Doppelgangland
Anya: "For a thousand years I wielded the powers of The Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math."
D'Hoffryn: "This is no concern of ours. You will live out your mortal life and die."
Anya: "Give me another chance. You can fold the fabric of time. Send me back to that place and I'll change it. I won't fail again."
D'Hoffryn: "Your time is passed."
Anya: "Do you have any idea how boring twelfth graders are? I'm getting my power center back. And if you won't help me, then, by the pestilent gods, I will find someone who will!"
Willow: "How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? Buff buff."
Willow: "Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, 'I sometimes like to kill people'."
Buffy: "I know Faith's not gonna be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but... she had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me."
Snyder: "You've got the brains, he's got the fast break. It's a perfect match."
Willow: "Match? You want us to breed?"
Snyder: "I want you to tutor him. Percy is flunking history. Nothing seems to be able to motivate him."
Percy: "Hey, I'm challenged."
Snyder: "You're lazy, self-involved and spoiled. That's quite the challenge."
Faith: "You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun, only boring."
Wilkins: "No Slayer of mine is gonna live in a fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there."
Faith: "Yeah, plus all the screwing. This place is the kick!"
Faith: "Thanks, Sugar Daddy."
Wilkins: "Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend."
Oz: "There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own."
Willow: "I'm eating this now. It's not lunchtime, I don't even care."
Buffy: "Hey."
Xander: "Willow, did you remember to tape Biography last Friday?"
Willow: "Uh-huh."
Buffy: "See, I told you. Old Reliable."
Willow: "Oh, thanks."
Buffy: "What?"
Willow: "Old Reliable? Yeah, great. There's a sexy nickname."
Buffy: "Well, I-I didn't mean it as..."
Willow: "No, it's fine. I'm Old Reliable."
Xander: "She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals."
Willow: "That's Old Faithful."
Xander: "Isnt' that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot..."
Willow: "That's Old Yeller."
Buffy: "Xander, I beg you not to help me. Will, I-I didn't mean it as a bad thing. I-I think it's good to be reliable."
Willow: "Well, maybe I don't wanna be reliable all the time. Maybe I'm not just some doormat person. Homework Gal."
Xander: "I'm thinking nere strike."
Willow: "Maybe I'll change my look! Or cut class. You don't know. And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!"
Buffy: "Will, wait. I'm really sorry..."
Willow: "Buff, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me."
Willow: "That was... W-w-what was that?"
Anya: "Oh, it's not here. It's not here!"
Willow: "Okay, that's a little blacker than I like my arts."
Anya: "Oh, don't be such a wimp."
Willow: "That, that-that wasn't just some temporal fold, that was some weird Hell place. I-I don't think you're telling me everything."
Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace."
Willow: "Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell?"
Anya: "Fine! Go! Idiot child."
Vamp Willow: "This is weird."
Vamp Willow: "Bored now."
Xander: "What's going on? Is there a funny thing?"
Xander: "Uh... Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. Don't wanna fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places!"
Buffy: "Aren't you gonna introduce me to your... Holy God, you're Willow."
Vamp Willow: "You."
Buffy: "You know what? I, I like the look. It's um... it's, it's extereme, but it, it, it looks good, you know, it's a leather thing, and, uh... I said extereme already, right?"
Vamp Willow: "Leaving now."
Xander: "This isn't real."
Buffy: "I can't feel anything. Arms, legs, anything."
Giles: "She was truly the finest of all of us."
Xander: "Way better than me."
Giles: "Much, much better."
Xander: "It's all my fault."
Buffy: "No, it's me. I-it's me. I'm the one that called her reliable. She must have gone out and gotten attacked, which she never would have done if I hadn't called her reliable. And now my best friend is..."
Willow: "What's going on?... Jeez, who died? Oh, God! Who died?"
Xander: "Back! Get back, demon!"
Buffy: "Willow, you're alive?"
Willow: "Aren't I usually?"
* Buffy hugs her tightly then Xander joins the hug *
Willow: "I love you guys, too?... Okay. Oxygen becoming an issue."
* Xander and Buffy let go *
Willow: "Giles, what's going on with these..."
* Giles hugs her *
Willow: "Oh!"
Giles: "Oh. Sorry."
Willow: "It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?"
Buffy: "Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?"
Giles: "Well, uh... something... something, um, very strange is happening."
Xander: "Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?"
Anya: "What a day. Gimme a beer."
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: "I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a friggin beer!"
Bartender: "I.D."
Anya: "Gimme a Coke."
Alfonse: "Alright. Nobody cause any trouble or try to leave... and nobody gets hurt."
Angel: "Why don't I believe him?"
Oz: "Well, he lacks credibility."
Devon: "Dude, check out your girlfriend."
Vamp Willow: "Questions? Comments?"
Buffy: "It was exactly you, Will, every detail. Except for you not being a dominatrix. As far as we know."
Willow: "Oh, right. Me and Oz play 'Mistress of Pain' every night."
Xander: "Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?"
Buffy: "Oh, yeah."
Angel: "Buffy, I... I just... Something's happened that... Willow's dead. Hey, Willow... Wait a second."
Xander: "We're right there with you buddy."
Buffy: "Should we call Faith?"
Giles: "No, I don't want her in combat yet. Not around civilians."
Xander: "Hear, hear."
Vamp Willow: "Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy."
Willow: "What do I want with you? Uh..."
Vamp Willow: "Your little school friend Anya said that you're the one that brought me here. She said that you could get me back to my world."
Willow: "Oh. Oh! Oops!"
Vamp Willow: "But I don't know... I kinda like the idea of the two of us. We could be quite a team, if you came around to my way of thinking."
Willow: "Would that mean we have to snuggle?"
Vamp Willow: "What do you say? Wanna be bad?"
Willow: "This just can't get more disturbing."
Giles: "It's extraordinary."
Willow: "It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and... skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay."
Buffy: "Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was."
Angel: "Well, actually... That's a good point."
Buffy: "Are you okay in that?"
Willow: "It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe. Gosh, look at those."
Xander: "What is the signal?"
Willow: "Me screaming."
Willow: "Don't worry. I won't do anything that could be interpreted as brave."
Anya: "Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth."
Willow: "She bothered me. She's so weak and accommodating. She's always letting people walk all over her, and then she gets cranky with her friends for no reason. I just couldn't let her live."
Cordelia: "Wesley? I just happened to stop by... for books."
Cordelia: "What did you do? Lock yourself in the book cage?
Vamp Willow: "Yeah. Lemme out... Cause I'm so helpless."
Cordelia: "Wait. It occurs to me that we've never really had the opportunity to talk. You know, woman to woman... with you locked up."
Cordelia: "What? Do I have something on my neck?"
Vamp Willow: "Not yet."
Cordelia: "Am I getting a zit?"
Wesley: "A little on edge. You know, men in combat. Grr. Are you all right?"
Cordelia: "You saved my life. Thank you!"
Wesley: "Oh, yes. Uh... Yes. Was that...?"
Cordelia: "Willow. They got Willow. So, are you doing anything tonight?"
Willow: "A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this?"
* She screams at the top of her lungs *
Anya: "Sure. Yeah. Humans can do that. Yeah."
Alfonse: "Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah."
Vamp Willow: "This world's no fun."
Willow: "You noticed that, too?"
Xander: "So, um, in your reality, I'm like this bad-ass vampire, huh? People afraid of me? Oh, yeah. I'm bad."
Anya: "I don't need tricks. When I get my powers back, you will all grovel before me."
Willow: "Good luck. Try not to kill people. Hands! Hands!"
Vamp Willow: "Aw, f..."
Willow: "Strangely, I feel like staying at home... and doing my homework... and flossing... and dying a virgin."
Buffy: "You know, you can O.D. on virtue."