Drusilla: Oh. Such a hungry little kitty. Meow. You've been a starved one, haven't you, my sweet Willy?
William: Angelus? Who the bloody hell's An...?
Drusilla: Look what I made. It's called Willy.
Drusilla: Where's Darla? I want Darla to see William.
Angelus: Don't mistake me. I do love the ladies. It's just lately... I've been wondering... what it'd be like... to share the slaughter of innocents... with another man.... Don't... don't think that makes me some kind of deviant, hmmm?... Do you?... Au ah! I like this one! You and me, we're gonna be the best of friends.
Angel: Get the hell away from me, Spike.
Spike: Would that I could, you big ape. Til then, why don't you make us both happy and give me what I want?
Angel: You're not getting an office.
Spike: You selfish sod. The rest of your lot get to go home to their nice and cozies. Me? I gotta nest in somebody else's roost. It's not bleeding right.
Angel: You don't work here. You haunt this place and annoy me. That's all.
Spike: Job well done, eh?
Spike: Boo-hoo. Thought he killed his bloody father. Try staking your mother when she's coming on to you!
Harmony: Well... that explains a lot.
Spike: Well, that was a slap and a tickle.
Spike: Hey. I... I can feel.
Angel: Hey. Stop touching me.
Gunn: Hey, what's goin...
Spike: I'm back, Charlie boy! That's what's going!
Gunn: He's corporeal. WHen did thi... I mean, how?
Angel: I don't know. He jus...
Angelus: She's special, isn't she? Our Drusilla.
William: More than that. She brought me into this world. Where I was meant to be. It's like... she's my destiny.
Jerry: Nobody... replaces... the toner!
Eve: Shanshu. Maybe you've heard of it?
Angel: Oh, God. That again. Yeah, I'm familiar. So?
Eve: So it talks about a champion. A vampire with a soul who'll play a pivotal role in the apocalypse. For good or evil. Anybody's guess. That part's hazy.
Fred: I thought the Shanshu had to do with Angel becoming human again afte...
Eve: That's just the epilogue, princess. And, for the record, the prophecy doesn't call Angel by name.
Gunn: Hold on. You're saying because Spike's back, you think he...
Eve: I don't think anything. All I can tell you is his very existence is disrupting the order of things.
Angel: No argument here.
Gunn: This doesn't add up. There were already 2 souled vampires in the universe before Spike fried. Why is this happening now?
Eve: The keyword here is 'champion'. Spike gave his life to save the world. That gives him the cred. But when he died and became a ghost, case closed. Now that he's back, all bets are off, kids.
Security Guard: All channels, we have a code black. Affirmative. We are closing Pandora's Box.
Eve: There's only supposed to be one candidate for the vampire with the soul hero part in the big show. Two of you, and the wheel of destiny starts to spin off its axis. That's why everything and everyone is going mad.
Spike: Hold on a tick. You're blaming this on us?
Angel: No, she's blaming it on you.
Eve: This town might not be big enough for the both of you.
Gunn: Cat's gone.
Gunn: The white room, too. Elevator just opened up into a howling abyss. You ever heard a howling abyss? Terrible sound.
Sirk: 'Storm unleashed. The balance will falter until the vampire with a soul drinks from the cup of perpetual torment.
Angel: More metaphor.
Sirk: No, that's real.
Eve: So there's a cup.
Spike: Perpetual torment? Just know that's not gonna taste very good.
Sirk: 'He will have the weight of the worlds upon him, binding his limbs, grinding his bones to meal until he saves creation... or destroys it.'
Spike: Uh... right. So, what's in it for me?
Sirk: The vampire will have his past washed clean.
Angel: And live again in mortal form. Yeah, that part I know.
Spike: Still can't accept it, can you? Sad really. All these years believing you're the signified monkey, only to find out you're just a big hunk of nobody cares.
Angel: I really wished you stayed a ghost.
Spike: Here we are, then. Two vampire heroes... competing to wet our whistle with a drink of light, refreshing torment.
Angel: Is that what you think you are a hero?
Spike: Saved the world, didn't I?
Angel: Once. Talk to me after you've done it a couple more times.
Drusilla: Did you miss me, pretty William?
Angelus: I'm sure he did, Dru. After all... you are his destiny.
Drusilla: Oh. That's so sweet.
Spike: Come on! Let's see how much soul you really got in there.
Spike: Look at you. Thinking you're the big savior fighting for truth, justice, and soccer moms but you still can't lay flesh on a cross without smelling like bacon, can you?
Angel: Like you're any different.
Spike: Well, that's just it. I am. And you know it. You had a soul forced upon you as a curse. Make you suffer for all the horrible things you've done. But me... I fought for my soul. Went through the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. Cause I knew it was the right thing to do... It's my destiny.
Angel: Really? Heard it was just to get into a girl's pants.
Spike: Used to hit a lot harder, gramps.
Angel: No, your head's just gotten thicker.
Spike: Vampire with a soul. Nobody knows what side he's gonna fight on... when the big show comes down. Except we already know what side you're on, don't we? Already made your choice. Traded in your cape and tights for a nice comfy chair at Wolfram & bloody Hart.
Angel: Little more complicated than that. But you always were a bit simple... Willy.
Angelus: Just don't get it now, do you? Well, you're new... and a little dim. So let me explain to you how things are now. There's no belonging or deserving anymore. You can take what you want, have what you want.. but nothing is yours... Not even her.
William: You're wrong. We're forever, Drusilla and me.
Drusilla: Are we?
Angelus: Ah, still the poet now, aren't we, Willy?
Angelus: Right. William. You know, you really should find a new name for yourself. It just doesn't strike the right note of terror. Tell you what... William. If you want her... come and take her.
Spike: Come on, hero. Tell me more. Teach me what it means. And I'll tell you why you can't stand the bloody sight of me.
Angel: Tell it to your therapist.
Spike: Cause every time you look at me... you see all the dirty little things I've done, all the lives I've taken... because of you! Drusilla sired me... but you... you made me a monster.
Angel: I didn't make you, Spike. I just opened up the door... and let the real you out.
Spike: You never knew the real me. Too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you!
Angel: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you: Because you weren't me.
Spike: Guess that means she was thinking about you... all those times I was putting it to her.
Spike: Probably should've dusted you... But honestly... I don't want to hear her bitch about it.
Angel: So ask yourself: Is this really the destiny that was meant for you? Do you even really want it? Or is it that you just want to take something away from me?
Spike: Bit of both.
Spike: I-it's... Mountain Dew.
Angel: All right. Sirk's gone. The cup's a fake, but the madness is real. So what are we gonna do about it?
Gunn: I say we start by untying the brother.
Angel: He beat me, Gunn.
Gunn: Who, Spike? Looks to me like he got as good as h...
Angel: No. He beat me to the cup.
Gunn: You mean the fake cup? The make believe, fairy tale cup? So what?!
Angel: No, you don't... He won the fight, Gunn... for the first time. Doesn't matter if the cup is real or not... In the end, he... Spike was stronger. He wanted it more.
Gunn: Angel, it doesn't mean anything.
Angel: What if it does? What if it means that... I'm not the one?
Eve: You know, funny thing about throwing the universe out of whack... not as fun as it sounds. On the plus side, they totally fell for the cup of torment thing. Just like you thought they would. And our Mr. Sirk pulled off his vanishing act without a hitch. Right under the senior partners' noses. And you might be happy to know... Team Angel is on red alert. Could be they think the partners just fired a warning shot across their bow. Oh, and, by the way, Spike didn't kill Angel, but they did beat each other to bloody pulps.
Lindsey: Well... it's a start.