're having a Blair witch moment?"
Groo: "Can they not just look upon you and see that you are a princess?"
Cordelia: "I'm not."
Groo: "No. Pardon my imprudence, majesty, but you are wrong. The Covenant has declared it so."
Cordelia: "It doesn't matter what they say."
Groo: "Then you declare it so. You declare it with your bearing and your beauty - and the mercy that I have seen you bestow upon one of your subjects this very day."
Cordelia: "He was a friend of mine."
Groo: "Then if you treat all of your subjects this way, you will do much good."
Cordelia: "It's a beautiful dream. Really it is. But - it's not real."
Groo: "Why not?"
Silas: "Foolish girl."
Cordelia: "Hey! Who's wearing the tiara around here, pal?!"