Buffy: Okay, one more time. You're the who?!
Buffy: Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!
Kendra: Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.
Buffy: Okay, a scenario. You back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out.
Buffy: You know. No kick-o, no fight-o?
Giles: And you are called...?
Kendra: I am de Vampire Slayer.
Buffy: We got that part, hon. He meant your name.
Kendra: Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.
Buffy: Can you say 'stucky in the 80's'?
Willow: Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?
Giles: Not to my knowledge. Um, th-the new Slayer is only called after the previous Slayer has died. Uh... Oh, good Lord! You were dead, Buffy.
Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.
Kendra: She died?
Buffy: Just a little.
Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?
Willow: Buffy would never do that! Oh, except for, the sometimes you do that. But, only with Angel. Right?
Willy: What are you gonna do with him anyway?
Spike: I've been thinkin maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.
Xander: Find something to cover the crack under the door!
Cordelia: Uhhh... Here! I don't do worms.
Xander: Cover me!
Cordelia: Eww! Eh! Eh!
Buffy: I don't take orders. I do things my way.
Kendra: No wonder you died.
Drusulla: I was dreaming.
Spike: Of what, pet?
Drusilla: We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.
Spike: I brought you something.
Drusilla: And there were worms in my baguette.
Spike: Your sire, my sweet.
Drusilla: My Angel?
Drusilla: You've been a very bad daddy.
Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbood? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt too? Cause that would be cool.
Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbood would be of no use in your case.
Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha-what's wrong with my case?
Kendra: Buffy's a student here?
Kendra: Riiight, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.
Giles: Oh, no, well, a-a-actually she had to give up cheerleading. Uh, it was quite an amusing story, actually.
Buffy: I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say. 'Kendra, you slay, I'm goning to Disneyland'.
Willow: But not forever, right?
Buffy: No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months.
Xander: I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.
Cordelia: How will she even know where to find us?
Xander: Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are, she'll find us.
Cordelia: I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!
Xander: Then go. I'm not stopping you.
Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to doom all by herself.
Xander: Not just any girl. You're special.
Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few minutes on Earth here WITH YOU!
Xander: I hope these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you, and I'm gonna...
Cordelia: I'm gonna what? Coward!
Cordelia: I hate you!
Xander: I HATE YOU!
Xander: We so need to get out of here.
BuffY: Hey, Will, don't look, okay, but... No, don't look! That guy over there is totally checking you out.
Willow: Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity.
Buffy: Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now? Told you!
Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition?
Oz: Oh yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.
Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.
Oz: I, uh, I'm shot! Y'know. Wow! It's odd! And painful.
Jonathan: W-was that a demonstration?
Xander: Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan Association?
Xander: A Slayer, huh? I knew this 'I'm the only one. I'm the only one' thing was just an attention-getter.
Buffy: Just say hello, Xander.
Xander: Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.
Kendra: Uh... I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir, um... I will be of service.
Xander: Great! Good. It's good to be a giver.
Buffy: You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?
Xander: No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis lady. He was a man of bugs, not a man who was a buy.
Buffy: Angel. He's Drusilla's sire.
Xander: Man, that guy got some major neck in his day!
Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.
Buffy: Good. Cause I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!
Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.
Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.
Kendra: Did anyone explain to what 'secret identity' means?
Buffy: Nope. Must be in the handbook. Right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that thing!
Kendra: Please. I'm an expert in all weapons.
Giles: Is everything alright?
Buffy: Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.
Xander: Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo.
Xander: Okay. Okay. He can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his liiittle buggy parts.
Cordelia: I know what it means, dorkhead.
Xander: Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!
Kendra: Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn't entertain dem.
Buffy: Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!
Spike: Pft! I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show.
Angel: Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes the best, as I recall.
Spike: What's that supposed to mean?
Angel: Ask her. She knows what I mean.
Drusilla: Shh. Rrruff. Bad Dog.
Angel: You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like you boy could use some pointers. She likes to be teased.
Spike: Who the hell is this?!
Buffy: It's your lucky day Spike.
Kendra: Two Slayers!
Buffy: No waiting!
Spike: I'd rather be fighting you anyway.
Cordelia: Die! Die, die, die! Die!
Xander: I think he did, Cordy.
Kendra: Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me only shirt!
Oz: Oh look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: Yeah. I-I see!
Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!' And you know the monkey's just, 'I mock you with my monkey pants.' And then there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
Xander: Right, I hired a Latvian bug man to kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don't inspire me to spring for a dinner over at Bucky's Fondue Hut.
Cordelia: Fine! Whatever. You know, the point is: don't try it again!
Xander: I didn't try it! Forget about the bugs, okay? The memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.
Cordelia: If you dare breathe a word of this...
Xander: Like I want anyone to know!
Cordelia: Then it's erased!
Xander: Never happened!
Kendra: You talk about slaying like a job. It's not. It's who you are.
Buffy: Did you get that from your handbood?
Kendra: From you.
Buffy: I guess it's something I really can't fight. I'm a freak.
Kendra: Not the only freak.
Buffy: Not anymore.
Kendra: I don't hug.
Buffy: Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.