Phases
Willow: Hi.
Oz: Oh, that's what I was gonna say.
Willow: What cha lookiing at?
Oz: This cheerleading trophy. It's like its eyes follow you wherever you go. I like it.
Willow: Oh, there. I have my friend. So I will go to her.
Larry: Man! Oz, I would love to get some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean. Ha ha ha.
Oz: That's great, Larry, you've really mastered the single entendre.
Larry: So, Oz, man, what's up with that? Dating a junior? Uh, let me guess. That little innocent school girl thing is just, uh, just an act, right?
Oz: Yeah. Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun.
Willow: It is nice. He's great. We have a lot of fun. But I want smoochies!
Buffy: Have you dropped any hints?
Willow: I've dropped anvils.
Willow: Great, I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.
Buffy: Meow!
Xander: I just don't trust Oz with her. I mean, he's a senior. He's attractive -- okay, maybe not to me, but -- and he's in a band. And we know what kind of element that attracts.
Cordelia: I've dated lots of guys in bands.
Xander: Thank you.
Cordelia: Do you even wanna be here?
Xander: I'm not running away.
Cordelia: Because when you're not babbling about poor, defenseless Willow, you are raving about the all-powerful Buffy.
Xander: I do not babble. I occasionally run-on, every now and then, I yammer...
Giles: Well, it seems there was a, a number of other attacks by a wild dog around town. Several animal carcasses were found mutilated.
Willow: You mean, like bunnies and stuff? No, don't tell me.
Oz: Oh, don't worry. I mean, they might not look it, but bunnies can really take care of themselves.
Willow: Yeah.
Oz: Yeah.
Willow: Well, last night was the night before the full moon, traditionally known as... the night before the full moon.
Giles: Meaning the accepted legend that werewolves only prowl during a full moon might be erroneous.
Cordelia: Or it could be a crock.
Cordelia: I think you splased on just a little too much 'Obsession For Dorks'.
Willow: Don't forget, you're supposed to be a meek little girlie-girl like the rest of us.
Buffy: Spoil my fun.
Giles: And th-the full moon is, is, seems to bring out our darkest qualities.
Xander: And yet, ironically, led to the invention of the moon pie.
Giles: And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and, and aggressive.
Buffy: In other words, your typical male.
Xander: On behalf of my gender, hey!
Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.
Buffy: Ahem. Hey, before we get all chummy here, how about we do something about me being in this net thing?
Giles: You alright?
Buffy: Yeah.
Cain: Gotta say, I'm impressed.
Giles: Excuse me?
Cain: Well, it's good to get the fruit while it's fresh.
Giles: You'd be wise to take that back.
Cain: Hey, what a man and a girl do in lovers' lane at night is nobody's busi...
Buffy: Oh, okay, hey, enough, repulsive brain. It's not what you think. We're hunting werewolves.
Cordelia: I mean, with Xander it's always, Buffy did this, Willow said that. Buffy, Buffy. Willow, Willow. It's like I don't even exist.
Willow: I sometimes feel like that.
Cordelia: And then when I call him on it, he acts all confused, like I'm the one with the problem.
Willow: His do I smell something? look.
Cordelia: All a part of his little guy games. It's like he's there, but then he's not there, and he wants it, but then he doesn't want it.
Willow: He's so busy looking around at everything he doesn't have, he doesn't even realize what he does have.
Cordelia: Well, he should at least realize that you have Oz.
Willow: Mm, I'm not sure I do. Oz and I are in some sort of holding pattern, except without the holding or... anything else.
Cordelia: What's he waiting for? What's his problem? Oh, that's right, he's a guy.
Willow: Yeah, him and Xander. Guys.
Cordelia: Who do they think they are?
Willow: Couple of guys.
Cain: First they tell me I can't hunt an elephant for its ivory... Now I've gotta deal with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Werewolves.
Oz: Huh.
Oz: Aunt Maureen. Hey, it's me. Um, what? Oh! It's uh... actually it's healing okay. That's pretty much the reason I called. Um, I wanted to ask you something. Is Jordy a werewolf? Uh-huh. And how long has that been going on? Uh-huh. What? No, no reason. Um... Thanks. Yeah, love to Uncle Ken.
Xander: But while we hang here doing nothing, there's a human werewolf walking around out there, probably making fun of us.
Willow: The way werewolves always do.
Xander: Giles knows stuff, and I'm practically an expert of the subject.
Willow: On account of once you were a hyena?
Xander: I know what it's like to crave the taste of freshly killed meat, to be taken over by those uncontrollable urges.
Buffy: You said you didn't remember anything about that.
Xander: I said I didn't remember anything about that. Look, the point is, is I have an affinity with this thing. I can get inside of its head. I'm a big, bad wolf. I'm on the prowl. I'm sniffing, I'm snarling, I'm a slobbering predator, I'm... Wait a second! It's right in front of us. It's obvious who I am. I'm Larry! The guy's practically got wolf-boy stamped on his forehead. You got the dog bite, you got the aggression, not to mention the excessive back hair.
Larry: Harris. Sheesh. Next time wear a bell.
Xander: Why so jumpy, Larry?
Larry: Geeks make me nervous.
Xander: Is that really it or is there something you're hiding?
Larry: I could hide my fist in your face.
Xander: I know your secret, big guy. I know what you've been doing at night.
Larry: You know, Harris, that nosey little nose of yours is going to get you into trouble someday... Like today.
Xander: Hurting me isn't gonna make this go away. People are still gonna find out.
Larry: Alright. What do you want? Hush money? Is that what you're after?
Xander: I don't want anything! I just wanna help!
Larry: What, you think you have a cure?
Xander: No, it's just... I know what you're going through because I've been there. That's why I know you should talk about it.
Larry: Yeah, that's easy for you to say. I mean, you're nobody. I've got a reputation here.
Xander: Larry, please, before someone else gets hurt.
Larry: Look, if this gets out, it's over for me. I mean, forget about playing football. They'll run me outta this town. I mean, come on! How are people going to look at me after they find out I'm gay. Oh, wow. I said it. And it felt... okay. I'm gay. I am gay.
Xander: I heard you the first time.
Larry: I can't believe it. It was almost easy. I never felt I could tell anyone. And then you, you of all people, you bring it outta me.
Xander: It probably would have slipped out even if I wasn't here.
Larry: No, no, because knowing you went through the same thing, made it easier for me to admit it.
Xander: The same thing...
Larry: It's ironic. I mean, all those times I beat the crap out of you, it musta been because I recognized something in you that I didn't want to believe about myself.
Xander: Larry, no, I am not...
Larry: Of course, of course not. Don't worry. I wouldn't do that to you. Your secret's safe with me.
Buffy: So what's the scuttlebutt? Anybody besides Larry fit our werewolf profile?
Willow: There is one name that keeps getting spit out. Aggressive behavior, run-ins with authorities, about a screenful of violent incidents.
Buffy: Okay, most of those were not my fault. Somebody else started em. I was just standing up for myself.
Willow: They say it's a good idea to count to ten when you're angry.
Buffy: One... Two... Three...
Willow: I'll keep looking.
Buffy: Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like, they grow body hair, they lose all ablitiy to tell you what they really want.
Willow: It doesn't seem like a fair trade.
Willow: It used to be so much easier to tell if a boy like you. He'd punch you on the arm and then run back to his friends.
Buffy: Those were the days.
Xander: Hey.
*punches Buffy on the arm*
Buffy: But there goes our lead suspect. Which then puts us right back at square boned.
Xander: You're not boned, you're Buffy. Eradicator of evil. Defender of, um... things that need defending.
Xander: Oh, no. My life's not too complicated.
Oz: I know, I know, it's me. I'm, I'm goin through some... changes.
Willow: Oh what, so now you're special? You're special boy, with... chains and stuff. Why do you have... chains and stuff?
Willow: It's Oz! It's Oz!
Buffy: Wh-what's Oz?
Willow: The werewolf.
Giles: Are you certain?
Willow: Can't you just trust me on this? He-he said he was going through all these changes. Then he went through all these... changes.
Willow: You're not gonna kill Oz! Yeah, he's a werewolf, but he doesn't mean to be.
Buffy: How about you let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of town?
Xander: This is all so weird. I mean, how are we supposed to act when we see him?
Buffy: Well, it's gotta be weird for him, too. Now that we know so much.
Xander: All I know is I'll never be able to look at him the same again.
Buffy: He's still a human being. Most of the time.
Xander: Who are we talking about?
Buffy: Oz. Who are you talking about?
Xander: No one.
Larry: Hey! Xander. Look, about what you did. I, I owe you.
Buffy: What'd you do?
Xander: It's really nothing we should be talking about. Ever.
Larry: I know, I know. It's just, well, thanks.
Buffy: That was weird.
Xander: What, it's not okay for one guy to like another guy just because he happened to be in the locker room with him when absolutely nothing happened and I thought I told you not to push.
Buffy: All I meant is that he didn't try to look up my skirt.
Xander: Oh, oh, yeah, that's, that's the weirdness.
Buffy: Weirdness abounds lately. Maybe it's the moon. That does stuff to people.
Xander: What relationship? I mean, what life could they possibly have together? We're talking obedience school, paper training. Oz is always in the back, burying their things. and that kind of breed can turn on its owner.
Xander: All I'm saying is she's not safe with him. If it were up to me...
Buffy: Xander... It's not up to you.
Willow: I'm sorry about how all this ended up. With me shooting you and all.
Oz: It's okay. I'm, I'm sorry I almost ate you.
Willow: It's okay. I kind of thought you would have told me.
Oz: I didn't know what to say. I mean, it's not everyday you find out you're a werewolf. That's fairly freaksome. It may take a couple days getting used to.
Willow: Yeah. It's a complication.
Oz: A werewolf in love.