Angel: "It's strange. I remember him being taller."
Lorne: "Trick of the light. They don't actually get smaller until they're very, very old."
Angel: "I didn't mean the baby."
Lorne: "I know you didin't."
Angel: "I meant the Groosalugg."
Lorne: "I know you did."
Angel: "He seem, I dunno, short?"
Lorne: "Oh, absolutely. Clearly the guy shrank. All over, probably. Why he's nothing but a muscle-y midget. I'm sure the moment Cordelia gets him home she'll just pop him in a small-ish drawer and that'll be that. You got nothing to worry about, tiger."
Angel: "She took him home -- Well, that's... good. At least we won't have to put him up here. Place was starting to turn into a hotel."
Angel: "There's nothing between Cordelia and me."
Lorne: "Sure there is! And it's got arms like steel cables and a deeply ironic sense of timing."
Angel: "It's good Groo showed up when he did. You were right -- Cordelia deserves a champion. Now she's got one."
Lorne: "What about you?"
Angel: "I don't need a champion."
Lorne: "You need someone."
Groosalugg: "At first my rule went well. But things changed. Soon the people turned against me."
Cordelia: "Yeah. They'll do that."
Groosalugg: "Endless committees were formed. The committees splintered into factions, the factions formed coalitions, the coalitions turned into subcommittees, until finally the more radical elements, spurred by a charismatic leader, did the Dance of Revolution."
Cordelia: "It's a good thing you got out, then."
Groosulugg: "Yes. I went to one of the ousted Priests Of The Trombli who, with his knowledge of the ancient books, caused a portal to open through which I escaped."
Cordelia: "And here you are."
Wesley: "I know his sudden arrival was something we all needed to digest. Still, there are questions..."
Angel: "You're suspicious."
Wesley: "Cautious might be a better word."
Angel: "No, right. Cautious. We should be totally cautious. I agree totally."
Wesley: "You do? Good. Because --"
Angel: "You think he's evil?"
Angel: "Okay, maybe not 'evil', but he's definitely hiding something. He seem shorter to you?"
Wesley: "We are both talking about Connor, aren't we?"
Angel: "What about Connor?"
Groosalugg: "Angel! Your weapons are most impressive!"
Angel: "Thanks. Thank you. Could you please ask him not to handle my weapons?"
Cordelia: "Relax. If there's one thing Groo knows, it's how to handle a weapon. Poor guy. Looks like that's about all he's gonna be handling."
Angel: "You mean... you two didn't...?"
Wesley: "You should have called one of us."
Cordelia: "Oh, please. Like I'm gonna bother you guys in the middle of the night just because I want sex and can't have it."
Wesley: "Actually, I meant the vision."
Cordelia: "Oh. That. It was only like a def-con 3. It's not rising until sometime later today."
Wesley: "Oh. Why can't you have sex?"
Cordelia: "I could lose my visionity."
Wesley: "Allllright. If you want to play it that way..."
Cordelia: "Vision-ity. The visions. When that one hit me last night -- it hit me: in Pylea, the visions were supposed to pass to Groo if we ever did the royal Com-Shuk. Ho do I know it won't happen here?"
Angel: "Wow. Good point. You really don't."
Cordelia: "I know. I know! I can't risk it. It's just... I'm so... he's such a... Errrrr-ruf!! Don'tcha think?"
Angel: "Oh, well, sure. I guess."
Wesley: "Certainly a very attractive man."
Cordelia: "Maybe there're other things we could do to relieve the tension."
Angel: "Jogging could be a thing."
Wesley: "Or perhaps there's some form of paranormal prophylactic that would allow you to..."
Angel: "Because, you know, endorphins..."
Cordelia: "I guess we could probably 'Com' without actually 'Shuking', right?"
Angel: "Well... I dunno. That could be a slippery slope that once you're on it you could... slide."
Cordelia: "Well, at least I won't be upsetting the average around here... Nobody in this office is ever gonna get any..."
Gunn: "It's funny..."
Fred: "The way I chew?"
Gunn: "No. Until... that kiss last night, I woulda thought maybe you and Wesley had a little thing for each other."
Fred: "I'm sorry. I'm being ridiculous, I know. I'm just... I guess I don't have a lot of experience in this area. I spent the last five years in a cave."
Gunn: "I know what that's like."
Fred: "How could you?"
Gunn: "Cos now everything's so bright my eyes hurt. I like it."
Angel: "You know -- I don't think this is such a great idea. Me and him. I'm more of a loner, really. Plus, he's kinda bulky. Could slow me down."
Wesley: "He's an experienced warrior. He should be a great asset."
Cordelia: "Here's a nice one."
Angel: "That's my favorite broadsword!"
Wesley: "It'll be fine, Angel."
Groosalugg: "After we slay this beast, I shall present its head to my princess. As a token."
Angel: "Right. Cos she'd love that."
Cordelia: "They're cute together, aren't they?"
Wesley: "Yes... they are."
Susan: "You think you know someone. You think your place is secure and that there's a future there... and then something happens. No. Strike that. Someone happens. They insinuate themselves, pushing you out, taking your place."
Cordelia: "Oh, wait -- it's not like your strength is in your hair or anything, right?"
Groosalugg: "No. I believe it is in my muscles."
Groosalugg: "You're afraid that with me you will be less than you were."
Gunn: "There're so many different kinds of magic. Demon-y love spells and mojo sex chants and voodoo bootie rituals and..."
Fred: "...voodoo bootie ritual? You're making that up."
Gunn: "Then there's the all powerful big, brown, soulful eyes kind of magic spell."
Fred: "Kinda familiar with that one myself."
Angel: "Thanks. For what you said before. I guess I was feeling a little obsolete. You put things into perspective for me."
Wesley: "I'm glad I could. And while I do believe having another warrior for good could be an asset to us in the coming days, you and Groosalugg are two very different... people..."
Wesley: "...who look exactly alike."
Angel: "He's wearing my clothes."
Wesley: "Good fit."
Angel: "He's wearing my clothes."
Cordelia: "What? Oh, yeah. I didn't think you'd mind. Turns out you guys are about the same size. I think he's a little taller. Looks great, though, doesn't he?"
Cordelia: "You've done so much for me already. One more thing for the list, I guess."
Angel: "There's no list, you know that. You just tell me what I can do."
Cordelia: "I need you to help me have sex. With Groo."
Cordelia: "I'm tired of being lonely."
Cordelia: "Nearly cleaned me out, but I think it's worth it."
Angel: "So that you and Groo can..."
Cordelia: "Com-Shuk like bunnies. You betcha."
Cordelia: "Yeah. But you'd be safe there. No woman's gonna tempt you, right?"
Fred: "Well that can't be good --"
Anita: "So I love your outfits."
Angel: "Well. I wouldn't call them 'outfits'."
Anita: "But you are together?"
Groosalugg: "Yes. Two champions here together."
Angel: "Not 'together' together. Just get-the-potion-together."
Groosalugg: "So I may Com-Shuk my Princess."
Angel: "Just to reiterate --"
*Points to Self*
Angel: "Not the princess."
Groosalugg: "Angel, your coat is singing."
Gunn: "Him and his date... Some kind of a root crazy, tree-like demon-y thing..."
Fred: "With what looks like a DSL connection..."
Groosalugg: "I am honored they requested the Groosalugg to save them."
Angel: "I wouldn't say requested. More like included."
Fred: "Now who's gonna save us?"
Angel: "Oh man, you ripped my shirt."
Angel: "Really? Stronger? C'mon, he can't be that great."
Fred: "He is the Groosalugg. Maybe his life force is super-charged."
Angel: "What do you think? Honestly? Is he better than other men?"
Monster: "He's... magnificent..."
Angel: "Really? I'd say more like magnificently stupid. Cause him with the beer tap in his chest and me with the walking around. You've got my hair, you've got my clothes. But there's a little more to me than that. And I'm getting really tired of all the Groosa-worship. Nothing personal, champ. Everyone makes such a big deal. 'Ohhh the Groosalugg, he's a champion, he's so rugged, so emotionally available... look at him out in the daylight.' Well, I'm smarter and stronger and I pick out my own clothes. And the sad part? You'll never know how truly amazing I am. You're not smart enough to catch me. You'll just have to keep sucking on this. About time... Okay... Show me what you got. Hell, no one's using my heart at the moment, anyway."
Monster: "Kill... you..."
Angel: "Sorry. Already dead."
Wesley: "Still, she could get hurt. I trust that won't happen."
Gunn: "What are you, her brother?"
Gunn: "Oh, man. Wes -- I didn't mean..."
Wesley: "She chose. That's all. It's just important to me she's taken care of."
Gunn: "She will be."
Angel: "It's okay. It was already ruined."
Cordelia: "If it's any consolation, I planned to rip it off him later, anyway. You did get the potion, right?"
Cordelia: "Did something happen at the brothel? You were supposed to look after him."
Angel: "Nothing happened. Except... your boyfriend here was very brave. He saved the day."
Cordelia: "You did? Ya big hero!"
Groosalugg: "What? No. I was reckless. I put everyone in great peril. Angel is the true champion."
Cordelia: "Did you hear that?"
Angel: "Yeah, but..."
Cordelia: "How many guys would give away the credit like that? That is just so noble. The potion? Let's get out of here. See ya."
Wesley: "I thought I was alone."
Angel: *looking at Connor* "Yeah. So did I."
Wesley's notes: "The father will kill the son."