Cordelia: "We need to make some little changes for safety. Covers for the outlets, kidproof the locks on the weapon cabinet."

Gunn: "There's blood over here."
Wesley: "Not to mention some bastard blown a gaping hole in the lift."
Angel: "Sorry. My bastard."
Wesley: "Oh. Well - not like we ever use it."

Lorne: "Wow. I'm sensing a serious 'mama bear' vibe."
Cordelia: "Yeah, we're all still waiting our turn."
Lorne: "I get it. Lookee don't touchee?"

Cordelia: "You don't have a woman's touch - whatever your taste in clothing may indicate."

Gunn: "Bogie at the back door!"

Wesley: "Angel, we could use your help when you're finished - changing the baby - who is being changed on my desk."
Angel: "Sorry. I needed the space."
Wesley: "Of course. And seeing as you nearly had sex on my desk I shouldn't be surprised that now there is a baby on it."
Angel: "Hey! First of all that wasn't me, that was some guy who switched bodies with me. And second of all can we keep the S E X talk away from the baby?"
Wesley: "Do you need help?"
Angel: "Ah, no. Wes. I know how to change a diaper - a normal one with pins. It's these newfangled fasteners."
Wesley: "Did you know these diapers are lined with a space-age material originally designed for NASA astronauts? Hmmm, interesting. Though now I'm picturing grown men in nappies and am rather distrubed."

Angel: "Okay. Here's your babba. Take your babba. You just take it like this and you drink and you're happy."

Angel: "It's good. Try it. You'll like it. Mmmm, so good. See? Ha. Teddy likes it. And I like it, too. See? Mmmm."
*Smiles at baby, then turns head away, makes a face and spits*

Lorne: "I installed an ememrgency exit down in the sewers. A-a mystical barrier, opens and closes with a password. Pylean word for hedgehog."
Fred: "Oh. Oh!"*laughs*
Gunn: "I'm guessing it means something very different in English?"

Lilah: "Dusted during childbirth is more like it. According to our sources she staked herself, leaving the baby alive and kicking but never actually born. MacDuff was from his mother's womb untimely ripped."

Angel: "Teddy isn't crying. Do you see Teddy cry? Teddy isn't crying. Do you see Teddy crying? No, Teddy isn't crying. Come on, kid, you gotta give me something here."

Lilah: "That whole thing is Angel's file."
Woman: "Just the first thirty five cabinets."

Cordelia: "Get any sleep?"
Angel: "Nah, I was up all night watching him."
Cordelia: "You know, if you'd let us take shifts we could..."
Angel: "No, I wasn't watching him like that - I was just watching him. He - looks a little bit like me, don't you think?"

Lorne: "Good morning all. Is that bacon I smell or did somebody fall asleep with the curtains open? You got to figure a guy like you, a place like this, the only true safe room would be the janitor's closet."
Angel: "Thanks for the tip."
Fred: "Were you able to sleep, Lorne, or did you still hear that humming?"
Lorne: "Oh, I got some earplugs. Put them in and slept like a baby. Cried and wet the bed all night. Tough room."

Lilah: "This is impossible. Two hundred seventy five years of the most inane... What kind of wussy name is Liam anyway?"

Woman: "I'm files and records. It's my job."

Lilah: "So what we're dealing with is a single minded vengeance machine with a bloodlust to match. That's just - awesome."

Angel: "This isn't going to work."
Wesley: "I checked it. It's primed and ready."
Angel: "Not the weapon, the plan."
Lorne: "I'm so glad somebody finally said that, because sitting here waiting to die never was much of a plan."

Gunn: "What are you doing?"
Wesley: "Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in Rio Bravo. You?"
Gunn: "Austin Stoker, Assault on Precinct Thirteen."
Cordelia: "If we live through this, trade in your DVD players and get a life."

Angel: "We'll get through this, I promise. The vampire/demon/biker posse, that's the easy part. The part that scares me - is all the questions. Why is the sky blue. Why do people get sick. Why is there always pigs' blood in the fridge. I don't have all the answers. Well, I do to that last one."

Lilah: "That green houseguest could hear the hum of your transmit frequencey. What are the odds?"
Linwood: "All that Sturm and Drang about Angel running out on them? Just a performance."
Lilah: "He did a good job. Who knew Angel had the acting chops?"

Linwood: "He's a cog in the machine, and aren't we all..."

Angel: "For not only are you not coming after him, you gonna make sure that he lives a long, healthy life. You just became his godfather, understand?"
Linwood: "I believe I do."

Angel: "Oh, and one more thing: College fund? Start saving. I got my heart set on Notre Dame."

Doctor: "I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy."
Cordelia: "Oh, great. But I'm not the mother."
Doctor: "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy."
Fred: "Oh. Me neither."
Wesley: "I'm afraid the mother is, ah, no longer in the picture."
Doctor: "I see."

Angel: "Conner. His name is Connor."
Doctor: "Conner. Thank you. Mr. Angel. And congratulations."
Angel: "Thanks. Hey... Mr. Angel?"
Fred: "Your first name is Geraldo."
Cordelia: "We had to tell them something."
Fred: "Geraldo Angel. You're a pet psychiatrist with a small practice in Pacoima. Oh, and you fight crime - we just told them the name part. The rest in me, having fun."
font color=FFCC33>Angel: "I don't know what to say."
Cordelia: "How about thanks. I appreciate it. You guys rock. Way to go?"
Angel: "What she said."

Wesley: "Conner. That's a lovely name. I don't suppose you ever considered Wes..."
Angel/Gunn/Cordelia: "No."
Fred: "Not to be negative or anything, but - we're okay, right? Nobody else is coming after Connor or us?"
Angel: "No. We're safe for the time being. Let's go home. Nice stroller."
Gunn: "Thank you."

Episode Guide: Dad

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- - last updated: 2-16-02 - -