Carpe Nocturn
Fred: "Sorry! Did - did I startle you guys?"
Wesley: "No."
Cordelia: "Only in the sense of shocking and jolting us."
Fred: "Why would girls wanna look like that? I spent years in a cave starving. What's their excuse?"
Cordelia: "Fashion."
Angel: "Looks like it's just you and me, Fred. - Well, the worm certainly has turned."
Fred: "Y-y-yeah. The worm's turning and... Am I the worm?"
Angel: "No. You may not know this, Fred, but certain friends and co-workers have been known to accuse me of being the quiet, stay at home, sulky one... Some people - just don't know how to have fun anymore."
Fred: "And he opened every door for me and he paid for the tickets. And even bought a giant popcorn. And every few minutes he'd go like this... Because he wanted me to know it was okay for me to have some. And he's so lonely because he's the last man on earth."
Wesley: "Angel?"
Fred: "No! Charlton Heston. The Omega Man? Omega being the last letter of the Greek alphabet so it's a metaphor. And he walks on the street side and not the building side. It's old-fashioned, but kind of chivalrous, you know?"
Wesley: "We're back to talking about Angel."
Fred: "Right. And even though he didn't talk a lot, it was still okay. It was comfortable. It wasn't that awkward kind of quiet. You know that awkward kind of quiet?"
* moment of silence *
Wesley: "No. That's never happened to me."
Cordelia: "She's got the big puppy love. I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome, and brave, and heroic, emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil and, lets face it, a eunuch."
Angel: "Hey, how can you... I'm not a eunuch."
Cordelia: "Angel, it's just a figure of speech."
Angel: "Find a better one."
Cordelia: "I just mean that sex is a no-no for you. Because of this whole 'if you know perfect bliss you'll turn evil' curse. Really no cure for that, huh?"
Angel: "What do you think? Spell, curse - serial demon?"
Gavin: "You're a tough one. I know I'm gonna have to earn your respect. But give me a little time. You'll see I'm a creative guy."
Lilah: "Oh, like your 'lets torment Angel with building code violations' idea? Uh, so machiavellian! We'll just drown him in red tape."
Gavin: "There are other levels to this, Lilah. Avenues of interest I have... One of them being: does Angel even exist?"
Lilah: "Are you getting metaphysical on me?"
Gavin: "No. The guy has no social security number, no tax payer ID, no last name as far as I know. How can he go down to the building department, or anywhere else in officialdom for that matter? - He's the rat and we're the maze. Don't you wanna see what he'll do next?"
Lilah: "He might just rip out your throat."
Gavin: "Do you think he'd do something that cliched? Gosh. Maybe you don't know him as well as you think."
Wesley: "Everyone know what they're doing? Good."
* they all leave, except for Fred *
Fred: "I'll just stay here... Okay. I'll do that."
Cordelia: "So, did you ever see anyone come in who looked suspicious - or really pale - or maybe green and scaly?"
Angel: "Pilates, is that like Tae-bo?"
Phil: "Yeah - if you're living in 1999."
Cordelia: "There could be follow-up questions. I'll need some home phone numbers. Why don't we start with you, Benny?"
Angel: "There is a retirement home in the street behind us. I'm gonna check something out."
Cordelia: "Bye."
Angel: "Maybe when you're done with your work - here - you can pick me up. - Okay."
Cordelia: "He's just someone I work with. Anyway..."
Angel: "Cordelia... have I ever told you you are a very beautiful woman?"
Cordelia: "Ha, ha. Very funny. I know you never said anything that tacky or overt to Fred. But you're still gonna have that talk - whether you want to or not."
Cordelia: "Just - keep it simple. One: you're not like other men. Two: there is no room in the workplace for romance."
Angel: "Romance with Fred. - So I'm a... Obviously."
Wesley: "You know there is something about brewed tea you simply can not replicate with a bag."
Cordelia: "I'll interview the hookers. Are there any men who aren't just dogs?"
Angel: "Not very many, I'm afraid."
Angel: "Well. Hey, sweetheart. Where you've been hiding?"
Fred: "You know, up in my room."
Lilah: "What do you want?"
Angel: "You. - Don't tell me you never thought about it."
Lilah: "You son of a bitch!"
Angel: "Whoa! I'm sorry! It just - felt like the thing to do... Whoa! What are you born again all of a sudden?"
Cordelia: "If Julia Roberts ever makes a realistic movie about being an escort, I think it should be called pretty skanky woman."
Boyfriend: "What are you on?"
Angel: "Well, you know, I'd say I'm high on life only - I ain't alive - which means - I'm never gonna die. I'm gonna be young, handsome and strong forever!"
Wesley: "I do not believe it. On my desk?"
Gunn: "Well, it did used to be his. Maybe he was just kinda - reclaiming it."
Wesley: "How? By marking it? - This isn't like him."
Cordelia: "What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde?"
Fred: "Brunette. She was a cheap brunette."
Cordelia: "You're right. This isn't like him."
Angel: "Hi, dad."
Marcus: "I don't think you really know what you're getting into."
Angel: "Oh, I know what I'm getting into. You're the one that doesn't seem to know what you had. As far as I can tell you were the world's worst vampire. Vampires don't help people, you moron - they kill em! Here, let me show you."
Marcus: "You may have the attitude, and you may have the power - but there is one thing you don't have, and never will: friends... Four of them, standing behind you... with big, heavy things."
Cordelia: "You're Angel? With that cologne? I don't think so."
* Fred hits Angel's body over the head *
Marcus: "Fred! He's out! He's out!"
Marcus: "You...! You don't deserve that body!"
Angel: "Funny. I was gonna say the same thing to you. I tell you why you have a weak heart, Marcus. You never use it."
Ryan: "What's going on?"
Angel: "Dad's having a bad night."
Angel: "Fred, I've been meaning to talk to you about something."
Fred: "Okay... Is this about how you're not like other men - what with that curse and all... and how you're really fond of me, but that's as far as it goes?"
Angel: "Uhm... - yeah."
Fred: "Cordelia explained it to me. She said you'd probably just screw it up."
Angel: "Oh, she did, did she? - And she's probably right."
Fred: "It's like something out of Fitzgerald. - The man who can have everything but love. - Well, maybe in some ways you're better off because love is... - Well, in a way it's everything. - But it's also heartache and disappointment. - And those are good things to avoid."
Cordelia: "Angel, Willow's on the phone... She's alive! Buffy's alive!"
Fred: "Buffy?"