A Hole in the World
Roger: I don't see why it has to be this way. There are plenty of good schools in the area.
Fred: I know. And I have a nice room and I could meet a nice boy and we could get married and live in my nice room-
Trish: Well, he's have to be a smallish fella.
Fred: -and we could have sweet little babies that could sleep in the drawer.
Roger: I do not see a downside to this plan.
Roger: That's where she's going: Hell A.
Fred: It's Los Angeles, the City of Angels, remember?
Roger: And if you meet one angel there, I'll eat the dogs. A bunch of junkies and spoiled movie actors - that's who you're gonna meet.
Fred: In the graduate physics program at UCLA?
Roger: You don't know.
Roger: I slept in a drawer til I was three. Didn't stunt me none.
Fred: Feigenbaum... I can't make the trip without Feigenbaum.
Trish: He doesn't quite look up to it.
Fred: Hush. He's the master of chaos. He'll love LA - all my junkie, movie-actor friends.
Trish: Don't you joke.
Fred: I'm gonna learn every damn thing they know up there, and then figure out some stuff they don't. And I'll be careful. I'll even be dull, boring. Cross my heart.
Spike: Fuss, fuss. The thing was about to strike. It was on your back. What was I supposed to do?
Angel: Ask me to turn around.
Spike: Heat of battle. There wasn't time.
Angel: You just like stabbing me.
Spike: I-I'm shocked - shocked that you'd say that. I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.
Gunn: Fred and I are getting back together... She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up talking for hours like old times, then, all of a sudd - I can't keep this up cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin with you.
Wes: I - Oh... No, I...
Gunn: Come on. Brother gets a dig in. That's my right.
Gunn: No secrets in the House of Pain.
Gunn: It's cool. Our thing's long done, and I know how you feel about her.
Wes: Thank you.
Gunn: And to address the necessary boilerplate, you ever hurt her, I'm gonna kill ya like a chicken.
Wes: Acceptable terms.
Spike: I am talking about something primal. Right? Savagery. Brutal animal instince.
Angel: And that wins out every time with you. You know, the human race has evolved, Spike!
Spike: Oh, into a bunch of namby-pamby, self-analyzing wankers who could never hope to-
Angel: We're bigger. We're smarter. Plus, there's a thing called teamwork, not to mention the superstitious terror of your pure aggressors!
Spike: You just want it to be the way you want it to be.
Angel: It's not about what I want!
Wes: Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?
Angel: No.
Wes: It just... sounds a little serious.
Angel: It was mostly... theoretical. We...
Spike: We were just working out a b - Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wes: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this?... Do the astronauts have weapons?
Angel/Spike: No.
Knox: I couldn't find any invoice on it. I thought maybe you went crazy on eBay.
Fred: No. No eBay... After that commemorative plate incident, I'm living clean.
Knox: What happened?
Fred: I don't know. It opened, and there was air.
Knox: Are you okay?
Fred: Uh, I think so. That was odd.
Spike: Harmony just pulled me out of a very promising poker game down in Accounts Receivable, so this better be good... Oh, and by the way, all the guys down there agree that astronauts don't stand a chance against cavemen, so don't even start.
Angel: Look, I can't do this anymore.
Spike: Admitting defeat, are you?
Angel: You and me. This isn't working out.
Spike: Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
Angel: I'm saying you should go.
Spike: You really can't stand the competition, can you?
Spike: I'm not attached... I just don't have anywhere else to go.
Fred: But that doesn't make any sense.
Lorne: I just call it like I see it.
Fred: But the cavemen have fire. That's what they live with in their caves. The astronauts should at least have some sort of weapon.
Lorne: Oh, sheesh. Get a balcony, you two, huh?
Fred: It's my boys. I haven't had this many big, strapping men at my bedside since that night with the varsity lacrosse team... That was a joke.
Fred: Handsome man saves me.
Angel: That's how it works. Let's get crackin.
Angel: Wes and Fred?
Spike: You didn't know?
Angel: I didn't know.
Angel: Her organs are cooking. In a days time, they'll liquefy.
Spike: No. Not this girl. Not this day.
Angel: Look, Wes, you gotta tell me what was in that box. I need a name, a history, anything.
Knox: We can't get it open. Not even the lasers-
Wes: Where did it come from?
Knox: It just showed up. No return address. Didn't recognize the guy who brought it in - come to think of it, in the middle of the night.
Angel: This was deliberate.
Angel: And if there's work to do...
Spike: Let's make it twice as fast.
Lorne: And baby makes three - in case anybody feels like singing.
Gunn: Look, I know there's someone in here, and it ain't just me. I'm not going anywhere til ya - Well, whaddaya know? It is just me.
Conduit as Gunn: You don't want to be here.
Gunn: I never want to be here. What happened to the cat?
Conduit as Gunn: The physical form of the conduit is determined by the viewer.
Gunn: So, I'm looking at me because, what? We gonna play a mirror game? Get our mime on?
Conduit as Gunn: You are failing.
Gunn: I'm not the issue here.
Conduit as Gunn: I believe that you think that.
Gunn: You can't let this happen to Fred.
Conduit as Gunn: This is the part where I need to be clear... I am not your friend. I am not your flunky. I am your conduit to the senior partners, and they are tired of your insolence. Oh, yeah. They are not here for your convenience.
Gunn: I didn't come for a favor. We can make a deal.
Conduit as Gunn: Deals are for the devil.
Gunn: You want someone else - a life for hers - you'll get it. You can have mine.
Conduit as Gunn: I already do.
Eve: Lindsey and I had nothing to do with that. I'm not lying. I-I'm not... Have you... heard from him? About him?
Spike: Oh, this is truly poetical.
Lorne: Here's the thing, Eve: You're going to sing for me, and I'm going to read you right now. And here's one more thing: Winifred Burkle once told me after a sinful amount of Chinese food, and in lieu of absolutely nothing, 'I think a lot of people would choose to be green. Your shade, if they had a choice.' If I hear one note - one quarter-note - that tells me you had any involvement, these two won't even have time to kill you.
Lorne: She's clean.
Angel: You've been wrong before.
Lorne: Yeah, and I might be now, but she reads clean. Her future's not too bright, but...
Eve: What do you mean?
Lorne: Well, nothin's written in stone - lately - but, uh, if I was about to face your future, I'd make like Carmen Miranda... and die.
Eve: If you're talking about a sarcophagus that doesn't match anything in our records... there's nothing that's not in our records except what came before. The old ones.
Angel: The original demons. Before human kind. They were all driven out of this dimension.
Eve: The ones that were still alive. But long before that, they were killing each other all the time, and they don't die the way we do. Wesley may not know it, but his source books can conjure up anything, not just our stock. Tell him to look for the texts that are forgotten, the oldest scrolls. You need to find the Deeper Well.
Wes: It's called Illyria, a great monarch and warrior of the demon age murdered by rivals and left adrift in the Deeper Well.
Angel: Which is what?
Wes: A burial ground, a resting place of all the remaining old ones.
Lorne: If nobody thinks it's too ridiculous, I'm going to pray.
Wes: No, it's appreciated. Time is not on our side.
Spike: Nobody's on our side.
Angel: Come on. Let's save the day.
Wes: You have to lie down.
Fred: I am not - I am not the damsel in distress. I am not some case. I have to work this. I lived in a cave for 5 years in a world where they killed my kind like cattle. I am not going to be cut down by some monster flu. I am better than that!... But I wonder... how very scared I am.
Fred: This is a house of death.
Spike: Back to the mother country. Hey, after we save Fred, we should hit the West End, take in a show.
Angel: I've never seen Les Mis.
Spike: Trust me, half way through the first act, you'll be drinking humans again.
Angel: Can't lose her, Spike.
Spike: We won't.
Angel: I lost Cordy.
Fred: I finally get you up to my bedroom, and all you want to do is read.
Wes: You dozed off. Was I making too much noise?
Fred: Not enough. I need noise to keep me here.
Fred: Oh, isn't it terrible? At a time like this, I'm worried about how crappy I look.
Wes: You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Fred: Do you always like splotchy girls?
Wes: It's my curse.
Wes: She was such a little girl that one did not expect to see such a look on her small face. It would have been an old look for a child of twelve, and Sara Crewe was only seven. The fact was, however, that she was always dreaming and thinking odd things and could not herself remember any time when she had not been thinking things about grown-up people and the world they belonged to. She felt as if she had lived a long, long time.
Spike: When is a door not a door? When it's not soddin-well there.
Angel: Just hold my hand.
Spike: St. Petersburg.
Angel: Thought you'd forgotten.
Knox: And nothing would make me happier than to be the White Knight in this situation and to have her look at me the way that... I mean, I don't just care about Fred, I practically worship it.
Gunn: You said, 'It'.
Knox: What?
Gunn: Not 'her'. You said, 'I worship it'.
Knox: Oops.
Drogyn: Do not ask me a question. If you ever ask me a single question, I will kill you outright. Don't think for a moment that I can't.
Angel: He can. He would.
Spike: Eh?
Drogyn: I just said to you, not one moment ago, don't ask.
Angel: Seriously. He doesn't like questions.
Spike: Why the bloody hell not?
Angel: He can't lie.
Gunn: You did this. You did all of this!
Knox: Technically, that's not the case. I just played my part.
Gunn: Why? You couldn't stand the thought of Wes winning her so you kill her?
Knox: No, I meant everything I said about her. I chose Fred because I love her, because she's worthy. You think I'd have my god hatched out of some schmuck?
Knox: Oh, they're really on track, but it doesn't matter. Angel's not gonna save her.
Gunn: You don't know Angel.
Knox: I'm not being clear. I don't mean that Angel's gonna fail to save her, I mean he's gonna let her die.
Fred: The light... hurts my eyes, but I don't want you to turn it off. But it hurts my eyes. Everything's so bright and hollow. Cave men win. Of course the cave men win.
Drogyn: Illyria was feared and beloved as few are. It was laid to death in the very depths of the well... until it disappeared a month ago.
Spike: Someone took it from under your nose a month ago, and you didn't miss it til now? That makes you quite the crap jailier, doesn't it... Also a statement.
Drogyn: Your friend likes to talk.
Angel: So much, he's even right sometimes. The man I remember couldn't be stolen from so easily.
Drogyn: The tomb was not stolen. It disappeared. I believe it was pre-destined to as part of Illyria's escape plan. And as for my not noticing... well, my charges are not few.
Angel: How far does this go down?
Drogyn: All the way. All the way through the Earth.
Knox: There's only a few of us now. I came to LA because I knew that's where its kingdom has been. It was supposed to teleport back to the base of its power, but the continents drifted - which they do. I had others help me get it here, but then it got stuck in - would you belive it - customs. But you took care of that. You signed the order to bring it into the lab so you could get another brain boost... It's like I said, I'm just one small part of a great machine.
Gunn: Angel's gonna save her.
Knox: What he's fighting against is older than the concept of time. I couldn't stop it. There's nothing left to do now, but wait.
Fred: Oh, God! I've sinned. I've sinned, and I'm being punished. I don't know what's wrong. I never got a B- before.
Spike: Yeah, it's been freed. Why do you think we're here?... And what's your favorite color? What's your favorite song? Who's the goalkeeper for Manchester United? And how many fingers am I holding up?... You wann kill me? Try. But I don't have time for your quirks.
Drogyn: If we bring the sarcophagus back to the well, it will draw Illyria out of your friend... and into every single person between here and there. It will become the mystical equivalent of airborne. It will claw into every soul in its path to keep from being trapped. Entire cities - tens of maybe hundreds of thousands will die in agony if you save her.
Angel: No.
Spike: That's madness.
Drogyn: This is a place of madness. I'll prepare the spell. Your choice.
Angel: To hell with the world.
Fred: My boys. I walk with heroes. Think about that.
Wes: You are one.
Fred: Superhero. And this is my power: to not let them take me. Not me.
Spike: This goes all the way through to the other side. So, I figure, there's a bloke somewhere around New Zealand standing on a bridge like this one, looking back down at us. All the way down. There's a whole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known.
Fred: I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared... Please, Wesley, why can't I stay?
Illyria: This will do.