Fred: You sure that's a good idea - playing chicken with the district attorney of a major metropolitan city?
Gunn: Just a little professional rivalry. You want ugly, see us go at it on a golf course.
Fred: You play golf? Since - what?
Gunn: All part of the mojo the big boys installed. Half of the cases that cross our desk are settled out on the links before they ever make it to trial.
Fred: Nine holes instead of a jury of your peets. Just what the founding fathers had in mind.
Gunn: Well, sometimes you gotta work the system before it works you.
Fred: That's our new motto?
Angel: Maybe we made a mistake coming here.
Angel: I think I liked you better when you just wanted to hit people.
Gunn: Rational thought - it's an acquired taste.
Harmony: Boss, we just got a tip some looney's hatched from the bin.
Angel: A who did a what?
Harmony: A girl over in the nuthouse went all Cuckoo's Nest hacked up a couple of guards and went over the wall.
Angel: Really not our department, Harmony.
Wes: Notify the authorities. Make sure they're on it.
Harmony: Okay, but they better bring a priest. Looks like this chick's gone all kinds of exorcist.
Angel: Wait a minute. She's possessed?
Harmony: Duh! Didn't I say that?
Angel: What are you doing here, Spike?
Spike: Didn't get the memo? Hero of the people now.
Angel: Oh, then go and annoy them.
Angel: Look, shouldn't you be out in the streets, you know, protecting the city from people like you?
Spike: Go where I'm needed.
Angel: Which isn't here.
Spike: What he said. But with a bit more of a threat at the end.
Spike: You can hang out for the show-and-tell-me-nothing. I got a demon needs repossesing... Ta.
Angel: Sorry. He's... is pathological idiot an actual condition?
Rabinaw: May I suggest that you stop your friend? If he finds Dana, he's gonna end up dead like the others.
Angel: Yeah, but he'll just end up comin back.
Nurse: They're pretty much all like that. Bunch of monkey gibberish.
Angel: It's Romanian.
Nurse: Oh. You... you understand what she's saying?
Angel: Yeah. I do.
Angel: That's not what's happening. Look, there were drawings of demons in her room. Hundreds of them. Some with a little girl in them. I thought it was Dana, but they're all different. It's not her.
Wes: Are you sure? Multiple personality manifestations are often associated with cases of possession.
Angel: Look, it's not just the drawings. I saw a tape of her. She was speakin a half-dozen languages. One of em was Romanian.
Spike: Likin the view, are we? What say we have a nice, quiet chat... about mistreating little girls... demon to demon.
Angel: She was yelling about being chosen. She's not a demon, Wes. She's a vampire slayer.
Spike: Sorry, luv. I don't speak Chinese.
Angel: What happened?
Spike: Oh, I just thought I'd see what it was like to bounce off the pavement. Pretty much what I expected.
Spike: A psychotic vampire slayer.
Angel: How many times you gonna keep sayin that?
Spike: Just tryin to wrap my lobes around it. A psycho slayer.
Angel: You're not handling anything, Spike. Okay? Wes contacted Rupert Giles. He's sendin his top guy to retrieve her.
Wes: Angel. We were just about to-
Spike: Oh, for the love of-
Andrew: Spike?... It's you. It's really you!... My therapist thought I was holding onto false hope, but... I knew you'd come back... You're like... you're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever... Ohh... he's alive, Frodo... He's alive.
Angel: You two know each other?
Andrew: Uh, yeah. Um... We-we saved the world together. I mean, Buffy helped, but... it was mostly us.
Andrew: Gather around and attend to a most unusual tale... a tale I like to call... The Slayers of the Vampyrs... Eons ago, on the dark continent, three wise elders decided to fight evil with a taste of its own sinistro. They took a young girl, and they imbued her with the power of a demon. Thusly, the first Slayer of the Vampyrs was born. But alas, the existence of a slayer is often brutal and short-lived. And the 'primitive,' as she was called, boasted no exception. But... the elders had foreseen this inevitability and... and devised a way for her power to live on.
Fred: In every generation, one is chosen.
Andrew: Yes, attractive, slender woman... There are many potentials, as we experts call them.
Wes: Hundreds... maybe thousands per generation.
Andrew: Each of them experiencing vivid dreams... some say nightmares... of the heroics of past slayers. But only one can be chosen.
Angel: That's, um... really great, but we... actually know all that.
Andrew: You think you know, my good man. You think you know.
Angel: All the potentials become slayers.
Wes: An army of slayers. Brilliant stratagem. But with the watchers council destroyed, how will these new slayers receive their necessary-
Andrew: Mr. Giles and a few key Sunnydale alum have been tracking down the recently chosen... uh, guiding them, training them... giving them the full X-Men, minus the crappy third act. But this Dana girl - she's an anomaly that no one could have forseen - tortured, traumatized... driven insane by Yoda knows who.
Angel: You mean the slayer you murdered.
Spike: Well, I didn't have a soul back then, did I?
Angel: Right, cause having one now is making such a difference.
Angel: Spike? You think this is a joke?
Spike: Only if you're the punch line.
Angel: She exists for one reason - to destroy creatures like us.
Spike: Dance of death. Eternal struggle. Right. Got it.
Angel: You will... when she's staking you in the heart.
Spike: What do you want me to do? Go all boo-hoo cause she got tortured and driven out of her gourd? Not like we haven't done worse back in the day.
Angel: Yeah, and it's something I'm still payin for.
Spike: And you should let it go, mate. It's startin to make you look old.
Lorne: Houses have long memories, Angel cakes. You just gotta know how to get em to talk.
Angel: All right. Fine. Set it up. But let's get Andrew in on this, see if he knows... anything.
Spike: We can play cat and mouse all night... Or I could wedgie you unconscious and be done with it.
Andrew: Bravo. I see your senses seem to be as well-honed as your Viggo Mortensen pectorals.
Andrew: You're not the only one who's changed. Mr. Giles has been training me. I'm faster, stronger and 82% more manly than the last time we-
Angel: What are you pickin up?
Psychic: Fear... Anguish... Pain... He needed them to suffer.
Psychic: She doesn't know him... She tries to be still... invisible... but he senses her... She's gone.
Angel: Where? Where did he take her?
Psychic: Dark. The floor is cold. The air is thick with... Dust... And the smell... sickly sweet, like... molasses... A basement... That's where her pain lives.
Andrew: Well, mostly I talk to Rupert. But we all check in. Xander's in Africa. He sent me a mbuna fish. And Willow and Kennedy are in Brazil. They're based i Sao Paulo, but, um, every time I talk to them, they're in Rio.
Andrew: What's it smell like? Blood, I mean?
Spike: Oh... metallic, sorta. You ever taste a penny?
Spike: So, uh... you heard from Buffy lately?
Andrew: Yeah. Of course, uh... she's in Rome. Dawn's in school there. Italian school.
Spike: Well. Rome, eh? Never pegged her for the expatriate show.
Andrew: Yeah. She was rounding slayers up in Europe, decided she like it there, i guess. You think thaat, um... uhh. Uhh. Uhh... Think she needed a break from California. Wait a minute. She doesn't know you're alive, does she?
Spike: I don't think so. I mean... I don't know. Does she?
Andrew: No. N-no. She can't. I mean... I-I would've heard about it. We would've had a conference call. Why haven't you told her?
Spike: 'Hello, Buffy. It's Spike. I didn't burn up like you thought. How are things?'
Andrew: Uh... do you want me to tell her? Cause I-I'm really good with those... uh, delicate personal-
Spike: No. Don't tell her. I'll take care of it.
Angel: Search her files. Talk to her contacts. Raise the dead, if you have to. Just... find him... Lorne, I want to know where he took her after he abducted her. The psychic narrowed it down to a basement that smells like molasses. Look, we can do better. Start crackin the whip.
Lorne: You got it, chief... Danny! We're gonna need a whip!
Spike: Blood. Smells different. Stronger.
Andrew: Like nickels?
Dana: No escaping.
Spike: That's right. No escaping. Now, all the same... don't wanna have to hurt you.
Dana: Doesn't hurt if you hold still.
Dana: Heart... and head. Have to get home. Doesn't hurt if you hold still.
Spike: You're a real sack of hammers, aren't you? Hey... don't worry. I used to date a girl who wasn't all there.
Dana: Heart... and head. Stab the heart, cut off the head. Only way to be sure.
Spike: That's slayer talk, isn't it?
Dana: Keep cutting till you see dust.
Dana: Don't cry. They can't hear you.
Wes: What about... I almost said the words 'molasses factory' out loud.
Dana: Piece... by piece.
Spike: What's you do...
Dana: Shh! Stay quiet. I'll let you go.
Spike: You're homicidal. What did you do... to me?
Dana: Losing all your pieces. Not weak... Can't touch me anymore.
Andrew: That's all right, boys. I'll take it from here.
Andrew: Totally preciate your help on this one, big guy. Never could've found her without you, but you got enough problems of your own to worry about.
Angel: Get outta the way, Andrew.
Andrew: She's a slayer. That means she's ours.
Andrew: Check the view screen, Uhura. I got 12 Vampyr Slayers behind me, and not one of them has ever dated you. She's coming with us one way or another.
Angel: You're way outta your league. I'll just clear this with Buffy.
Andrew: Where do you think my orders came from? News flash - nobody in our camp trusts you anymore. Nobody. You work for Wolfram & Hart. Don't fool yourself... we're not on the same side. Thank you for you help... but, uh... we got it.
Angel: A lot of pain?
Spike: More than I'd like. But not as much as you would. Just what I deserve.
Spike: I'm not sayin you're right... cause, uh... I'm physically incapable of saying that. But, uh... for a demon... I never did think that much about the nature of evil. No. Just threw myself in. Thought it was a party. I liked the rush. I liked the crunch. Never did look back at the victims.
Angel: I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in in for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art. The destruction of a human being. I would've considered Dana a masterpiece.
Spike: What happens to her?
Angel: I don't know. Um, Andrew and the slayers took her. Didn't trust us to help her.
Spike: Andrew double-crossed us? That's a good move. Hope for the little ponce yet. Though the tingling in my forearms tells me she's too far gone to help. She's one of us now. She's a monster.
Angel: She's an innocent victim.
Spike: So were we... once upon a time.
Angel: Once upon a time.