Dawn: Candles?! We can't have candles?
Buffy: Dawn, it's magic clearance. Everything must go.
Dawn: B-but they're just candles!
Buffy: Well, yeah, you know, to you and me they're just candles, but to... witches they're... like bongs.

Buffy: Dawn, do me a favor, can you grab the fertility god statue on the desk over there?
Dawn: Kokopelli? No! I love him! And he was Mom's.

Buffy: What are you doing? And, here?
Spike: Just, uh, tool a stroll. Found myself in your neck of the woods.
Buffy: Couldn't find a less flammable time of day to take a stroll?

Spike: You know I love this hair. The way it bounces around when you... Ah-ah-ah! This flapjack's not ready to be flipped.
Buffy: What the hell is that supposed to... Stop that.
Xander: Good Godfrey Cambridge, Spike! Still trying to mack on Buffy? Wake up already. Never gonna happen! Only a complete loser would ever hook up with you.

Ms. Kroger: Um, Miss Summers, if you and your boyfriend would like to-
Buffy: He is NOT... Not my, my boyfriend, he's, um, just... a... Spike... this nice woman is, uh, from Social Services?
Spike: Oh, right! Uh... hey! Buffy's a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis. Like, um, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it.
Ms. Kroger: I'm sorry, did you say-
Buffy: Crib! He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin' street slang.

Ms. Kroger: He sleeps here?
Buffy: What? No! No. Oh, uh, the, the, the blanker. That's, um, uh, it's a securtiy thing, you know. He... has issues.

Buffy: Oh! Oh, it's not a gay thing, you know, I mean, well... she's gay, but, but we don't... gay. Not that there's anything- Oh! Wrong with... You know, I know what that looks like, but I, I swear, it's not... what it looks like. It's 'magic' weed. It's not mine.

Cleo: Well, I-I think I can work with this. What exactly would you like me to do?
Buffy: Just make me... different.

Andrew: Oopsie.

Xander: What happened to Buffy? She's gone.
Anya: She's right here. Table four. I put her with your family.
Xander: Great. Except, we don't hate Buffy.

Xander: Yeah, I'm less with the why and the more with the how. We get the how,then we got how to make her unseen sight seen again, right.

Spike: Whatever beastie you are, I know you're here. And I hurt beasties. Hey watch it. A ghost, is it? Go and haunt the living, like a good spook. Buffy?
Invisible Buffy: I told you... stop trying to see me.

Xander: What happened?
Anya: An unpleasant tactile experience, like putting my hand in pudding.
Xander: Ew!
Anya: Like pudding, am I right? Rice, or tapioca, lumpy like that.

Jonathan: We're not killers, we're crime lords.

Xander: Spike? What are you doing?
Spike: What am I... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I?
Xander: Exercising. Naked. In bed.
Spike: A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. Gotta keep fit for the killing.

Xander: No, uh, no. I'm looking for Buf-
Spike: Haven't seen her.
Xander: Well, uh, you wouldn't. The fact is, she's come down with a slight case of invisiblity.

Xander: After your... exercises.
Spike: Yeah, right.
Xander: You know, kidding aside, Spike... you really should get a girlfriend.
Spike: That was bloody stupid.
Invisible Buffy: What's the matter? Ashamed to be seen with me?

Spike: This vanishing act's right liberating for you, innit? Go anywhere you want. Do anything you want. Or anyone.
Invisible Buffy: What are you talking ab-
Spike: The only reason you're here, is that you're not here.

Spike: You need to go. Get dressed if you can find your clothes, and push off. Cause if I can't have all of you, I'd rather... Okay, that's cheating.

Invisible Buffy: Ooh, scary video carnage.
Invisible Warren: Hey! Slayer's here.
Invisible Andrew: Sorry, didin't see her.

Invisible Buffy: Oh. You. So what annoying thing are you gonna do to me now?

Invisible Jonathan: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Who's biting my leg?
Invisible Andrew: Sorry! Where is she?

Invisible Warren: You go that way.
Invisible Jonathan: Which way?
Invisible Warren: That way! Over...
Invisible Buffy: Just keep talking, boys.

Invisible Jonathan: Ow! Watch the chest hair!
Invisible Buffy: I know that voice. You- you're...
Buffy: Jonathan?! You have chest hair? Warren? Who are you?
Andrew: Andrew. I summoned the flying monkeys that attacked the high school? During the school play, you know?
Warren: It's Tucker's brother.
Jonathan: Yeah, it's Tucker's brother.
Buffy/Willow: Ohh.

Buffy: So you three have, what, banded together to be pains in my ass?
Warren: We're your arch nemesises... ses.

Warren: What do you mean, it's locked? You were supposed to check it!
Andrew: I forgot!
Buffy: I give you my arch nemesises... ses.

Willow; Oh my god, Buffy!
Buffy: I know, they're gone. I guess we should chase them.
Willow: No, your hair! It is adorable.

Buffy: Execept... when I got Xander's message... you know, that I was... fading away... I actually got scared.
Willow: Well, yeah. Who wouldn't?
Buffy: Me. I wouldn't. Not too long ago I probably would have welcomed it. But I realized... I'm not saying that I'm doing back-flips about my life, but... I didn't... I don't... wanna die. That's something right?
Willow: It's something. So I guess we both made good first steps.
Buffy: I guess.
Willow: Yay for us.
Buffy: Yay.

Episode Guide: Gone

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- - last updated: 1-27-02 - -