Double or Nothing

Cordelia: "We're back! And we're bearing gifts!"

Cordelia: "I'm just here - okay?"

Groo: "This house is thick with sadness."
Lorne: "Yeah, tell me about it. Home is where the heart is, but these hearts are broken."

Monica: "It was Wesley. Irish fellow, right?"
Syd: "He was English, you old bat!"
Monica: "Anyway, that's who we were talking to. Is he here?"
Gunn: "Ah - he's on sabbatical."

Monica: "Ask me how many times I had to listen to this."
Syd: "Oh, like you ever listen."
Monica: "And you have so many interesting things to say."

Gunn: "So, Skenches. I've heard about them. Sort of impish kind of demon - like a leprechaun."
Syd: "Leprechauns don't exist, son."
Monica: "Now, Syd, don't embarrass the lad."

Gunn: "Skenches take over a house, right? Drive out the people who live there?"
Monica: "Well, god knows you can't stay. What with the shrieking all night and the projectile phelgm."

Gunn: "I thought gettting rid of Skenches was pretty easy though. Don't you just have to lop off its head?"
Syd: "Sure! If you can avoid phelgm."
Monica: "Syd has a phobia about phlegm."
Syd: "I do not! I have a phobia about sputum."

Gunn: "Man! You hear those two?"
Fred: "It's beautiful. All that time and they're still in love. The way they finish each other's insults."

Fred: "Don't forget your machete."
Gunn: "Yes, dear."
Groo: "He is very fortunate to have such a woman looking after his weapon."
Lorne: "I'm not touching that one."

Fred: "Gunn and I found your notes about - the baby, the prophecy. You took him away because you thought Angel was gonna kill him. You were trying to protect em - both of them. I just wanted you to know I understand that. - And I also wanted to say, I thought what Angel tried to do to you was wrong - and I'm sorry. - But he ws right to blame you, Wesley. You should have come to us. You should have trusted us instead of going to Holtz behind our back. You're supposed to be our friend and you didn't even... - If Angel sees you again, he'll kill you, Wesley. This time for real. Don't come back to the hotel - ever... The prophecy was false. Angel was never gonna hurt Connor. - It was all for nothing."

Groo: "Hail to you, potential client! - How may I be of service?"

Gunn: "Okay. Definitely not a Leprechaun."

Gunn: "I want something."
Owner: "Not sure I can help. I don't traffic in wants. I supply needs. The kind of things you gotta have right now or you'll die. They tend to be more valuable."

Owner: "I can make it happen - but there is a cost. I guess you know that. Nothing you gotta pay now, but one day you will. The cost, Mr. Gunn, is your future."
Gunn: "What future?"
Owner: "Well, there it is. Still, I need you to state for the record of your own free will - you're sure you wish to mortgage your future for your present happiness?"

Goon: "Isn't Fred a guy's name?... Hey, none of mine. I'm just here to tell ya: you broke the contract. Your soul ain't yours to give. It's Mr. Jenoff's to take."

Cordelia: "Cordelia here. I can see the misery all over your face."

Cordelia: "You and Fred are meant to be. I get that now. She's a doll. I admit, I was a little slow on the uptake. I thought she and Wes, but... - the way you two look at each other... Well, this place could use a little happiness right now. And you and Fred have your whole, big, bright future ahead of you, and I'm here to tell you it's alright for you to enjoy it. Life goes on."
Gunn: "I should enjoy my future."
Cordelia: "I'm just saying. If there's one thing I learned living on a Hellmouth: everyday is precious. You never know when it may be your last."
Gunn: "I never figured I'd be around this long - or have this much."
Cordelia: "Some people never know one day of joy. You're lucky."
Gunn: "Maybe I am."

Fred: "Hey! Sorry, I have to cancel somebody just walked in my door."
Gunn: "He better looking than me?"
Fred: "Way. And he brought me breakfast in bed!"

Fred: "Pancakes and Waffles? I'm in starch heaven!"

Fred: "You - are the best boyfriend ever... Pancake kiss!"

Angel: "I think he was gonna be left-handed. The way he would hold on to your fingers? His left hand always squeezed just a little bit tighter. - Kid had a grip. He was gonna be a south paw for sure. - When you live as long as I do, you eventually lose everyone. - I'm not saying you get used to it but - you expect it. You deal. - But he was just... - - He was just a little... - You think you know something about living because you have this really long life. - And that's really all we have, I mean, in my case anyway. And one day you wake up - and you have something else."
Cordelia: "A future."
Angel: "I had a son."

Fred: "I'm kinda full."
Gunn: "Oh, my god. This is serious."

Fred: "Something's terribly wrong."
Gunn: "No."
Fred: "Charles, do you have leukemia?... Don't laugh at me. I see it on the news all the time. They're young and in love, their whole lives ahead of them and suddenly - tragedy strikes."

Fred: "Wait! Is there someone else? What's her name?"
Gunn: "Her name is 'I'm a real woman, not a stick figure' - get the picture?"

Cordelia: "I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know what you're going through or that I could begin to understand what it is you're feeling. The last thing you need right now is someone saying that given time things will get better or the hurt's gonna go away. - The truth is, if you lived another two hundred years, you'd never forget how Connor was taken from you. And you shouldn't. - You loved your son, Angel - and you'll go on loving him, and missing him. - You'll go on living, too. You'll do that."
Angel: "I don't know how."
Cordelia: "You don't need to. The 'how' works itself out. Life will just keep happening. There'll be people who need us and so - we'll help them - cause that's what we do."

Cordelia: "I mean those things you said he said to you..."
Fred: "I know I said he said those things to me, but he would never say those things to me."
Cordelia: "Those things he said?"
Fred: "Exactly!"

Angel: "Let me get this straight. You and Gunn are dating."
Fred: "Not any more, I guess!"

Fred: "He hurt me. And the only reason he'd do something like that is protect me from something. And whatever it is, it's gotta be bad, because this hurts like hell."
Angel: "Then I guess we better help him... We are not losing another member of this family."

Cordelia: "Jenoff?"
Angel: "The soul sucker."

Angel: "Who does a guy gotta kill to get to talk to the boss around here, huh?"

Jenoff: "How stupid do I look to you? You're a vampire. I can smell it from here."
Angel: "Take a bigger whiff. I'm a vampire with a soul."
Jenoff: "Oh. You're that vampire."

Angel: "We're gonna win Gunn's soul back."
Fred: "This is so wrong is so many ways. I mean, it's not money or a stuffed bunny Angel's playing for. It's my boyfriend."

Angel: "A three?"
Gunn: "A three?!"
Jenoff: "A three. You lose."

Fred: "Say it again. A little slower this time."
Gunn: "I was terribly, terribly wrong to break up with you and say those mean and untrue things."
Fred: "Good. Now - say it into the tape recorder."

Fred: "Who did you trade your soul for?"
Gunn: "That - that was a long time ago."
Fred: "I know, but just tell me, and we'll never talk about it again."

Gunn: "It - it was a truck... I was seventeen years old and I sold my soul for a truck."
Fred: "Not this truck."
Gunn: "Don't go dissing my girl."
Fred: "Oh, Charles, your soul wasn't worth air conditioning?"

Fred: "What is it about you that makes me melt?"
Gunn: "Maybe it is that I love you."
Fred: "That's gotta be it."

Episode Guide: Double or Nothing

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- - last updated: 10-13-02 - -