This Year's Girl
Buffy: "I wish I could stay, but-"
Faith: "You have to go."
Buffy: "It's just, with..."
Faith: "Little sis coming. I know. So much to do before she gets here."
Faith: "Are you ever gonna take this thing out?"
Willow: "Well, why don't we experiment, then? You know, press some buttons, see what happens."
Giles: "I'd like to veto that."
Xander: "Second. It's called a 'Blaster', Will. The word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now if it was called 'The Orgasminator', I'd be first to try your basic button-press approach."
Xander: "Working on it, working on it... But if I blow a hole into Mom's azalea patch, the neighbors will not be pleased."
Willow: "Maybe Giles has a point. Riley is kind of their top guy. It doesn't make sense that they'd hurt him."
Buffy: "But the Initiative has a whole bunch of brain-washy, behavior modification guys."
Willow: "So?"
Buffy: "So... what happens when they start not liking Riley's behavior?"
Forrest: "We have a problem, we will deal with that problem, and you know the most important thing of the equation right now is - we keep said problem within the family."
Riley: "Family. Is that what we are?"
Faith: "I don't know, it just seems like it always starts raining right about now."
Mayor Wilkins: "You're too young and too pretty a girl to start wearing worry lines on you face. Oops... There now, little fella. I dont' know where you belong, but it's sure not here with us. There you go. You see? There's nothing that can spoil our time together. Now who wants cheese cake?"
Buffy: "I TOLD YOU I HAD THINGS TO DO."
Buffy: "I've never seen anything like it."
Xander: "And I could go a long healthy stretch without seeing anything like it again."
Buffy: "The Initiative made this monster, now they can't stop it. But we will."
Xander: "Question: will hiding in a cabin with stockpiled chocolate goods be any part of this plan?"
Buffy: "No."
Xander: "Told you."
Buffy: "Oh my God, did I hurt you?"
Riley: "No, a giant skewer through the ribcage hurt me. That was just a reminder."
Xander: "That's great, Riley. And you know, there's no polite way to ask you this, but - did they put a chip in your brain?"
Riley: "Beg pardon?"
Buffy: "You know I never stopped thinking about you."
Riley: "Me, neither. All I had in there was this one little part of you."
Buffy: "It's just the scarf part of me, really."
Buffy: "I know how you feel. It's like, Giles is part of this council. For years all they did was give me orders."
Riley: "Ever obey them?"
Buffy: "Sure. I mean, the ones I was gonna do anyway. The point is, I quit the Council. And it scared me, but now it's okay."
Riley: "See, we're different that way. I just suck at the whole gray area thing."
Doctor: "Get the duty rosters, check the logs, I want to know exactly what happened. Coma patients do not just get up and walk away."
Xander: "How'd you do that? How'd he do that? Is there like an 'On/Off' button somewhere in here?"
Xander: "Yeah - I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic."
Buffy: "Faith's not exactly low-profile-girl. I'll patrol, let her make a move..."
Giles: "...and then what?"
Willow: "Ooh! I have an idea. Beat the crap out of her!"
Xander: "Good plan."
Willow: "What about the Council?"
Xander: "Been there, tried that. Not unlike smothering a forest fire with napalm, as I recall."
Giles: "The Initiative? They do have containment facilities."
Xander: "One word? Evil. No offense."
Buffy: "There's no way around it. Faith is back, and like it or not, she's my responsibility."
Willow: "Yeah, too bad. That was the funnest comma ever."
Riley: "Who's Faith?"
Willow: "What'd you tell him?"
Buffy: "The truth. She's my wacky identical cousin from England, and every time she visits, hijinks ensue."
Willow: "It's good you guys have such an honest relationship."
Buffy: "Are you all right?"
Faith: "Five by five. That's the thing about a coma, you come out all rested and rejuvenated... And ready for pay back."
Buffy: "Not here. Not now. These are innocent people."
Faith: "No such animal."
Faith: "You took my life, B. Payback's a bitch."
Willow: "Look who's talking."
Faith: "See ya round."
Willow: "Thanks again for coming with. Hunting a sociopath super-bitch is definitely in the 'above and beyond' department."
Tara: "It's okay. Really. So, um, what do we do if we find her?"
Willow: "Run. Flee. Maybe skedaddle. We're not here to engage. This is strictly recon."
Willow: "Well, technically, Faith's not a monster, and as for fighting? I'd be lucky if I bruise her fist with my face."
Willow: "Don't worry we're sure to spot her first. Faith's like some big cleavage-y slutbomb walking around all... "Check me out, I'm wicked cool, I'm five-by-five".
Tara: "'Five-by-five?' Five-by-five what?"
Willow: "That's the thing - no one knows. Buffy can handle Faith. And you're plenty safe with me."
Tara: "So... we 'recon' til nightfall?"
Willow: "Then the ritual hiding begins."
Spike: "This bird after you?"
Xander: "In a bad way, yeah."
Spike: "Tell you what I'll do, then. Head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where all of you are, and then watch as she kills you. Can't anyone in your damned little Scoobie Club at least try to remember that I HATE YOU ALL?!? And just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way. And here I thought my evening'd be dull."
Xander: "Go ahead - you wouldn't even recognize her."
Spike: "Dark hair, this tall, name of Faith, criminally insane - I like this girl already."
Xander: "We're dumb."
Faith: "'Ruby Sunset'... 'Burgundy Skyline'... 'Harlot'. Huh. Way to go, Joyce."
Faith: "Okay: How do I look?"
Joyce: "Psychotic."
Faith: "I was shooting for 'sultry', but hey."
Faith: "Thought I'd go after the clean marine, didn't you? He's a cutie. Looks like he could use a good roll in the sack..."
Buffy: "You're not his type. He's not big on sleeze."
Faith: "He's probably just never tried it."
Joyce: "You sure you're all right?"
Buffy: "Five-by-five."