Graduation Day Pt2
Xander: "Here is your cup of coffee. Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid."
Giles: "Thank you. Horrible."
Xander: "Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea anyway?"
Giles: "Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense."
Xander: "Okay. But you are destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here."
Cordelia: "I demand an explanation."
Xander: "For what?"
Cordelia: "Wesley."
Xander: "Uh - inbreeding?"
Cordelia: "Well, does he have to leave the country? I mean, you got fired, and you still hang around like a big loser. Why can't he?"
Willow: "He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy."
Oz: "You too, huh?"
Angel: "Don't do that!"
Wilkins: "I will. I do that and worse. Murdeous little fiend! Did you see what she did to my Faith?"
Angel: "Hadn't any plans to weep over that one."
Wilkins: "Well, I'd get set for some weeping if I were you. I'd get set for a world of pain! Misery loves company, young man, and I'm looking to share that with you and your whore!... Looks like somebody has been eating his spiniach. No, its okay, folks. It's all right. The show's not over, but there will be a short intermission. Don't want to miss the second act. All kinds of excitement!"
Xander: "Well, its just good to know that when the chips are down and things look grim you'll feed off the girl who loves you to save your own ass!"
Buffy: "Who's going to look after him?"
Faith: "It's a she. And aren't these things supposed to take care of themselves?"
Buffy: "A higher power guiding us?"
Faith: "I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant."
Buffy: "There's something I'm supposed to be doing."
Faith: "Oh yeah. Miles to go. Little Ms. Muffet counting down from 7-3-0."
Buffy: "Great. Riddles."
Faith: "Sorry, it's my head. A lot of new stuff. They are never going to fix this, are they?"
Buffy: "What about you?"
Faith: "Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades. You want to know the deal? Human weakness - never goes away. Not even his."
Buffy: "Is this my mind or yours?"
Faith: "Beats me. Getting towards that time."
Buffy: "How are you going to fit all this stuff?"
Faith: "Not gonna. It's yours."
Buffy: "I can't use all of this!"
Faith: "Just take what you need. You're ready?"
Buffy: "I'm ready."
Willow: "Ready for what?"
Buffy: "War."
Buffy: "So, am I crazy?"
Willow: "Well, crazy is such a strong word."
Giles: "Let's not rule it out though."
Cordelia: "I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan."
Oz: "We attack the Mayor with humus."
Cordelia: "I stand corrected."
Oz: "Just trying to keep thing in perspective."
Xander: "Key? Me? Okay, pride, humility, and here is the mind numbing fear. What do I have to do?"
Oz: "Is there something that he's afraid of?"
Angel: "Well, he's not crazy about germs."
Cordelia: "Of course, that's it. We attack him with germs!"
Buffy: "Great! We'll corner him and then you can sneeze on him."
Cordelia: "No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and... and... Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and... uhm... chase him... with the box..."
Xander: "I'm starting to lead towards the humus offensive."
Oz: "He'll never see it coming."
Xander: "Hey it's Mr. States-the-Obvious."
Buffy: "The council is not welcome here. I have no time for orders. If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you a call."
Wesley: "I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help."
Cordelia: "That is so classy! Isn't he just so classy?"
Buffy: "It's a start."
Wesley: "So there is something I can do... besides scream like a woman."
Buffy: "You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?"
Xander: "But I'm still key guy, right?"
Buffy: "Right."
Xander: "Then Angel - in his non key guy capacity - can work with me."
Angel: "What fun."
Xander: "Hey! Key guy is still talking..."
Buffy: "Oh, that's good! Start bickering. That's going to look great for us. You guys are like little old ladies!"
Wilkins: "Remember: fast and brutal. It's going to be a whole new world come nightfall, don't want to weaken now. And boys? Let's watch the swearing."
Xander: "Harmony, listen, I need to talk to you for a second."
Harmony: "You mean in front of other people?"
Wesley: "With Buffy no longer working for the council, there really is... no place for me here."
Cordelia: "I guess not."
Wesley: "No... reason to stay."
Cordelia: "No."
Wesley: "No. No... cause to hope that... I might be needed?"
Cordelia: "Needed?"
Wesley: "Or... wanted..."
Cordelia: "Wanted..."
* They kiss akwardly *
Cordelia: "Good luck in England."
Wesley: "Yesh, uhm, I'll drop you a line some time."
Cordelia: "That'll be neat."
Oz: "You nervous?"
Willow: "Only in a terrified way."
Snyder: "Congratulations to the classof 1999. You all proved more or less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so: sit still and be quiet. Spit out that gum. Please welcome our distinguished guest speaker: Richard Wilkins the 3rd. I saw that gesture. You see me after graduation."
Buffy: "Oh my God. He's going to do the entire speech."
Willow: "Man, just ascend already."
Buffy: "Evil."
Wilkins: "It's been a long road getting here. For you... for Sunnydale. There has been achievement, joy, good times,... and grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journey's end. And what is a journey? Is it just... distance traveled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way, its the things that happen to you. At the end of the journey you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change, it means you do. You ascend... to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing."
Snyder: "This... this is simply unacceptable!"
Snyder: "This is not orderly. This is not discipline! You're on my campus buddy! And when I say I want quiet, I want..."
* Snyder is eaten by the demon snake that was Mayor Wilkins *
Buffy: "You remember this? I took it from Faith. Stuck it in her gut. Just slid in her like she was butter. You want to get it back from me, Dick?"
Wilkins: "Well, gosh."
Wesley: "If I could... could just get something for the pain. It's rather a lot of pain, actually. Asprin? If you would... uh... ah.. Perhaps I could just be knocked unconscious."
Buffy: "I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much: fire bad; tree pretty."
Giles: "There is a certain dramatic irony that's attached to all this. A Synchronitcity that borders on... on predestination, one might say."
Buffy: "Fire bad; tree pretty."
Giles: "Yes, s... sorry. I'm going to see to Wesley, see if he's... is stil... whimpering."
Cordelia: "Well, that's the most fun you can have without having any fun."
Oz: "Guys take a moment to deal with this: we survived."
Buffy: "It was a hell of a battle!"
Oz: "Not the battle, high school. We're taking a moment... and we're done."