Doomed
Buffy: "Well, somebody should speak before one of us graduates."
Riley: "What are you?"
Buffy: "Capricorn. On the cusp of Aquarius. You?"
Riley: "Sorry. Came out a little blunter than I intended. It's just... You're amazing. Your speed, your strength -"
Buffy: "Also passionate, artistic, and inquisitive. Who are you?"
Riley: "You know who I am. The rest... What I do... I can't tell you."
Buffy: "Then, let me. You're part of some military monster squad that rounds up demons, vampires -- probably have some official-sounding euphemisms for them like 'Unfriendlies' or 'Non-sapiens'..."
Riley: "Hostile Sub-Terrestrials."
Buffy: "There you go. So you deliver these... 'HSTs' to a bunch of lab coats who perform experiments which, among other things, turn some into harmless bunnies. How am I doing so far?"
Riley: "A little too well."
Buffy: "I'd have thought a professional Demon chaser like you would've figured it out by now. I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen one? She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? You're kidding. In every genera -- You know, I really don't feel like doing the routine. Ask around. Look it up: 'Slayer comma The'."
Buffy: "I don't know. I'm still... I really thought you were a nice, normal guy."
Riley: "I am a nice, normal guy."
Buffy: "Maybe by this town's standards, but I'm not grading on a curve."
Riley: "Sorry. I'm a little excited. It's my first earthquake."
Buffy: "It isn't mine."
Xander: "You earn your keep or you don't get kept."
Willow: "Well, Porter Dorm is completely blacked out, so naturally they're dealing with the crisis the only way they know how: 'Aftershock Party'."
Buffy: "From the dorm that brought you the 'Somebody Sneezed Party' and 'Day That Ends in a 'Y' Party'."
Willow: "They do seem to be generous with the milestones."
Buffy: "Okay, say this quake was a sign -- a bad omen. And we just ignore it. There's gonna be some pretty red faces around here if the world comes to an end."
Riley: "What's a slayer?"
Forrest: "Slayer? Thrash band. Anvil-heavy guitar rock with delusions of Black Sabbath."
Spike: "Don't turn around."
Xander: "Spike? What is it? What's happened?"
Spike: "Don't look at me. It's... It's horrible."
Xander: "Oh my god."
Spike: "I shrunk them. My bleeding shirt, trousers..."
Xander: "Look at you. You have knees! Very white knees!"
Spike: "Damn things keep doing that."
Xander: "You know I'm not any happier about you wearing my stuff than you are."
Spike: "That cannot be true. Don't know how you let yourself be seen in this... wanker-wear."
Xander: "That's it! I am way past through with you. Hate to break it to you, Oh, Impotent One, but you're not the 'Big Bad' anymore. You're not even the 'Kinda Naughty'. You're nothing but a waste of space. My space. And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny, white, bum, and as much as I know I could give you a little bum-kicking myself now, I'm here to tell you... You're not even worth it."
Buffy: "Wow. See, I was kind of unsure about where the party was. And then I saw the flashing red lights and the ambulance, and it's like... oh, right, of course. Carnage. Death. It's a Buffy party."
Willow: "So much blood. Godfather horse-head amounts of blood, hold the horse. And there was a symbol and Percy said I was a nerd."
Buffy: "Percy called you a nerd?"
Buffy: "Does Percy even go here?"
Willow: "...of course, the Percy thing isn't really important. It's the dead guy on the bed."
Xander: "Yeah, that's bad too."
Buffy: "Tell them about the symbol."
Willow: "Oh, right. It was carved right into his chest. Like a big creepy eye."
Xander: "It's kinda the CBS logo. Could this be the handiwork on one Mr. Morley Safer?"
Buffy: "I've seen this before. Somewhere. I can't remember. It's like..."
Giles: "The end of the world."
Xander/Willow: "Again?!"
Giles: "The earthquake, this symbol--"
Buffy: "I told you! Giles, I said, 'end of the world', and you're all like... pooh pooh, Southern California pooh pooh--"
Giles: "I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse."
Willow: "It just can't be. We did this already."
Xander: "It is losing its impact a little."
Buffy: "'Ooh, I wonder where I've seen this before'. Where else? The place I spend almost all my waking hours, memorizing stuff off the sides of mausoleums. Big freaky cereal boxes of death--"
Buffy: "There's too much risk -- there's too much... It's just doomed, okay, and I can't do doomed again right now."
Giles: "'Slick like gall, and gird in moonlight, father of portents and brother to blight...'"
Buffy: "'...Limbs with talons, eyes like knives. Bane to the blameless, theif of lives..."
Spike: "Goodbye Dru. See you in hell... Bloody rot! Can't a person knock?"
Willow: "What are you doing!?"
Xander: "You were trying to stake yourself!"
Spike: "Fag off. It's no concern of yours."
Xander: "Is too. For one thing - that's my shirt you're aobut to dust. And for another - we've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you."
Willow: "Xander-"
Xander: "What? He want to die. I want to help."
Willow: "Well - I don't know - it's ooky. We know him. We can't just let him poof! himself."
Spike: "You go on. I won't do anything. I feel better now. Promise."
Xander: "Look at the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for - we're facing an apocalypse."
Spike: "Really? You're not just saying that?"
Buffy: "But, really, I'd better keep moving. You know - big bad needing to be squished -"
Riley: "Buffy -- where's the bad here? It just turns out we're even more well matched than we thought we were. I mean, you're a -- fry cook. And so am I."
Buffy: "Right. But you're an amateur... fry cook and I come from a long line of fry cooks who don't live past twenty-five."
Riley: "I'm sure there's some good looking guy that done you wrong in there to but mostly I think you want to stay down in the dark place. Cause maybe it's safer down there."
Spike: "I just don't want pity from geeks more useless than I am."
Willow: "We are not useless! We - we help people. We fight the forces of evil-"
Spike: "Buffy fights the forces of evil. You're her groupies. She'd do just as well without you. Better, I'd wager - since she wouldn't have to go about saving your hides all the time."
Xander: "That is so not true. We're part of the team. She needs us."
Spike: "Or - you're just the same 10th grade losers you've always been - and she's too much of a softy to cut you loose."
Buffy: "Looks like we're going back to high school."
Buffy: "Why is he here? It's not like he can fight."
Willow: "If we leave him alone he'll stake himself-"
Buffy: "And that's bad because-?"
Xander: "Sunnydale high. If these walls - were still walls - what stories they could tell... Ewwwww... Mayor meat. Extra crispy."
Spike: "No pain... I can hurt a demon... Yeah! That's right! I'm back and I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!!"
Xander: "Noooo!"
Willow: "Spike! Not in the-"
Spike: "What? I was helping."
Riley: "Well, hey! Willow. Xander, right? What are the chances, huh? I was just passing by - and I thought I heard people inside-"
Willow: "You were just passing by... in your GI Joe outfit?"
Buffy: "No offense - but you are looking wicked conspicuous."
Riley: "I am? But it's... paint ball and then the aftershock and I-"
Xander: "So you're one of the commando guys, huh?"
Riley: "No, no, no. Commando, I mean - Do I know you?"
Spike: "Me? No. No sir. I'm just - an old pal of Xander's here."
Riley: "Oh - I - Oh. That's nice."
Spike: "Yeah."
Xander: "Weird being back, wasn't it?"
Willow: "Yeah. Everything looked so much smaller. And more charred and ruin-y."
Spike: "What's this? Just sitting abotu watching the telly when there's evil afoot? Not very industrious of you. I say we get out there and kick a little demon ass! Can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her, then. She is the chosen one after all. Come on! Vampires, grrrrrrr - nasty! Let's annihilate em! For justice! And...and for the safety of puppies... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on..."