Crush
Buffy: "What are you doing?"
Spike: "What, what do you mean what am... I..."
Buffy: "Here? At this table? Talking to me. Like we're some kind of talking buddies."
Spike: "Well, I saw you... sitting here alone. Thought, I don't know, you could, maybe do with a bit of, uh, you know, company."
Spike: "It's just, we took an the Glory chippie together, I was right there with you, fightin the fight."
Buffy: "Actually, you were sleeping the sleep of the knocked unconscious."
Spike: "Still, points for intent."
Xander: "Hey, uh, Evil Dead, you're in my seat."
Spike: "Bugger it."
Anya: "Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings."
Xander: "And you should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. You know, that's, uh, that's actually some pretty good advice."
Buffy: "This is the first R'n'R I've had in weeks. How about we go one night without saying the name Glory."
Tara: "I'm down with that. Let's just call 'she who will not be named' another name. Let's just call her-"
Buffy: "Ben!"
Tara: "For example."
Xander: "The point is, I work hard for that money."
Spike: "And you're saying I didn't?"
Xander: You stole it."
Spike: "And you're making it into very hard work!"
Xander: "Listen, bleach boy, I dont' have a chip in my head. I can do far more damage to you than you can ever do to me."
Spike: "Yeah? Like you could ever hurt me."
Buffy: "What did I tell you about borrowing my clothing?"
Dawn: "I didn't take your clothes."
Buffy: "Bull!"
Dawn: "I never touched your stuff."
Buffy: "Really. Then what happened to my blue cashmere sweater?"
Harmony: "Oh, I'm gonna stake you! I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire, and I'm gonna slay you! I'm sneaking up, and I'm goning to to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen - Oh, Spike!"
Willow: "I just don't see why he couldn't end up with Esmerelda. They could have the wedding right there. Beneath the very bell-tower where he labored thanklessly for all those years."
Tara: "No, see, it can't, it can't end like that, cause all of Quasimodo's actions were selfishly motivated. He had no moral compass, no understanding of right. Everything he did, he did out of love for a woman who would never be able to love him back. Also, you can tell it's not gonna have a happy ending when the main guy's all bumpy."
Buffy: "You're done with this?"
Guy: "Yeah, hi, uh, kind of reading that?"
Spike: "Oh, it's you. What are you doing here lurking about?"
Dawn: "I'm not lurking. I'm looking. What are you doing?"
Spike: "Nothing."
Dawn: "So is this how you get around town in the daytime? I mean, does that lead into the sewers or something? Can you show me?"
Spike: "No. Why are you - Does Buffy know you're here?"
Dawn: "Yeah, right. Cause nothing would make her happier than to find out I'm hanging out after school in the vampire's lair. Especially yours."
Spike: "Go home then."
Dawn: "I don't feel like it right now."
Spike: "Well, you can't bloody well stay here."
Dawn: "Why not?"
Spike: "Because, I've got things to do. Bad, evil things! That are not for a child's eyes."
Dawn: "I'm not a child. I'm not even human. Not originally."
Spike: "Yeah, well, originally I was. I got over it. Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out."
Dawn: "That's smart. I get that. I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all... twitchy and secretive."
Spike: "They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect."
Dawn: "I feel safe with you."
Spike: "Take that back!"
Spike: "And I kill em. Right quick, the whold lot. But... There's someone missing. Supposed to be... this little girl. So I get real quiet, and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. So I listened harder, it's very, very quiet... Oh... bloody hell."
Buffy: "Spike, I need your help, Dawn is - Here."
Dawn: "Spike was just telling me a story, a-and he was just at this really cool part-"
Buffy: "What the hell is this? What is she doing here?"
Dawn: "Just hanging out."
Buffy: "Here?"
Dawn: "Can you plese let him finish the story? Then you could do the lecture?"
Buffy: "Yeah. Okay. Let's hear the story that Spike is telling my little sister."
Spike: "Right. Yeah. So, uh, I knew the girl was in the coal bin. So I rip it open, very violent, haul her out of there... and then I give her to a good family in a nice home, where they're never ever mean to her, and didn't lock her in the coal bin."
Dawn: "What? That's so lame!"
Buffy: "Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad."
Dawn: "Cause it was Spike!"
Buffy: "Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is, it is dangerous, and... icky."
Dawn: "I don't think Spike's icky."
Buffy: "Yeah, well, think again, sister - You have a crush on him."
Dawn: "No I don't! It's just, he's got cool hair, and he wears cool leather coats and stuff."
Dawn: "I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around."
Buffy: "What does that mean?"
Dawn: "Spike's totally into you. Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is completely in love with you."
Buffy: "Huh?"
Xander: "So, tell me again what we're looking for?"
Buffy: "Clues."
Xander: "Ooooh-kay. Could you give me a clue about what kind of clues?"
Buffy: "It's creepy."
Xander: "No. Not creepy. Cause it's not real! I mean, now upset can you really get over one of Spike's... fevered daydreams that's not gonna happen?"
Buffy: "I guess."
Xander: "So, where did Dawn, how did she come to this exteremely... entertaining conclusion?"
Buffy: "She was hanging out with Spike. I think she has a crush on him."
Xander: "What?"
Buffy: "I mean, I always knew that he had this... weird fixation with me..."
Xander: "I'm the one she has a crush on! Me!"
Buffy: "There's nothing here. Let's go."
Xander: "It's always been me! Big funny Xander! Oh, what, she just suddenly decides I'm not the cool one any more? Why is that okay?"
Spike: "I got a bit of info you might be keen on knowin."
Buffy: "Sorry, all out of cash. Why don't you hit on Giles - hit up Giles."
Spike: "I wanna be sedated... Do you like the Ramones?"
Buffy: "What... is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?"
Spike: "A d- Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - do you want it to be?"
Buffy: "Oh my god. Oh... oh no. Are you out of your mind?"
Spike: "It's not so unusual. Two people... in the workplace... feelings develop."
Buffy: "No! No, no, feelings do not develop. No feelings."
Spike: "You can't deny it. There's something between us."
Buffy: "Loathing. Disgust."
Spike: "Heat. Desire."
Buffy: "Please! Spike, you're a vampire."
Spike: "Angel was a vampire."
Buffy: "Angel was good!"
Spike: "And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy."
Buffy: "You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!"
Spike: "I damn well do! I lie awake every night!"
Buffy: "You sleep during the day!"
Spike: "Yeah, but - You are missing the point. This is real here. I love -"
Buffy: "Don't! Don't say it. I'm going."
Drusilla: "I dont believe in science. All those bits and molecules no one's ever seen. I trust eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine is singing out right now? You're a killer. Born to slash... and bash... and... oh bleed like beautiful poetry. No little tinker-toy could ever stop you from flowing."
Spike: "Yeah."
Drusilla: "Ohh."
Spike: "But the pain... love, you don't understand, it's... it's searing. It's, um, blinding."
Drusilla: "All in your head. I can see it. Little bit of... plastic, spiderwebbing out nasty blue shocks. And every one is a lie. Electricity lies, Spike. It tells you you're not a bad dog, but you are."
Harmony: "You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking. Cause my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. Or Charlize Theron."
Spike: "Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla."
Harmony: "Oh. Well, you've got some nerve showing up here like this. After all this time. After breaking my sweet boo-boo's heart."
* Drusilla mouths word 'boo-boo' at Spike questionly. Spike shrugs *
Harmony: "Do you have any idea how hard it's been to break down the walls he put up after you left? I mean, serious trust issues."
Spike: "Harm..."
Harmony: "So it's no use crawling back to him, cause Spikey don't play that game no more, Morticia."
* Dru puts up hand to block sight of Harmony *
Joyce: "Honey, did you... somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals?"
Buffy: "Well, I... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like thrid base."
Buffy: "You know, besides, this'll probably just blow over. You know? It's just some weird Spike thing. He'll have the hots for some gak demon before we know it."
Willow: "I don't know. Uh, these things can, can become pretty twisted."
Joyce: "Yeah, and Spike, I mean, he's..."
Buffy: "Pretty twisted."
Joyce: "Better to nip this in the but before-"
Buffy: "The bud nips me?"
Joyce: "Exactly."
Willow: "If you want, Buffy, I can go with. Back you up with some scowling."
Buffy: "Thanks, but... I think this is something I have to do myself. Besides, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this, this whole thing's just been blown way out of proportion and... he's already gone back to wanting me dead."
Willow: "Here's hoping."
Drusilla: "Shall we tie her up? Play with her a teensy bit first."
Spike: "I'm through playing."
Drusilla: "Oooh. I like it when you're all dour and straight to business-like."
Spike: "Bloody well through playing."
Drusilla: "Not nice to change the game in mid-play, Spike. You've taken my chair and the music hasn't stopped."
Spike: "Sorry, pet. My house, my rules."
Drusilla: "I think I shall be very cross with you when I'm free again."
Buffy: "What's going on?"
Spike: "Simple. I'm gonna prove something. I love you."
Buffy: "Oh my god."
Spike: "No, look at me! I... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my guy... my throat... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you."
Drusilla: * laughs *
Spike: "I can do without the laugh track, Dru."
Drusilla: "But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me."
Buffy: "And whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You can't love without a soul."
Drusilla: "Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely."
Spike: "Don't mock this."
Buffy: "Go mock yourself."
Spike: "Just... give me something... a crumb... a barest smidgen... tell me... maybe, someday, there's a chance."
Buffy: "Spike... The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious."
Spike: "Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why... do you bitches tortue me?"
Buffy: "Which question do you want me to answer first?"
Spike: "And you - wouldn't be able to touch me, because this, with you, is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete idiot. You think I like having you in here? Destroying everything that was me, until all that's left is you, in a dead shell. You say you hate it, but you won't leave."
Harmony: "I gave you the best... bunch of months of my life!"
Drusilla: "That's right, little girl. Teach our naughty boy a lesson."
Drusilla: "Poor Spike... so lost. Even I can't help you now."
Buffy: "What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?"
Spike: "No, it's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's real, and there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I'm in your life, you can't just shut me out."