The House Always Wins

Man: "Nothing human can move that fast. What are you?"
Connor: "Don't know yet. But I know what you are... and what to do with you. That'll do for now."

Cordy: "Of course he can do it. He's his fatehr's son. Same dark good looks, same lost boy sweetness, and the broodyness, boy, he got that down stone cold... You really don't have to worry about him, Angel. But maybe there is something you could be worrying a little more about, like, for instance, me! Remember me? The one stuck in misty magicland for like, eternity? You've got to get me out of here, Angel. Please! Help me!"

Angel: "I know you're there - watching me."
Cordy: "Oh my god! Angel, you can hear me? I so love you! You don't know what it's been like!"
Fred: "We weren't spying."
Cordy: "Ah, for crap's sake."

Fred: "It's just we've been a little concerned about you. Wondering where you've been skulking off to these past few nights."
Angel: "I'm not skulking."

Gunn: "I mean, you act like a guy with a clear agenda, always on the move, but - we don't know where we're going."
Angel: "Come on."
Gunn: "For instance."

Gunn: "Now this is my kind of spiritual retreat."

Angel: "Wow. This place sure has changed."
Gunn: "Get out. You never told me you've been to Vegas before."
Angel: "Yeah, a few times. Been a while though. Used to be dunes over there."
Gunn: "Oh, man, it has been a while. They tore down the Dunes ten years ago."
Angel: "Not the casino. I mean actual dunes. Bugsy used to call them dung piles."

Gunn: "No one seems to be bothered by the fact that he's a demon."
Fred: "They must think it's all makeup - like the blue man group... You don't think the blue man group..."
Angel: "Only two of them."

Lorne: "Now all I need is a little help from my Lornettes!"

* Lorne starts his act, Fred screams and claps wildly, Angel and Gunn stare at her *
Fred: "He's very good."

Fred: "Oh, here he comes! He's gonna plotz when he sees us."

Lorne: "All right! Well, you're just a tickle-me cutie! What's your name, peach pie?"

Fred: "This was just - wow! Wasn't it? I-I mean the laser lights, the Lornette girls, and hello! Thirty piece orchestra?"
Gunn: "Yeah, but I still don't know why he dissed us during the sing-a-long... It's just nice to be asked, is all."

Lorne: "Hey! Love ya."
Fred: "We love you t... Wait. That was him being superficial, wasn't it?"

Wesley: "No, I'm working late as well. It's fine. Sorry to disappoint, Lilah, but I'm not waiting at the door with a scowl and burnt pot roast. Well, if your lot can have the world destroyed by midnight we could still..."

Cordy: "You're picking up on it, too, aren't you Angel? Something is wrong with those people. They could probably use your help... So that's got me wondering: where is that keen sense of perception as far as I'm concerned, huh? What am I out of the range of your super vampire senses? Angel!"

Fred: "I'm feeling really bad about this."
Gunn: "Oh, don't feel bad, babe. If I had your head for numbers, I'd be counting cards, too."
Fred: "No! I mean about Lorne acting weird with us."

Gunn: "Hey, it'll make my honey feel better, put her mind at ease, my fun can wait."
Fred: "It's because you're out of chips isn't it?"
Gunn: "Yeah."

Angel: "This place was so much friendlier when the mob ran it."

Angel: "Where were you trying to go?"
Vivian: "I've ran out of quarters. I need more quarters. Have to play to win."

Gunn: "Man. Heads of state don't get this much security. Something's starting to feel a lot 'not right' about this."
Fred: "That's what I've been saying - only with better grammar."

Bruiser: "What's this? He already got his drink."
Fred: "Ah. Yeah. He-he did. Right. I know. They-they told me... - I mean, they sent me to..."
Bruiser: "Oh, I get it. It's a little pre-show diddle for the green guy, huh?"
Fred: "What?... Diddle? I'm what?"
Bruiser: "Oh, don't be nervous. The demon, he doesn't bite - not with his mouth anyway."

Lorne: "It took you heros long enough to rescue me!"
Fred: "Frankly, Lorne, we weren't aware you needed rescuing."
Lorne: "Weren't aware? I told you!"
Fred: "When?"
Lorne: "Why, everytime you called, I kept asking about Fluffy!"
Fred: "Oh. I just thought you were using some show business catch phrase I wasn't hip enough to get. Who's Fluffy?"
Lorne: "Fluffy! Fluffy, the dog? The dog you don't have? The universally recognized code for 'I'm being held prisoner. Send help'."
Fred: "Oh. Okay. I'm hip now."

Croupier: "House wins!"

Fred: "Oh, my god! It-it was horrible! He attacked me with these - these laser beams that shot out of his horns and he escaped! He's gone!"
Bruiser: "There is no other way out."
Fred: "Right. No. Because - cause he went through some, some sort of - of demon metamorphosis thing. And, and he spit out his entire skeleton like, like - like blah! Like, like that! And then - and then he-he just slithered away! Down the drain! In the sink! In the bathroom! Hurry!"

Gunn: "Somebody wanna give me the low down?"
Lorne: "Later. Suffice it to say we're dead if we don't get our fannies out of Dodge."
Gunn: "Good enough."

Gunn: "Angel! Where have you been?"
Angel: "Here. I was there before. Now I'm here."

Lorne: "He's been using me to read members of the audience, find those with what he calls 'valuable destinies' - power, wealth, fame, yada, yada, yada. Then the ones I pick they get chosen to play this spin-to-win game. Only ah, it's not a game. It's a big scamola. Then their destinies are imprinted on the chips. And that old black magic wheel is tricked out to never pay off. The house always wins, and everybody loses."

Fred: "What now?"
Gunn: "Now we do that fighting for our lives thing that we do."

Fred: "That was brilliant, Lorne. I may never hear my upper registers again, but nice work."

Gunn: "I wanna know Lorne. Why didn't you just say no to that piece of..."
Lorne: "I did! The first time he asked me to, of course I refused! - So he blew a girl's brains out right in front of me. And he said that's what I could expect every time I said no."
Gunn: "Sorry."
Lorne: "No more than I am, slick."

Fred: "But what about his destiny? Angel's. We can't leave without getting it back!"
Lorne: "Yeah, well, this is Vegas, sunshine. Generally speaking, you lose here - you don't get it back."

Gunn: "You - you know who I am, right?"
Angel: "Gunn."
Gunn: "Right. And I'm your friend."
Angel: "I know. I'm not stupid."

Angel: "Have to play to win."

Lorne: "You get nothing from me if you hurt anyone else. I swear it."
Lee: "Lorne, sweetie, you worry too much. I promise you will be the only one hurting. Your friends will be dead so quickly they won't feel a thing."

Cordy: "Oh, this is just great! What's the point of being an all powerful what's-a-ma-whosit if I'm not allowed to intervene? My-my friends are gonna die! I mean - what am I supposed to... - Angel. God. Look what they've done to you. If I could just get you in that room, maybe... - Oh! Think bubble head! How do I..."

Spencer: "Sir - we have a winner."
Lee: "That's impossible!"
Spencer: "He's won a little over three hundred thousand dollars - and a car."
Lorne: "Pretty good haul for somebody with no destiny, huh?"

Lee: "How did you win on that slot machine?"
Angel: "I put a quarter in the slot and I pulled that little lever."
Lee: "Are you playing games with me, vampire?"
Angel: "I have to play to win."

Angel: "Just thinking. It doesn't make any sense winning on that slot machine."
Gunn: "Well, maybe DeMarco was right. Glitch in the machine."
Lorne: "Or maybe Lady Luck was smiling down on you."

Angel: "Cordelia?"
Cordy: "Who are you people?"

Episode Guide: The House Always Wins

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- - last updated: 10-26-02 - -