Into The Woods

Willow: "What time is it?"
Xander: "There's a clock behind you, Will."
Willow: "I know, but there's a watch right above your hand."

Dr. Kriegel: "Okay, your mom's in recovery."
Buffy: "What happened, is she all right?"
Dr. Kriegel: "It was possible to visualize the tumor completely, which means I was able to get all of it. So, barring complications in recovery... I think your mother's going to be fine. Of course we're still going to have to watch your mother carefully, and, uh, have her back in here for some follow-up testing, but, uh, overall I'd consider the procedure a complete success."

Dawn: "When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this, and then Buffy would chase me around the house yelling, I'm the slayer, I'm going to get you!"
Anya: "That's disturbing. You're emotionally scarred and will end up badly."
Dawn: "No, it was great. I mean, she didn't actually stake me in the heart, you know."
Xander: "Buffy's pretty cool like that."

Dawn: "That one looks sad."
Xander: "The chimp playing hockey? Is that based on Chekhov?"
Anya: "There's a chimp playing hockey?"
Dawn: "Um, no, the other one. I don't wanna see a sad movie."
Anya: "We have to see the chip playing hockey! That's hilarious! The ice is so slippery, and, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this."
Xander: "You pick, Dawn. This is your night. We are celebrating your mom's good news."
Anya: "Go monkey. Choose monkey."
Dawn: "It's okay. You guys don't have to make a big deal for me. I'm only sleeping over here so Buffy and Riley can boink."
Xander: "No, that's not, that's not it at all, they just need time to, uh... be tender. Relax."
Anya: "He's not very convincing, is he?"
Dawn: "'Alone time' always translates into 'get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud obnoxious sex'."
Anya: "Oh, does that mean we can't?"

Buffy: "Are you planning on seducing me, Mr. Finn?"
Riley: "Always."

Buffy: "Mom's out of the woods, and I'm here with you. That's all that matters."

Buffy: "Come on, wigs are fun. We can get you a whole bunch of different ones. You know, you can be, like, Sixties Mom, Action Mom... French Maid Mom..."
Joyce: "I must be getting better, cause you're making fun of me."

Joyce: "Well, what about slaying and your friends? I want you to have your life back."
Buffy: "Right now I'd rather be here, styling your beautiful new plastic dream hair."

Buffy: "And I'm sure he'll come over later looking for a little... bible study."
Joyce: "Well, good. I mean, just as long as the two of you are spending some quality time with... the lord."
Buffy: "We are. Absolutely."

Buffy: "Riley?"
Spike: "It's me."
Buffy: "Every time you show up like this, you risk all of your parts, you know that?"
Spike: "I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason. As usual, I'm here to help you, and I - are you naked under there?"
Buffy: "Get out."
Spike: "No, I'm serious. I mean, not about the naked part, I mean..."
Buffy: "Get out or I will drop you out head-first."
Spike: "I wanna show you something."
Buffy: "What?"
Spike: "You need to see this. But we need to move if we wanna get there in time. Oh, please! Like I give a bloody damn."

Riley: "Buffy!"
Spike: "We only came here because we care abou you, friend. You need help."

Riley: "I quit the government a long way back."
Ellis: "We're not government. We're army."
Graham: "Just like you."

Don't Forget!
Winter Solstice--Hanukkah--Christmas--Kwanzaa--Gurnenthar's Ascendance
Are Coming!

Anya: "Oh. Who ordered more chickens' feet? The ones we have aren't moving at all."
Xander: "That's generally what happens when you cut them off the chicken."
Anya: "I'm serious. Maybe we could do a... holiday promotion. One free with every purchase!"
Giles: "Oh, yeah. Dear holiday memories. Merry tykes by the fire, enjoying their new Christmas... chicken feet."
Willow: "Aw, holding them tight as they fall asleep. Painting their little toenails."

Anya: "I'm sorry, Willow. Thank you for making time in your busy life to come in here and get in the way of mine."
Xander: "Anya, play nice."

Anya: "Have a nice day! Don't get killed."

Xander: "Well, I guess everybody jumped ship once the word got out that the slayer found their crib. I just want to apologize for the use of the word 'crib'."

Spike: "Look, I'm not the one who got you into this. Don't kill the messenger."
Riley: "Why the hell not?"

Spike: "Ow! Bloody hell! Oh god! Hey."
Riley: "Plastic wood-grain. Looks real, doesn't it?"

Spike: "Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey."
Riley: "Because you are."
Spike: "Well... yeah."

Spike: "The girl needs some monster in her man... and that's not in your nature... no matter how low you try to go."
Riley: "You actually think you've got a shot with her?"
Spike: "No, I don't. Fella's gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can."
Riley: "If you touched her... you know I'd kill you for real."
Spike: "I had this chip outta my head, I'da killed you long ago. Ain't love grand? Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. And sometimes I think I got the better deal. To be that close to her and not have her. To be all alone even when you're holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you. Surrounding you. The scent... No, you got the better deal."
Riley: "I'm the lucky guy. Yeah."

Riley: "They made me feel something, Buffy. Something I didn't even know I was missing until-"
Buffy: "I can't. I can't hear this."
Riley: "You need to hear this."
Buffy: "Fine. Fine! Tell me about your whores! Tell me what on earth they were giving you that I can't."
Riley: "They needed me."
Buffy: "They needed your money. It wasn't about you."
Riley: "No. On some basic level it was about me. My blood, my body. When they bit me... it was beyond passion. They wanted to devour me, all of me."

Buffy: "What else do you want from me, Riley? I've given you everything that I have, I've given you my heart, my body and soul!"
Riley: "You say that, but I don't feel it. I just don't feel it."

Riley: "I'm leaving, Buffy. Unless you give me a reason to stay... I'm leaving tonight."

Buffy: "Go home, Xander."
Xander: "Buffy."
Buffy: "I'm serious!"
Xander: "So am I. Something's up. You're acting like a crazy person."

Xander: "If you don't wanna hear what I have to say, I'll shut up right now."
Buffy: "Good, cause I don't."
Xander: "I lied. See, what I think, you got burned with Angel, then Riley shows up."
Buffy: "I know the story, Xander."
Xander: "But you miss the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy. When he's the one that come along once in a lifetime. He's never held back with you. He's risked everything. And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums? If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy... I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need... if you're ready for that... then think about what you're about to lose."
Buffy: "Xander..."
Xander: "Run."

Xander: "I'm gotta say something... Cause... I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do... the way you think... the way you move... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know."

Episode Guide: Into The Woods

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- - last updated: 4-1-02 - -