Girl: But... who are you?
Angel: It doesn't matter.
Notary: This is to confirm that you have been rescued by Angel, CEO and President of Wolfram and Hart, and this is to indemnify Wolfram and Hart-
Lawyer: If we can just get a couple pictures of you two, that would be great... Now, uh, the vampire that you terminated, he actually did work for one of your clients.... So, but, hey! First week, no one will squawk, ok?
Girl: You run a law firm?
Angel: No. I mean... well, sort of... Well, just lately.
Notary: I need you to initial here concering your immortal soul.
Fred: Have you seen my lab? It's giganamous. And I'm in charge.
Wes: I'm sure you'll have no trouble-
Fred: I dont even understand half of what they're doing. There's this machine, six feet tall, it makes this noise - whoompa! Whoompa! Phft! Not a clue.
Wes: Your run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless.
Fred: Oh, that's so sweet. And a tad condescending.
Wes: So, Knox, how long have you been, uh, evil?
Knox: Do you know how to get to your office from here?
Fred: Why, did somebody eat my breadcrumbs?
Lorne: Oh, sweetie, it's perfect! Yes, it's perfect. It's the project you've been waiting for. Yeah, it's Joanie Loves Chachi meets The Sorrow and the Pity. It's Joanie Loves Pity.
Gunn: You lost, boss?
Angel: On a lot of levels.
Angel: You like to make an entrance.
Eve: You always open both doors when you enter a room?... I don't need to make an entrance. I need to make an impression. I'm gonna be your liaison to the firm. I'll help you find your way. My name is Eve.
Angel: Who do you answer to?
Eve: The senior partners, and if you're thinking, which, by the way you are, that you can use me to get to them, let go of the dream. I answer to them. I don't lunch with them.
Wes: Still... a pretty powerful position for a young woman.
Eve: How exactly can you be sure I'm either of those things?
Eve: A lot of our clients are demons, and... almost all of them are evil.
Eve: Things are always more complicated than they seem, champ.
Eve: Lot simpler fighting vamps on the street, wasn't it? Tricked out pickup, loyal gang, just you and the pointy wood against the living dead.
Gunn: This gonna be a thing with you, jumping out at people, or do you just not have an office of your own?
Phone Menu Voice: You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say 'goats'.
Phone Menu Voice: To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound-
Harmony: Hey! Boss.
Angel: You're my secretary?
Harmony: Hello! Assistant.
Angel: Explain why I shouldn't kill you.
Harmony: Secretary's fine.
Harmony: I type like a superhero... if there was a superhero whose power was typing.
Angel: What? I'm not allowed to hit people?
Wes: Not people capable of genocide.
Angel: Those are exactly the types of people I should be allowed to hit!
Angel: "Oh, god, they're so beautiful!
Angel: Hmm. So tell me... why do they call you 'Spanky'?
Spanky: I'm a big Our Gang fan.
Angel: That's what I figured.
Doctor: Not nervous, are we?
Gunn: No. Definitely past nervous here.
Knox: Oh, okay. He was fired. Oh, no, I'm sorry. He was set on fire.
Fred: That's interesting.
Eve: Of course I know. You lost your son. Well, gave him up.
Angel: To save him.
Eve: Which you did. He's happy and well-adjusted now that he has no memory of you, and the rest of the world, including your best friends, never even heard of Connor.
Judge: Another defense lawyer. What a joy.
Judge: The ice is melting counselor.
Gunn: The defense submits it has learned how to swim... I withdraw that statement with apologies.
Angel: Agent Hauser, I'm honestly beginnign to suspect that you're not part of the solution.
Hauser: You really think you can solve the problem? Come into Wolfram and Hart and make everything right? Turn night into glorious day? You pathetic little fairy.
Angel: I'm not little.
Hauser: That's exactly what you are. You're minuscule. A dust mote on the shelf of that great institution. Now, you think I'm just a trigger happy jerk who follow orders, but I am something you will never be. I'm pure. I believe in evil. You and your friends, you're conflicted. You're confused. We're not. That is why you are gonna lose, because we possess the most powerful thing in the world... conviction.
Angel: There is one thing more powerful than conviciton. Just one. Mercy.
Eve: Charles agreed to let us enhance his mind with a comprehensive knowledge of the law.
Wes: Without asking us?
Gunn: Mother, may I?
Eve: I would also point out that he did just save the day without ever resorting to violence... How'd you do?
Fred: Is this gonna be our lives now? Fighting our own employees, our own clients? Are we really gonna do any good?
Angel: Yes, we are. We're gonna change things. We came to Wolfram and Hart because it's a powerful weapon, and we'll figure out how to wield it.
Wes: Or kill ourselves with it.
Fred: Yay, team.
Harmony: Blondie bear?