The Wish
Willow: "Oh, God! Demon! Demon! What kills a demon?!"
Buffy: "Nnnrrf! Nnnrrf!"
Willow: "Oh, Nerf! Not Nerf. Knife!"
Xander: "So how come Faith was a no-show? I thought mucus-y demons were her favorites."
Buffy: "You got plans?"
Xander: "I cannot stress enough how much I don't have plans."
Xander: "Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss."
Willow: "Darn tootin!"
Xander: "And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault."
Buffy: "You logic does not resemble our Earth logic."
Xander: "Mine is much more advanced."
Anya: "Nice bag. Prada?"
Cordelia: "Good call! Most people around here can't tell Prada from Payless."
Oz: "Look... I'm sorry this is hard for you. But I told you what I need. So I can't help feeling like the reason you want to talk is so you can feel better about yourself. That's not my problem."
Cordelia: "But Harmony..."
Anya: "Oh, she follows me around. If that girl had an original thought, her head would explode."
Xander: "Look at her. Tears of a clown, baby. Or is it... grins of a sad person? Or maybe it's..."
Cordelia: "You know what I've been asking myself a lot this last week? Why me? Why do I get impaled? Why do I get bitten by snakes? Why do I fall for incredible losers? And you know, I think I've finally figured it out, what my problem is? It's... Buffy Summers. That's when all my troubles started. When she moved here."
Anya: "But Xander, he's an utter loser. Don't you wish..."
Cordelia: "I never would've looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn't made him marginally cooler by hanging out with him."
Anya: "Really?"
Coredelia: "Yeah, I swear! I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale."
Anyanka: "Done."
Cordelia: "'I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale'. She was, like... a good fairy. A scary, veiny... good fairy."
Cordelia: "I just... Well, I bumped by head yesterday, and I keep forgetting stuff. Not that I care, but Xander Harris, he's miserable, right? And that Willow freak he hangs with, not even a blip on the radar screen, right?"
Harmony: "Well, yeah. They're dead."
Cordelia: "Okay. Not funny. Hey! You! Where did you put my car?"
Janitor: "Pardon?"
Cordelia: "My auto! El convertablo?"
Cordelia: "Listen to me. We have to find Buffy. She'll figure out a way to save us. She was supposed to be here, and as much as it kills me to admit it... things were better when she was around."
Xander: "Buffy? The Slayer?"
Cordelia: "No! Buffy the dog-faced girl! Duh! Who do you think I'm talking about?"
Willow: "Bored now."
Cordelia: "No. No! No way! I wish us into Bizarro Land, and you guys are still together?! I cannot win!"
Xander: "Slap my hand, dead soul man."
Cordelia: "Giles! It's all my fault! I wasn't... I made this stupid wish..."
Giles: "Come on. Please lie..."
Cordelia: "No! You have to get Buffy. Buffy changes it. It wasn't like this. It was better. I mean, the clothes alone... But people were happy. Mostly. And... Wait. Why are you here and she's not? I mean, y-you were her Watcher."
Willow: "You're in a big cage."
Xander: "Not too bright, Book Guy."
Willow: "That's right, Puppy... Willow's gonna make you bark."
Giles: "It's what, um, Cordelia was wearing. It's the, the, uh, symbol of, of Anyanka."
Oz: "I don't think I know her."
Giles: "Well, no. Um, Anyanka is a, sort of a Patron Saint of scorned women."
Larry: "What does she do?"
Giles: "Uh, sh-she grants wishes."
Oz: "So Cordelia wished for something? Well, if it was a long, healthy life, she should get her money back."
Giles: "She said something about everything being different, that the... the world wasn't supposed to be like this. It was, um, better. Before."
Larry: "Okay. The entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish? I just, I just want it clear."
Buffy: "Why don't I just put a stake through her heart?"
Giles: "She's not a vampire."
Buffy: "Mm, well, you'd be surprised how many things that'll kill."
Buffy: "You're taking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves."
Giles: "Giles."
Buffy: "Kill the bad fairy... destroy the bad fairy's powercenter, whatever, and all the troubles go away?"
Giles: "Yeah, well, I'm sure it's not that simple, but..."
Buffy: "World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing doesn't change that."
Giles: "I have to believe in a better world."
Buffy: "Go ahead. I have to live in this one."
Angel: "The Master rose. He let me live... to punish me. I kept hoping maybe you'd come. My destiny."
Buffy: "Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the Second Coming."
Giles: "Cordelia Chase. What did she wish for?"
Anyanka: "I had no idea her wish would be so exciting! Brave New World. I hope she likes it."
Anyanka: "This is the real world now. This is the world we made. Isn't it wonderful?"
Anyanka: "You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this?"
Giles: "Because it has to be."