Life of the Party
Lorne: It'll be fabulous. Believe me, Jerry. Yes. It's Grapes of Wrath in outer space. Uh. huh. Oh, it's got heart. Yes, it's got laser battles. It's got a timely message of interstellar poverty. Uh-huh. Listen, have your assistant call my assistant. We'll set something up. Good enough.
Lorne: Harmonica!
Harmony: Lorney-tunes!
Lorne: Hey, tell me, priceless, where do I find Angel?
Harmony: Just called. He's on his way back in from a field mission, though I wouldn't, if I were you. He sounds like he's in a mood.
Lorne: Oh, don't worry, darlin. I've pulled the big boy out of many a brood-fest. It shouldn't be tha... Eww.
Wes: Angel, how did the new neural-intercept grenade work?
Angel: It didn't.
Angel: Look, Lorne, I've been out all night, okay? I'm beat up, I'm exhausted, I'm covered in head to toe in Thraxis blood, which actually kind of burns, so this is all gonna have to wait until I take a shower.
Lorne: You killed the Thraxis?
Angel: Shower.
Lorne: Hey, Van, look why don't we, uh, scratch the Thraxis off the invite list, and, uoh, hey you got a copy of that print ad we're gonna run this week?
Van: Yes. Right.
Lorne: What is this? 'Wolfram & Hart wants to be up your alley'? Sounds like a bus station pick-up line. Change it. Second thought, burn it.
Lorne's Reflection: Oh, Mr. Smiles. Oh, come on, you can't ignore me forever. Oh, well, fine. Looks like you're gonna have to slap a band-aid on that melon, draw a grin on that bewitching green mug, and go right back out there. On the count of 9, sunshine. 1... 2... 3... The show stops for no demon, Lorne. 4... 5... They're all waiting for you. 6... 7... They're counting on you. 8... comin up on 9. They're gonna eat you up with a spoon because you're so scrumptious!
Lorne: Shut up!
Eve: So, uh, wow. You take a long shower for a guy. Were we having some gentlemen's time?
Angel: Gentlemen's?
Eve: I mean, I understand. You're running the whole circus now, a lot of pressure, especially with your hands-on policy. No pun intended. I'm sure you could use a release.
Angel: Uh... I'll get my pants.
Eve: Not everyone bottles all this stuff up like you.
Angel: I don't bottle.
Eve: You bottle.
Angel: I don't bottle!
Angel: Okay, why does it look like we're having a party in here?
Lorne: Well, maybe cause we're having a party in here.
Lorne: It's not about good and evil. It's about party. Party! Capital 'P'! Rhymes with 'me'? About to have a stroke here cause you're killing me!... Listen. I can see that you're in a state, a mood, a snit even, so what say we talk about this once you've... calmed down a bit?
Lorne: Et tu, Brutuses? Why is it so hard to get anyone to have any fun around here?
Lorne: What did I miss?
Angel: Us. Waiting.
Angel: Milk dud?
Lorne: Said with affection.
Angel: It's a perfect recipe for an out-of-control bloodbath.
Lorne: That's describing every good party I've ever been to.
Harmony: Everybody thinks you suck. Well, come on, boss. They're all out there, sweating through their matsudas, worried if you're gonna axe them or, you know, axe them.
Angel: Okay, look, hey, I haven' okay, look, I may have... killed a couple of them.
Lorne: And several clients... and maybe some potential clients? Why do you think my RSVP list is only a fifth of the size of last year's?
Eve: It's you babe.
Angel: Come on, what, do they think I'm throwing this think so I can slaughter them... Fine. I surrender. Go ahead, Lorne. Put on your best dong and pony.
Angel: I mean, this really matters to you. Personally.
Lorne: Yeah. You know, Angel, I don't have superhuman strength, and I'm not a fighter. Quantum physics make me nauseous, and I barely made a passing grade at mystical studies, but I'm on your team. This is something I can do. I believe it has a purpose that can help you, even if you don't.
Lorne: You just kind of smile and try not to rip anybody apart. Okay?
Sebassis: So... this is the mighty Angel. I've been told many things about you. Bit of a restless frog, hmm? Making lots of waves in your little swamp.
Angel: Yeah, well, I'm just trying to keep the fly population down.
Sebassis: Yes. Though I do prefer the tales of your counterpart Angelus. Ah, you had flair back then, child.
Lawyer #1: Man, this is lame. I mean, where's the ritual sacrifice? How do you get the ball rolling without a ritual sacrifice?
Lorne: Hey there, Devlin. So, uh, what are you supposed to be?
Devlin: You no get? I human bean... Look. I do human bean. Ahem. I proud my honor roll student.
Lorne: So, tell me, that mask, uh,it is rubber right?
Devlin: My other car a Lamborghini.
Angel: Look, Lorne, I have things. I'm busy. I'm brooding.
Lorne: Oh, you're watching hockey!
Angel: Yeah, but my team is losing.
Angel: I thought you hated these kind of things.
Spike: I would've thought the same of you.
Lorne: Oh, no, he's doing great. He's already not killed, like, 100 guests.
Spike: He doesn't have to. Party's already dead.
Lorne: Artode, welcome. Welcome. Love the jacket, by the way.
Artode: It's Pylean.
Lorne: Oh, made in Pylea. Ha. My home dimensin.
Artode: Not made in, made from. I skinned it myself. Anybody you know?
Lorne: I had my sleep removed. Little procedure they have here at the company. Yeah, well, you know, I haven't slept a wink in, oh, about a month.
Gunn: You had Wolfram & Hart remove your sleep?... Lorne... that's great!
Angel: I mean, do you even have a last name?
Eve: Do you?
Fred: Hey, you want a piece of me, buddy? That's right. Keep walking. You walk alone! You walk alone!
Wes: Careful. That thing's loaded.
Fred: So am I. I mean, wow. Wes. Wesley, I am totally drunk-faced.
Spike: Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Hey, kittens. Oh, that dance floor is smoking!... What?
Spike: Hey! Angel's getting some! Good on you, mate.
Angel: Lorne told you to pee all over the office?
Gunn: Lord, I hope so.
Lorne: What does that have to do with it?
Fred: Something, apparently.
Fred: Done and doner.
Spike: Ooh, ooh! Me! Me! I'm your people person.
Angel: And, Eve, you stay here with me, and we'll have more sex.
Eve: I'm on it.
Spike: Brilliant plan. Excellent.
Fred: You know, I think we have pretty interesting lives.
Wes: I'd say that's true, given the average.
Fred: We could be confidantes. Confiding confidentially.
Wes: I've been wanting to do that for some time now.
Fred: What do you think of Knox?
Sebassis: Dress yourself, Angel. You have a public execution to attend.
Harmony: Somebody really dipped his chip.
Fred: What do you mean, manifest?
Spike: That's one bitchin big suit.
Knox: Well, the night is still young. Well, I mean, no. It's over, actually. But... did you want to get a cup of coffee?
Fred: Actually, I could use a drink.
Wes: It may have just been processing the conflicts that Lorne normally deals with in his sleep, acting out on the emotional responses he has to the people around him.
Angel: I guess Lorne makes some judgements after all.
Angel: So what do we got? Lawsuit? Demon war?
Gunn: No. It seems like they enjoy a little blood sport at their social functions. Looks like we're okay.
Gunn: Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
Spike: What, the Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous.
Lorne: Mmm. I'm sorry.
Angel: Hey, it's okay. Lorne. Just try and get some rest. Get some sleep.
Lorne: It's... it's hard. It's hard being the host of the party. Yeah.
Angel: Stop trying to be.