Buffy: "Dawn, if there are any plates in your room, let's have them before they get furry and we have to name them."
Dawn: "Hey, I was like five then."

Buffy: "Training. Slaying. All of it. It's just... I mean... I can beat up the demons until the cows come home. And then I can beat up the cows... but I'm not sure I like what it's doing to me."
Giles: "But you've mastered so much. I mean, your strength and resilience alone -"
Buffy: "Yeah. Strength, resilience... those are all words for hardness. I'm starting to feel like... being the Slayer is turning me into stone."

Buffy: "Giles... I love you. Love... love, love, love, love, Giles it feels strange."
Giles: "Well, I shouldn't wonder. How serious are you about this?"
Buffy: "Ten. I'm serious to the amount of ten."

Buffy: "I love you, Dawn. You know that, right?"
Dawn: "Yeah. I love you too."
Buffy: "I love you... really love you."
Dawn: "Gettin weird."
Buffy: "Sorry. But it's important that I tell you. Weird love's better than no love."
Spike: "Some say it's better'n the real thing."

Glory: "If time runs out on us and all we're left with is info? Then we're screwed."

Buffy: "What's in the trunk?"
Giles: "Supplies."
Buffy: "Supplies? I was wondering about that. Like, food, water, maybe a compass?"
Giles: "What about a book, a gourd, and a bunch of twigs?"
Buffy: "I don't think I'll be that hungry."

Buffy: "A guide but no food or water. So it lead me to the sacred place, and then a week later it leads you to my bleached bones?"
Giles: "Buffy, please. It takes more than a week to bleach bones."
Buffy: "So, how's it start?"
Giles: "I, uh, jump out of the circle and then jump back in it, and then, um... I shake my gourd."
Buffy: "I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around."
Giles: "Go quest."
Buffy: "And that's what it's all about."

BuffyBot: "I, I wanna hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body."

Spike: "You know you should be afraid of me. I'm bad."
BuffyBot: "You are. You're very, very bad."

Anya: "I don't see why we have to patrol just cause Buffy's away. I'd rather stay home and watch television."
Tara: "Oh yeah, Willow wants to watch this thing on the history channel tonight, Salem Witch Trial stuff, which is only gonna get her all upset."
Anya: "Oh, I was there, it really wasn't that bad. See, if you were really a witch, you could do a spell to escape... so really it was only bad for the falsely acccused, and, well, they never have a good time."

BuffyBot: "Darn your sinister attration."

BuffyBot: "Oh, Spike, devour me!"
Spike: "All right."
BuffyBot: "Spike, I can't help myself. I love you."
Spike: "You're mine, Buffy."
BuffyBot: "Should I start this program over?"
Spike: "Shh! No programs. Don't use that word. Just be Buffy."

BuffyBot: "Time to slay."
Spike: "Yeah..."
BuffyBot: "Vampires of the world, beware."

--Hard Drive--
--Locate Spike--
--Make Spike Happy--
-kissing 01 - 02-
-positions 01 - 05-

-dates Anya-

-dates Xander-
-likes money-

BuffyBot: "Anya! How is your money?"
Anya: "Fine. Thank you for asking."
BuffyBot: "Isn't it a beautiful night for killing evil things?"
Xander: "I guess."
Anya: "You're back very early."
Xander: "Yeah, how was the whole vision-quest experience?"
BuffyBot: "I don't understand that question. But thank you for asking. You're my friend, and a carpenter."

BuffyBot: "Spike! It's Spike. And he's wearing a coat."

BuffyBot: "Oh Spike. You're the big bad. You're the BIG bad!"

Xander: "Buffy's gone insane."
Willow: "What? What'd she do?"
Xander: "Brace yourself. You're not going to believe it."
Tara: "Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I-I did some pretty dumb stuff, like lying to my family and staying out all night."
Anya: "Buffy's boinking Spike."
Willow: "Oh... well, Ta-Tara's right. Grief can be powerful adn we shouldn't judge-"
Tara: "What are you kidding? She's nuts!"
Willow: "Well, it's not healthy. we're all agreeing there."
Tara: "What can we do?"
Anya: "Sometimes in the movies when they go crazy they slap em."
Xander: "I'm gonna go find her and talk to her. If she's losing it, we gotta help her before she gets herself hurt."
Tara: "You aren't really gonna slap her, are you?"
Xander: "No, but if I have to see her straddle Spike again, I will definitely knock myself unconscious."

Spike: "I'm not a monster."
Xander: "Yes. You are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them."
Spike: "Well, yeah, you got me there."

First Slayer: "You are full of love. You love with all of your soul. It's brighter than the fire... blinding. That's why you pull away from it."
Buffy: "I'm full of love? I'm not losing it?"
First Slayer: "Only if you reject it. Love is pain, and the Slayer forges strength from pain. Love... give... forgive. Risk the pain. It is your nature. Love will bring you to your gift."
Buffy: "What?"

-best friend-
-gay (1999-present)-
-good with computers-

Willow: "Um... Buffy, this thing with Spike, i-i-it isn't true, is it? You didn't, you know, sleep with Spike?"
BuffyBot: "No. I had sex with Spike."

BuffyBot: "It wasn't one time. It was lots of times. And lots of different ways. I could make sketches."
Willow: "No! Buffy, there is something seriously wrong here! I... Okay, yeah, you've been with a vampire before, but Angel had a soul."
BuffyBot: "Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up, and he's bloody stupid."
Willow: "Okay..."

First Slayer: "Death is your gift."
Buffy: "Death..."
First Slayer: "Is your gift."

Glory: "What the hell is that, and why is his hair that color?"

Willow: "Whatever we do, we're gonna need Buffy's help."
Xander: "Then we're gonna have to talk to her."
Willow: "Intervention time again?"

Buffy: "Blame? There's blame now?"
Willow: "No, there's only love. And... some fear."
Anya: "Which is kind of thrown by the you having sex with Spike."
Buffy: "The... who whating how with huh?"
Anya: "Okay, that's denial. That usually comes before anger."
Buffy: "I am not having sex with Spike!"
Anya: "Anger."
Xander: "No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled."
Buffy: "I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be."
Xander: "Buffy, I saw you. Anya too. We saw you and Spike... with the straddling."
BuffyBot: "Spike's mine. Who's straddling Spike?"

Xander: "Hey, I know this! They're both Buffy!"
Buffy: No, she's a robot. She acts just like that girlfriend-bot that Warren guy made. You guys couldn't tell me apart from a robot?"
BuffyBot: "Oh, I don't think I'm a robot."
Anya: "She's very well done."
Xander: "Spike must have had her built so he could program her t-"
Buffy: "Oh god."
Willow: "Yikes. Imagine the things -"
Buffy: "No! No, no imagining. Any of you."
Xander: "Already got the visual."

Giles: "Quite extrordinary really."
BuffyBot: "Thank you. But I really think we should be listening to the other Buffy, Guy-les. She's very smart and she's gonna help us save Spike."
Giles: "Guy-les? Spike didn't even bother to program my name properly."

BuffyBot: "You're right. He's evil. But you should see him naked. I mean really."

Jinx: "Oh, Bob Barker!"
Murk: "We will bring you Bob Barker! We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Bark-"
Glory: "It is not Bob Barker, scabby morons! The key is new to this world... and Bob Barker is as old as grit. The vampire... is lying to me."
Spike: "Yeah... but it was fun. And guess what, bitch. I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key, cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot."
Glory: "I am a god."
Spike: "The god of what, bad home perms?"
Glory: "Shut up! I command you, shut up!"
Spike: "Yeah, okay, sorry, but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words, the Slayer... is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-god like you."

Giles: "But, uh, not to worry, you know, I'm sure we'll all be perfectly safe."
Dawn: "We're safe, right. And, uh, Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with."
Tara: "I-it sounded convincing when I thought it."

Xander: "God, I feel... kind of bad for the guy. Gets all whupped and his best toy gets taken away."

Buffy: "Spike! You're covered in sexy wounds."

Spike: "Cause Buffy... the other, not so pleasant Buffy... anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein in that much pain. Let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."

Buffy: "That... thing, it... it wasn't even real. What you did, for me, and Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it."

Episode Guide: Intervention

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- - last updated: 3-24-02 - -