Reptile Boy

Xander: Is she dying?
Buffy: I think she's singing.
Xander: To a telephone in Hindi. Now that's entertainment. Why is she singing?
Willow: She's sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coing, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt, and now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big maypole... fish thing.
Xander: Why is she singing?
Buffy: Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.
Willow: Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.
Xander: Hmm. And we thought just because we didn't have any money or anyplace to go this would be a lackluster evening.
Willow: I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water.
Xander: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.
Buffy: I, for one, am giddy and up. There's a kinda hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampirs to slay, I'm here with my friends... So, now does the water buffalo fit in again?

Buffy: I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him.
Willow: Not during the day, but you cold ask him for coffee some night. Its the non-relationship drink of choice. Its not a date, its a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure its hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but...

Giles: Just because the paranormal is more normal and less... para of late, that is no excuse for tardiness or letting your guard down.

Giles: Buffy, you think I don't know what it's like to be sixteen?
Buffy: No. I think you don't know what it's like to be sixteen. And a girl. And the Slayer.
Giles: Fair enough, no, no, I-I don't.

Buffy: Right! Who needs a social life whe you've got your very own Hellmouth?

Xander: Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework in the library?
Buffy: I'm dawdling with my friends.
Xander: Works for me.

Xander: Okay, so tonight, channel fifty-nine, Indian TV, sex, lies, incomprehensible story lines. I'll bring the betel nuts.

Xander: Uh, I-I believe we were dawdling here!

Buffy: Y'know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble.

Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get outta control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me. I wanna die.

Cordelia: Oh, Buffy, its like we're sisters, with really different hair.

Buffy: I-I'm not going with Angel. I'm going with -- ye gods -- Cordelia.
Willow: Cordelia?! Did I sound a little jealous just then, cause I'm not really... Cordelia?!
Xander: Cordelia'a much better for you than Angel.

Giles: Will you be ready if a vampire's behind you? I didn't see you there... creeping about.

Buffy: Look, I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.
Xander: Like a corn dog.
Willow: Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's going to be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.
Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies and why aren't I on the mailing list?

Willow: I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.
Xander: Buffy's lying, Buffy's going to frat parties... That's not askew, that's cockeyed.
Willow: Askew means cockeyed.
Xander: Oh.

Cordeila: Ohh! Why do they park so darn close to you?

Tom: Can I have this dance?

Xander: Godzilla's attacking downtown Tokyo! Argh! Argh!

Tackle: C'mon, dance, pretty boy!

Buffy: Okay. Nice bed. Just need to stop spinning for at least...

Giles: Callie Megan Anderson. Missing for over a week. No one's seen her, no one knows what happened to her.
Willow: This being Sunnydale and all I guess we can rule out something good.

Cordelia: Why'd I ever let you talk me into coming here?

Willow: Oh! Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave?

Cordelia: What are they, some kind of cult or something?
Buffy: Yeah, a psycho cult.

Buffy: Hey, reptile boy!

Willow: Some guy's attacking Buffy with a sword! Also there's a really big snake!

Willow: Guys! Buffy! Snake! Basement! Now!

Cordelia: You did it! You saved us! I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole... You guys. I just... hate you guys! The weirdest things always happen whey you're around! And you! You're going to jail for fifteen thousand years!

Buffy: I told one lie. I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture.
Buffy: I'm sorry.

Xander: Hmm. Starve a snake, lose a fortune. Boy, I guess the rich really are different, huh?

Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? Hey man, how you doin'?
Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Angel.
Xander: Xander!
Angel: I hear this place, uh, serves coffee. I thought maybe you and I should get some. Sometime. If you want.
Buffy: Yeah. Sometime. I'll let you know.

Episode Guide: Reptile Boy

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- - last updated: 2-24-02 - -