Buffy: "And they say one person can't make a difference."

Anya: "Look at him. Have you ever seen anything so masculine?"
Buffy: "You mean Guerrero or his wife?"
Willow: "I think she means..."
* points to Xander *
Buffy: "Oh. Very manly. Not at all village people. So much sexier than the outfit from his last job."
Willow: "Oh, I miss the free hot dogs on sticks."
Anya: "I'm imagining having sex with him right now."

Willow: "Thanksgiving isn't about the blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part where, with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach."

Buffy: "With Mom at Aunt Darlene's this year, I'm not getting a Thanksgiving. Maybe it's just as well."
Anya: "Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice."
Buffy: "It's not really a one of those."
Anya: "To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice, with pie."

Anya: "Look at him."
Willow: "Very... Diggy."
Anya: "Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having sex with him again."
Buffy: "Imaginary Xander is quite the machine."

Buffy: "A lost mission. I mean, a hairbrush I can understand. And by the way, I will find that and get that back to you. But now do you lose a mission?"
Willow: "Huge earthquake in 1812. Everyone just assumed the mission was leveled. Instead, they built right over it. It's like what happened in the thrities with that church the Master was in. Doesn't it make you wonder what else is there, like, right under our feet?"
Buffy: "Mostly, I've just found sewers full of demons."

Willow: "Hmmm, it's a turvy-topsy world."

Willow: "Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death."
Buffy: "It is a sham, but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham."
Willow: "You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one."

Anya: "I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was a vengeance demon, and you look like you're getting all of them."
Xander: "Okay. I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it."
Anya: "We'll die together. It's romantic. Let me get your trouser off."
Xander: "You're a strange girlfriend."
Anya: "I'm a girlfriend?"
Xander: "Uh... There's a chance I'm delirious."

Buffy: "I thought I was going to have to use slayer moves on this one woman who was completely hoarding the pumpkin pie filling."

Buffy: "Do you even own a turkey pan?"

Giles: "Where are you going?"
Angel: "To watch her."
Giles: "It's not fair. You know that's what she'd say. You can see her, but she can't see you?"
Angel: "Believe me, I'm not getting the good half of this deal. To be on the outside looking in at what I can't... Well, I'd forgotten how bad it feels."

Willow: "Look, they're selling coffee in the coffee shop. Yum. Oh! Angel -- evil! You're all evil again."
Angel: "I'm not evil. I'm here to help Buffy."

Willow: "Hey, is Cordelia really working for you? Cause that's gotta be a special experience. Of all the people you could've hired."

Riley: "What's the line? Home's the place that, when you have to go there..."
Buffy: "They have to take you in."

Buffy: "We don't say 'indian'."
Giles: "Oh, right. Yes, yes. Um, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials'."

Buffy: "We need to boil those and put them through the ricer."
Giles: "I don't think I have a ricer."
Buffy: "You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?"
Giles: "Well, do you have one at home?"
Buffy: "I don't know. What's a ricer?"
Giles: "We'll mash them with forks, much like the pligrims must have."

Buffy: "You said you were going to get fresh ones."
Willow: "Atrocities?"
Buffy: "Peas. They come in little pods. You were going to shell them."
Willow: "I didn't have time. I was busy reading about the chumash war."
Giles: "The chumash were peaceful."
Willow: "Oh, they were peaceful, all right. They were fluffy indigenous kittens, till we came along."
Buffy: "They're gonna be mushy."
Willow: "They won't be mushy."
Giles: "I like mushy peas."
Buffy: "You're the reason we had to have pilgrims in the first place. So what happened to the chumash?"

Giles: "He's recreating all the wrongs done to his people. And it's up to us to stop him."
Buffy: "Yes, but after dinner, right?"

Willow: "I don't think you wanna help. I think you just wanna slay the demon, then go -- La la la."

Buffy: "I have to baste."

Willow: "You mean...Angel? I saw him, too."
Giles: "That's not terribly stealthy of him."
Willow: "I think he's lost his edge."
Giles: "But Buffy doesn't know."
Willow: "Oh, no, not a peep."
Giles: "Well, that's good, but this is why I think we should all keep a level head in this."
Willow: "And I happen to think mine is the level head, and yours is the one things would roll off of."

Giles: "Xander. You look like death."
Willow: "Are you okay?"
Buffy: "You didn't bring rolls?"

Xander: "Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis?"
Anya: "It'll make you blind and insane, but it won't kill you. The smallpox will."
Willow: "Maybe there's a wiccan spell that can cure it. Something regular medicine doesn't know. Oooh, there was a potion. Sage, salt... onion?"
Buffy: "That's the stuffing."
Xander: "Oh, god."
Anya: "Uh, you're gonna get vesicles and pustules. They have pictures."
Xander: "I hate this guy."
Willow: "He's just doing what was done to him."
Xander: "I didn't give him syphilis."

Xander: "Slaying him? The representative from syphilis votes yea."
Willow: "It's not that simple."
Xander: "He's a vengeance demon. You don't talk to vengeance demons. You kill them."
Anya: "I didn't know you felt that way."
Xander: "What?"

Anya: "Sometimes vengeance is justified."
Xander: "You know that I didn't mean you."
Willow: "I don't think anyone appreciates the truth of the situation."
Giles: "Oh, I think we do."
Buffy: "This is no good! It needs more condensed milk."

Giles: "Hus won't stop. Vengeance is never sated, Buffy. Hatred is a cycle. All he will do is kill."

Willow: "You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy."
Spike: "Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you."
Willow: "It's true. He had trouble performing."
Spike: "Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good. Um..."
Buffy: "What are you saying?"
Spike: "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people."

Spike: "Ggrrr. Bloody hell, woman. You're cutting off my circulation."
Buffy: "You don't have any circulation."
Spike: "Well, it pinches."

Buffy: "Will, anything in those books about how to stop a native american spirit guy? Some nice, non-judgemental way to, you know, kill him?"

Spike: "Oh, someone put a stake in me."
Xander: "You've got a lot of volunteers in here."
Spike: "I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody indians."
Buffy: "Uh, the preferred term--"
Spike: "You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Ceasar did, and he's not going around saying, 'I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it'. The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story."

Willow: "If we could talk to him--"
Spike: "You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick."
Xander: "Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... Some of that made sense."

Buffy: "You can have gravy. That has blood in it, right?"
Spike: "Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood?"

Anya: "Well that was a waste of time."
Xander: "I think he thought we were crazy."
Willow: "Maybe if Anya hadn't opened the conversation with, 'Everybody got both ears'?"
Anya: "I liked his wife. She gave me pie."

Anya: "So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?"
Xander: "He's evil again."
Angel: "I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?"
Willow: "Angel's here to protect Buffy."
Angel: "I haven't been evil for a long time."
Willow: "She's not supposed to know he's here."

Willow: "Why... Don't... You... Die?!'
* Angel snaps the Indian's neck *
Anya: "What's he like when he is evil?"

Buffy: "A bear!"
Spike: "You made a bear!"
Buffy: "I didn't mean to."
Spike: "Undo it! Undo it!"

Spike: "What happened? Did we win?"

Willow: "It's just... Did you see me? Two seconds of conflict with an indigenous person, and I turned into General Custer."
Giles: "Violence does that. Instince takes over."
Spike: "Yeah, that's the fun."
Buffy: "Nobody asked you."

Xander: "And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up."
Buffy: "And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it."
Willow: "Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year. Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old time."
Xander: "Yeah, especially with Angel being here and everything... Oops."

Episode Guide: Pangs

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- - last updated: 5-21-02 - -