The Initiative
Forrest: "Oh... Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?"
Riley: "She's Buffy."
Forrest: "Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's Buffy."
Riley: "It's her name, Forrest."
Riley: "She's all right, I guess. She's just kind of... I don't know. Peculiar."
Riley: "There's definitely something off about her."
Graham: "Maybe she's Canadian."
Xander: "The latest in fall fascism. I like it. A bit full in the hips for my taste, but--"
Giles: "Oh, I think we can safely assume they're human, so, um, no research needed."
Xander: "No studying? Damn! Next thing they'll tell me is I'll have to eat jelly doughnuts or sleep with a supermodel to get things done around here. I as you, how much can one man give?"
Giles: "Not too much, I'm afraid. Um... Once again I'd say that you and I will not be neede to help Buffy."
Xander: "Really?"
Giles: "Really."
Xander: "Well, how about this? We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient, unstoppable evil. Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem. We show up and kick its ass."
Giles: "Wee bit unethical."
Spike: "And, uh, they are? The government? Nazis? A major cosmetics company?"
Spike: "I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding."
Buffy: "Stupid pen. My notes!"
Willow: "Ballpoints can be tricky."
Maggie: "You know the rules, you know I hate exceptions, and yet somehow you feel your exception is exceptional."
Willow: "Oh, but--"
Maggie: "It is. To you. But since I'm neither a freshman nor a narcissit, I have to consider the whole class. If your friend can't respect my schedule, I think it's best he not come back."
Buffy: "You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some."
Maggie: "It's not my job to coddle my students."
Buffy: "You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job."
Maggie: "I like her."
Riley: "Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?"
Xander's Mom: "I made up a nice fruit punch for you and your friend. Would you boys like some?"
Giles: "Is it, uh, raspberry fruit punch?"
Riley: "So, you... You knew that I had feelings for her."
Forrest: "Everybody knows, man. Oh, she's peculiar? Dead giveaway, buddy."
Riley: "I'm always the last to know."
Spike: "Sorry, can't stay. Got to go see a girl."
Willow: "Okay, say that I help, and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like Buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition."
Riley: "Yep, that's the plan."
Willow: "I figured it was."
Riley: "Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face."
Willow: "I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars."
Willow: "She likes cheese."
Riley: "What?"
Willow: "Well, I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... She likes cheese."
Riley: "That's a start."
Willow: "She has a stuffed piggy named Mr. Gordo, loves ice capades without the irony, and she's dragging me to this party tonight at Lowell House."
Harmony: "Spikey. Let's leave the slayer alone. You know she'll only slap you around, and I can do that."
Xander: "Every man faces this moment. Here. Now. Watching. Waiting. For an unseen enemy that has no face. Nerve endings screaming in silence. Never knowing which thought might be your last."
Giles: "Oh, shut up."
Riley: "So what do I do?"
Willow: "Ask her to dance."
Riley: "Right. Dance. Wait. No."
Willow: "What's the matter?"
Riley: "I can't dance."
Willow: "Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun."
Xander: "Ow!"
Harmony: "Ow! You sissy kicker!"
Riley: "I can't believe I choked."
Willow: "You really, really did."
Riley: "You don't understand. I'm good at things. That's what I do. Work hard, apply myself, get it done."
Willow: "Well, you failed extremely well."
Riley: "That's a great comfort to me."
Xander: "Buffy! I've been looking all over for you. We need... Need to talk, uh, not here. It's sort of... Unfinsihed business."
Buffy: "Business? Right. Uh, excuse us?"
Riley: "No problem."
Forrest: "Denied."
Riley: "It's not like she blew me off. She just left with another guy, that's all."
Forrest: "We need you downstairs, anyway. You know, I hate to say it, but they're probably on their way to make crazy naked sex."
Riley: "Is that necessary."
Maggie: "Gentlemen, suit up. We have a code red. Hostiel 17 has escaped."
Riley: "Well, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you after the party. You left so fast. You know, with your friend... Who's a boy."
Buffy: "Uh, Xander? He's not anyone that I... Want to talk about, right now. Um... You know, I don't want you taking this the wrong way... It's just, um... I need a little alone time now... Alone."
Riley: "Why?"
Buffy: "I need space."
Riley: "We're outdoors."
Buffy: "Emotionally. I mean, emotionally..."
Spike: "I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before."
Willow: "Maybe you were nervous."
Spike: "I felt all right when I started. Let's try again. Ow! Oh! Ow! Damn it!"
Willow: "Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?"
Spike: "Not to me, it doesn't!"
Willow: "It's me, isn't it?"
Spike: "What are you talking about?"
Willow: "Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I--I... You didn't want to bite me. I just happened to be around."
Spike: "Piffle!"
Willow: "I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, 'ooh, you're like a sister to me', or 'oh, you're such a good friend'."
Spike: "Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat."
Willow: "Really?"
Spike: "Thought about it."
Willow: "When?"
Spike: "Remember last year, you had on that... fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?"
Willow: "I never would have guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool."
Spike: "Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fang-y and 'rrr!' Takes the mystery out."
Willow:"But if you could..."
Spike: "If I could, yeah."
Willow: "You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying."
Spike: "Don't patronize me."
Riley: "The implant works. Hostile 17 can't harm any living creature. In any way, without intense neurological pain. We'll bag it."
Buffy: "You wanted to tell me something?"
Riley: "Oh, yeah. Very important stuff. I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved. Did Willow tell you I like cheese?"
Buffy: "You're a little peculiar."
Riley: "I can live with that."