Buffy: Have you ever done an exchange program?
Xander: My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once. Does that count?
Xander: Hold on a sec. So, this person who's living with you for two weeks is a man. With man parts. This is a terrible idea.
Willow: What about the beautiful melding of two cultures?
Xander: There's no melding, okay? He better keep his parts to himself.
Willow: You just don't like him cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years.
Xander: Yeah. I'm irrational that way.
Buffy: I wasn't going to use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is you believe that.
Xander: Typical museum trick. Promise human sacrifice, deliver old pots and pans.
Buffy: So, can I go?
Giles: I think not.
Buffy: How come?
Giles: Because you are the Chosen One.
Buffy: Mm. Just this once I'd like to be the Overlooked One.
Giles: Well, I'm... afraid that is not... You have responsibilites that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone.
Giles: It's as if you know me.
Buffy: Giles, come on, budge! No one likes a non budger.
Giles: FINE! Go.
Buffy: Yay! I win.
Xander: So, I guess we're dance-bound. Cool. I think I can get my mom's car, so I'm wheel man.
Buffy: I thought you were taking Willow.
Xander: Well, yeah. I'm gonna take Willow but I'm not gonna take Willow in the sense of 'take me'. See with you we're three, and everbody's safe. Without you we're two.
Buffy: Ahh, and we enter Dateville, romance, flowers.
Buffy: Oh, come on. In all the years you've known Willow, you've never thought about her lips?
Xander: Hey, maybe he awakened the mummy.
Willow: Right, and it rose from its tomb.
Buffy: And attacked him.
Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke.
Xander: For twenty one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.
Giles: We'll deal with that when we've... ruled out evil curses.
Buffy: One day I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying.
Xander: Maybe we should ask that crazy man with the big old knife.
Buffy: I don't think he seemed overly chatty.
Xander: Oh, yeah. Fall for the old 'let me translate that ancient seal for ya' come on. Tsh. D'ya know how many times I've used that?
Willow: So, Ampata. You're a girl.
Ampata: Yes. For many years now.
Xander: Your English is very... bueno.
Ampata: I listened much.
Xander: Well, that works out well, because I talk much.
Cordelia: Devon, I told you I'd be at the dance tonight, but I am not one of your little groupies. I won't be all doe-eyed looking up at you, standing at the edge of the stage.
Devon: Got it.
Cordelia: So, I'll see you afterwards?
Devon: Sure. Where do you wanna meet?
Cordelia: I'll be standing at the edge of the stage.
Devon: Oz, man! What do you think?
Oz: Of what?
Devon: Cordelia, man!
Oz: She's a wonderland tour.
Devon: Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?
Oz: Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to 'A Summer Place'. I can't discuss it here.
Oz: I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.
Devon: She doesn't have to talk.
Xander: Yeah, It's a delicious, spongy, golden cake stuffed with a delightful, creamy substance of goodness.
Xander: Good, huh? And the exciting part is that they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce so it doesn't leave you with that heavy... food feeling in your stomach.
Ampata: You are strange.
Xander: Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.
Ampata: I like it!
Xander: I like you like it! Please, don't learn from my English.
Buffy: So, then we just have to stop the mummy. Which leads to the questions: how do we a) find, and b) stop the mummy?
Xander: We're in the crime club. Which is kinda like the chess club, only with crime, and, um... no chess.
Buffy: Hey! Look at us! We came up with a plan. A good plan.
Giles: Alright. We'll meet there tonight after it closes.
Buffy: No! Bad plan. I have other plans. Dance plans. Cancelled plans.
Xander: Okay, I have something to tell you, and it's kind of a secret, and its um, a little bit scary. I like you. A lot. And I want you to go with me to the dance.
Ampata: Why was that so scary?
Xander: Well, beause you never know if a girl's going to say yes or if she's going to laugh in your face and pull out your still-beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.
Xander: That's great! You're not a preying mantis, are you? Sorry, someone else.
Ampata: I will return to you.
Xander: Where are you going?
Ampata: Where you cannot follow.
Ampata: They told her she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world. Out of all the girls in her generation... she was the only one...
Ampata: Do you know the story?
Buffy: It's fairly familiar.
Buffy: And, uh, what culture are you?
Xander: I'm from the country of Leone. It's in Italy pretending ot be Montana. And where are you from? The country of White Trash?
Ampata: Hello, Xander.
Xander: Hho hee ze thee ai uh...
Buffy: I can translate American salivating boy talk. He says you're beautiful.
Xander: Hyav su.
Buffy: You're welcome.
Cordelia: Oh! Near faux pas! I almost wore the same thing.
Xander: Do you, um... Would you like to, uh... you know...
Ampata: I'd love to dance.
Buffy: One of these days you're gonna have to get a grownup car.
Xander: Okay, at least I can rule out something I said.
Giles: Oh wait!
Buffy: Uh, waiting...
Jonathan: Your hands feel kinda... rough. Aren't you with Xander?
Ampata: Does it look like I'm with Xander?
Jonathan: That's my cue to leave.
Xander: Hey, I know why you can't tell me. It's a secret, right? And if you told me, you'd have to kill me. Oh! That was a bad joke. And the delivery was off, too. I'm sorry.
Oz: Hey, I... Who is that girl?
Buffy: Are you okay?
Xander: I think so. Boy, that was some kiss!
Xander: I'm really the Fun-Talking Guy today, huh? Sorry.
Buffy: That's okay. You don't have to talk.
Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.
Buffy: I remember how I felt when I heard the prophecy that I was gonna die. I wasn't exactly obsessed with doing the right thing.
Xander: Yeah, but you did. You gave up your life.
Buffy: I had you to bring me back.