Buffy: "Spike! Spike wants me, how obscene is that?"
Giles: "Well, it is very strange. I can't imagine what he's thinking. Uh, not, not that you're not, uh, attractive..."
Buffy: "I feel gross, you know, like, like dirty."
Giles: "That's ridiculous, you can't be responsible for what Spike thinks or feels."
Buffy: "Well aren't I responsible? I mean, something about me had to make him feel that, right? Something that made him say, 'woof, that's the one for me!"
Buffy: "Oh! Puffy Xander, uh, I'm sorry, I got... guess I got carried away. Are you okay?"
Xander: "I'm alive. I can tell cause of the pain."
Buffy: "Do you wanna sit down?"
Xander: "I'm not that bendy. I could lean."
Giles: "I'll get some ice>"
Buffy: "Here. Comfy?"
Xander: "Oh, yeah. This leaning? This is the stuff."
Buffy: "That's my secret to attracting men. You know, it's simple really, you slap em around a bit, you torture em, you make their lives a living hell-"
Buffy: "...and sure, the nice guys, they'll run away, but ever now and then you'll meet a real prince of a guy like Spike who gets off on it."
Buffy: "Maybe I could change. You know, I could, I could work harder. I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes, I mean, men like that, right, the, the joke-laughing-at?"
Xander: "Or maybe you could just be Buffy, he'll see your amazing heart, and he'll fall in love with you."
Buffy: "Xander, that's... aw!"
Xander: "This is the day you choose to hug me?"
Joyce: "So is anyone gonna talk about my dress?"
Dawn: "I like it."
Joyce: "You sure? I mean, it's not too mom-ish?"
Dawn: "Oh. That's was why I liked it."
Buffy: "You're both crazy. It's not mom-ish at all. It's sexy. It screams, 'Randy sex kitten, buy me one drink and I'll...' Oh, wait, that's no really good either."
Buffy: "4:23. You have lots of time until seven. Vast acres of time in which you could plant crops. Now tell me about this Brian and what his intentions are."
Dawn: "Maybe he's a gigolo. Was his shirt all shiny?"
Joyce: "No! He works for a publishing house. He's a nice normal guy, okay?"
Buffy: "I think I've heard of those."
Tara: "Willow's good at all that computer stuff, but me not so much. Do you really understand all that?"
Anya: "Oh. Well, at first it was confusing. Just the idea of computers was like, 'whoa, I'm eleven hundred years old. I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans'."
Tara: "I go online sometimes, but... everyone's spelling is really bad, and it's... depressing."
Anya: "But you have to try online trading, it's great! The secret is avoiding the tech companies everyone was jumping on, and, and going with the smaller firms that supply the basic components."
Anya: "Anyway, I took the money from working for Giles, and I tripled it."
Tara: "Tripled? Like, first money, then money money money?"
Anya: "Yes. I'm thinking about buying something very expensive. Maybe an antelope."
Xander: "How you doing, having o'the fun?"
Buffy: "You know, I am. Dancing with you is way better than trying to hook up with some good-looking guy."
Xander: "I think I liked it better when you were kicking me in my puffy groin."
Anya: "I let them do that. Dance together. That was me."
Tara: "Very nice of you."
Willow: "A good deed."
Anya: "Yes. I'm expecting a big karmic reward any second now."
Buffy: "So, um... do you... maybe... wanna dance?"
Ben: "I'm not really good. You know, rhythm. Uh, sure. I'd love to."
Anya: "Look at these tiny grain patties. They're woven. That's craftsmanship."
* eating Chex Mix *"
Xander: "They aren't hand-woven, you know."
Anya: "Then how?"
Xander: "Well, it's a, a machine, and it's... it sorta... it presses. And there may be a mold of some sort..."
Anya: "She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely."
Xander: "Well, some of us like that kind of thing is a girl."
Spike: "Small world. Oh dear. If looks could stake. You having fun, pet? You... trolling for your next ex? I gotta say, you can do better."
Buffy: "I told you, I wa-"
Spike: "Thought I was gonna leave town? It's a free country. Free party. If you want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me."
Ben: "Was that guy bothering you? Should I, um, offer to get inappropriately violent or something?"
Ben: "Good, cause, honestly, I don't wanna."
Buffy: "Um, I, I just, I-I think you should know that I... I kind of have this bad history in which, you know, we go get coffee, and well, it all ends with, with you leaving town, and yo just got here and everything..."
Ben: "Apparently we'd be risking a tragic chain reaction, but... I just really like... coffee. I think coffee might be worth it. And I would like to get to know... coffee better."
Spike: "Bloody hell! You threw me through a window! What's that about?"
April: "You do not make those suggestions to me. I have a boyfriend. Warren is my boyfriend."
Spike: "You know what? My bleeding sympathies to Warren."
Buffy: "I don't know about you guys, but I've had it with super-strong little women who aren't me."
Tara: "Well, at least she didn't do too much damage."
Xander: "Are you kidding? Double-glazed windows ain't cheap. And the jamb needs to be completely repaired. Oh dear god, I'm the grownup who sees the world through my job. I'm like my uncle Dave the plumber. I must be shunned."
Buffy: So, what do you guys think she is? I mean, this may sound nuts, but I kinda got the impression that she was a-"
Xander: "Oh yeah, robot."
Buffy: "Yeah, I was gonna say robot."
Giles: "Dear god, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're going to have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it's not fair on her."
Buffy: "What'd she make you do?"
Giles: "Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosed for their ability to dance... then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys."
Buffy: "I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my 'fun time Buffy party night' involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you wanna trade... No... wait... I wouldn't give that memory up for anything."
Joyce: "Oh dear."
Joyce: "I left my bra in his car."
Joyce: "I'm joking."
Buffy: "Good god, that's horrible. Don't do that."
Joyce: "I left it in the restaurant."
Buffy: "No more! No more! No more!"
Joyce: "On the desert cart!"
Buffy: "I can't hear you."
Tara: "Oh, do you have any books on robots?"
Giles: "Oh, yes, dozens. There's an enormous amount of research we should do before - no, I'm lying. I haven't got squat, I just like to see Xander squirm."
Xander: "Funny. Charming and funny."
Giles: "Uh, we have no idea what his motive is for building this thing."
Tara: "Um... don't you think she's just..."
Willow: "Yeah... she's just sort of a..."
Xander: "She's a sexbot. I mean, what guy doesn't dream about that? Beautiful girl with... no other thought but to please you... willing to do anything... Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but... he'd get it."
Buffy: "Well, I found your number in my pocket, and, you know, figured I'd pick up the phone a couple of times, and then hang up, and then finally call, and see if maybe you wanted to get that cup of coffee, or..."
Warren: "No, no, there's more. Uh, there's something you need to know about her."
Buffy: "I know."
Warren: "No, wait, this is important."
Buffy: "Believe me, I-I worked it out."
Warren: "No, this is something, uh, that you can't possibley know. She's a robot."
Anya: "Ooh, can we throw him out the window like the robot did? Cause that was neat."
Spike: "Okay, now, I was afraid of this. Misrepresentations, misunderstandings, slurs and allegations. I don't know what Buffy told you, but the thing is, the Slayer and I worked together, side by side, to get rid of Dru. Who was up to no good. And I don't mind telling you-"
Giles: "Spike... listen to me."
Spike: "It's just... I'm trying to explain. She might have said some things that sounded like I expressed some kind of feeling-"
Giles: "We are not your friends. We are not your way to Buffy. There is no way to Buffy. Clear out of here. And Spike, this thing... get over it."
Spike: "I don't know what you mean>"
Giles: "Yes, you do. Move the hell on."
Warren: "No, I made her to love me. I mean, she cares about what I care about, and she wants to be with me. She listens to me and supports me. I didn't make a toy. I made a girlfriend."
Buffy: "A girlfriend. Are you saying... are you in love with her?"
Warren: "I really thought I would be. I mean, she's perfect. I don't know, I... I guess it was too easy. And predictable. You know, she got boring. She was exactly what I wanted, and I didn't want her. I thought I was going crazy."
Buffy: "Warren, this is important. Is she dangerous?"
Warren: "She's only programed to be in love."
Buffy: "Then she's dangerous."
Buffy: "You're one creepy little dweeb, Warren."
--Directives-- --Locate Warren-- --mk warren hpy-- --recognition module-- --Combat Mode Enabled--
-mk warren hpy.fld-
* end of list *
--mk warren hpy--
--Combat Mode Enabled--
Buffy: "She growls? You made her so she growls?"
April: "You took my man. I'm going to kill you."
April: "It's getting dark. It's so early to be dark."
April: "What if he comes back and can't find me in the dark?"
Buffy: "I'm here. I'll make sure that he finds you."
April: "When things are sad... you just have to be patient. Because... because every... cloud has a silver lining. And... when life... give you lemons... make... lemonade."
Buffy: "Clouds and lemonade, huh?"
April: "Yes. And... and... things are... always... darkest... before..."
Xander: "One of the cool things about that, you see is, uh, the jamb can be shimmed to be square, even if the opening isn't."
Buffy: "Shimmed? Is that even a real word? Do you have any idea what you're talking about?"
Xander: "Yeah, I do. Scary, isn't it? I think I've actually turned into someone you want around after a crazed robot attack."
Buffy: "And if you ever start your own business, you have your slogan right there."
Xander: "Robots are the strangest people."
Buffy: "No... people are the strangest people. I mean, look at me obsessing about being with someone. It's like... I don't need a guy right now. I need me. I need to get comfortable being alone with Buffy."
Xander: "Well, I'll say this, she's a pretty cool person to be alone with."
Buffy: "Hey. Flower-gettin lady. Want me to pick Dawn up from school? Mom? What are you doing? Mom? Mom? Mommy?"