The Yoko Factor
Ward: "The incident with Finn was unfortunate..."
McNamara: "Fell in with the bad crowd. Quite frankly, I don't think he was ever the soldier you all hoped he was. Boy thinks too much."
Ward: "Yes, Buffy Summers. Our databanks don't have very much on her."
McNamara: "She's just a girl."
Spike: "She's a lot more than that. The Slayer's dangerous, is all I'm saying."
Adam: "Yes, she makes things interesting."
Spike: "Just wanted you to know, when the Big Ugly goes down, Slayer's gonna be right in the thick of it. You ready for that?"
Adam: "I'm counting on it."
Spike: "Yeah, I killed the hell out of em."
Adam: "Yet you fear this one."
Spike: "Watch it, mate. I don't fear anything. I just know my enemies."
Adam: "Do you? Then why haven't you killed this slayer yet?"
Spike: "Because... Stinking rotten luck is why."
Adam: "You feel smothered. Trapped like an animal, pure in its ferocity, unable to actualize the urges within... Clinging to one truth like a flame struggling to burn within an enclosed glass... That a beast this powerful cannot be contained. Inevitably it will break free and savage the land again... I will make you whole again. Make you savage."
Spike: "Yeah, that's a plan. She's working solo, she won't have a chance to come after us whe the wild rumpus begins. Plus it'll make her miserable, and I never get tired of that."
Xander: "Try those on, you'll feel like a new man."
Riley: "Would this man have a bright red nose and big floppy feet?"
Riley: "I take it you're not an Angel fan, either."
Xander: "It's not like I hate the guy. Just, you know, the guts part of him."
Xander: "Hey, but that's ancient history, buddy."
Riley: "And she went running up to L.A. to bone up on her history."
Xander: "No, I'm sure it's boneless."
Giles: "I am her Watcher."
Spike: "Think you're neglecting the past tense there, Rupert. Besides, she barely listened when you were in charge. I've seen the way she treats you."
Giles: "Yes? A-and how's that?"
Spike: "Very much like a retired librarian."
Willow: "I keep thinking, okay, that's the cutest thing ever, and then she does something cuter and completely resets the whole scale."
Tara: "Did you see her yawn earlier?"
Willow: "Yes! I thought I was going to die. I love you, Miss Kitty Fantastico."
Tara: "We've got to get her a real name."
Willow: "It's so cool she's all ours -- yours. That she's yours is cool."
Tara: "She can be ours if you want."
Riley: "Hi. I got a little tired of sitting around waiting, so..."
Buffy: "...you joined the circus?"
Riley: "Xander took my clothes to clean em. Left me these. Does he hate me in some way I don't know about yet? I tink I would've attracted less attention in my uniform."
Riley: "It's the pants, isn't it? It's okay. I couldn't take me seriously in these things either."
Spike: "Gotta say, liking this quite a lot. Kind of changes the balance of pow-ARRR! Come on, you've got to be kidding!"
Anya: "Wow. The chip in your head means you can't even point a gun. How humiliating."
Xander: "Gun doens't work anyway. It's a fake."
Anya: "Can't even point a decorative gun."
Xander: "Give it up for American chipmanship."
Xander: "Boot camp? Yeah, like I'd go there."
Spike: "Oh, you changed your mind? Not gonna join?"
Anya: "You're joining the army?!
* Smacks him on the arm *
Xander: "Okay, one: ow. Two. Where'd you get that idea? And three: Ow! I am not joining the army."
Anya: "Well, good. Stopped that nonsense just in time."
Xander: "All I can... can you believe that? Like I'm some useless lunk. It happens that I'm good at lots of things! I help with all kinds of... stuff... I have... skills, and strategems, I'm very... Help me out."
Anya: "He's a viking in the sack."
Spike: "T'rific."
Xander: "I'm the one working hard to earn a living an it's a huge joke to them. 'Xander got fired from Starbucks'. 'Xander got fired from the phone sex place...'"
Anya: "They look down on you."
Xander: "And they hate you..."
Anya: "But they don't look down on me."
Tara: "It looks like gibberish."
Spike: "Gibberish?"
Tara: "Or possibly gobbledygook. It's not words, anyway..."
Willow: "They're encrypted."
Willow: "Crack a government encryption code on my laptop? Easy as really difficult pie."
Spike: "You're not exactly the whis these days either. God, I'm never getting paid."
Willow: "I am a whiz!"
Tara: "She is a whiz."
Willow: "If ever a whiz there was... I just need some time."
Riley: "Way I heard it, you were all peaceable now. You didn't by any chance to and lose that pesky soul again, did you?"
Angel: "Don't push me, boy."
Riley: "Now what could possibly have happened with Buffy that would make you lose your soul?"
Angel: "That's be between me and her."
Buffy: "Want to tell me who ran you into that doorknob?"
Angel: "Not really. It's not world in peril stuff."
Angel: "No. It was an accident -"
Buffy: "Running your car into a tree is an accident. Running your fist into somebody's face is a plan. You wanna explain this to me?"
Angel: "You actually sleep with this guy?"
Buffy: "That's enough! I see any more displays of testosterone poisoning, I will personally put you both in the hospital. Anybody think I'm exaggerating?"
Angel: "He started it --"
Buffy: "NNH!"
Riley: "I'm not leaving this room. I mean it."
Buffy: "Okay."
* Buffy and Angel walk out *
Riley: "Not moving a muscle..."
Buffy: "What the hell are you trying to do?"
Angel: "I was trying to make things better. It's going pretty well, don't you think?"
Buffy: "Swell. Although you might want to think about fire. Burning things - always effective."
Angel: "I couldn't leave it like that. The way I spoke to you... I came to apologize. I had no right."
Buffy: "Look, I... you weren't entirely wrong, what you said in L.A. We don't live in each other's worlds anymore. I can't just barge in on yours and make judgements."
Angel: "I'm still sorry."
Buffy: "Thank you."
Angel: "And next time I'll apologize by phone."
Angel: "Oh. And... Riley?"
Buffy: "Yeah."
Angel: "I don't like him."
Buffy: "Thanks."
Spike: "Feel it in my bones. It's... called the Yoko factor. Don't tell me you never heard of The Beatles?"
Adam: "I have. I like Helter Skelter."
Spike: "What a surprise. Point is, they were once a real, powerful group. Not a stretch to say they ruled the world. And when they broke up, everyone blamed Yoko. But the fact is, the group split itself apart. She just happened to be there."
Riley: "I don't know. Xander said-"
Buffy: "Xander. He is the deadest man in Deadonia-"
Riley: "No. It wasn't his fault. I prodded and he explained how Angel went bad. The trigger -"
Buffy: "Oh."
Buffy: "He wasn't bad."
Riley: "Seriously? That's a good day? Well there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mr. Billowy Coat King of Pain and girls really -"
Buffy: "Riley. Stop."
Riley: "See? Nuts."
Buffy: "Okay. So how long before you... uncrypt it?"
Willow: "Hours. Days, maybe. Anyone suggesting months would not be accused of crazy talk."
Giles: "Whatever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the church approved."
Giles: "You never train with me anymore. Adam's gonna kick your ass."
Buffy: "Giles?!"
Giles: "Sorry! Didn't mean to be so honest. Terribly sorry."
Willow: "Besides - when is there any 'us two'? You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other."
Buffy: "Are you drunk?"
Giles: "Quite a bit, actually!"
Buffy: "Well, stop it. This is stupid."
Xander: "Stupid. So you finally have the guts to say it to may face..."
Buffy: "I don't think you're stupid, Xander, so stop being an idiot and help me fix things. I need both of you."
Buffy: "And you got the witch-stuff... that's..."
Willow: "Witch stuff?! What do you mean by witch stuff?!"
Buffy: "What is happening? This is crazy."
Giles: "No it's not! It's all finally making perfect sense and I'm not going to miss a moment of it."
Tara: "You think this'll go on awhile?"
Anya: "Hard to say."
Tara: "Nice bathroom."
Anya: "Like the tile."
Buffy: "Judgemental? If I was any more open minded about the choices you two make my whole brain would fall out."
Xander: "Oh. And superior. Don't forget that. Just because you're better than us doesn't mean you can be all superior."
Willow: "Buffy, things haven't been right since Tara. We have to fact it. You can't handle Tara being my girlfriend."
Xander: "No, it was bad before that. Since you two went off to college and forgot about me, just left me in the basement to -- Tara's your girlfriend?"
Giles: "Bloody hell!"
Buffy: "No. You said you wanted to go. So let's go. All of us. We'll walk into that cave with you two attacking me and the funny drunk drooling on my shoes. Maybe that's the secret way to kill Adam."
Xander: "Buffy --"
Buffy: "Is that it? Is that how you can help? You're not answering. Go on. How can you possibly help? So I guess I'm on my own. And you know what? I'm starting to get why there's no ancient prophecy about a Chosen one and her Friends."
Adam: "I've been waiting for you."
Riley: "And now I'm here."