Jonathan: We rented the whole house, can't we at least sleep upstairs?
Andrew: We're on the lam. We have to lay low. Underground.
Jonathan: That's figurative, doofus.
Buffy: Oh. Hi. Um, you didn't by any chance just eat a bunch of nerds, did you?
Lorraine: I said, if I didn't know better I'd think you were on drugs.
Buffy: Okay. Sounds good.
Willow: They're probly just friends. I press my lips against my friends all the time.
Xander: Her suitcase was gone, some of her stuff. The Magic Box has a 'closed' sign, which, like, chills me to the bone --
Xander: Before she left, did she say anything?
Willow: You mean between the sobs? There were mostly just wheezing.
Buffy: She was kinda, she got a little broken.
Willow: So, you left her at the altar but... you still want...?
Buffy: You still want to date?
Buffy: Hey, we all screw up. And who knows, sometimes life gives us what we need anyway.
Spike: Families get outta hand, tear the place up?
Buffy: No. Well, yeah, absolutely. But the thing is, Xander left. Wedding didn't happen.
Spike: Gotta say, didn't see that coming.
Spike: Some people can't see a good thing when they've got it. End up dumping the one thing they've got going for em --
Xander: Why don't you do that, Spike? Run along.
Spike: Guess you know all bout that, doncha? King of the big exit. Heard it brought the house down.
Xander: You can't, I don't wanna hear this crap from you.
Spike: Right. Wouldn't wanna listen to Spike. Might get a bit a truth on you.
Willow: Okay, okay. Calm now. Let's turn around and release our very manly... thing... the other way.
Doctor: Buffy, do you know where you are?
Doctor: No, Buffy. None of that is real. None of it. You're in a mental institution. You're ill. You've been with us six years now, do you remember?
Spike: Put a little ice on the back of her neck. She likes that.
Buffy: They told me I was sick. Crazy, I guess. And that Sunnydale, and... all of this. None of it was real. Just part of some delusion in my head.
Xander: Come on! That's ridiculous! What, you think this isn't real just cause of all the vampires and the demons and the ex-Vengeance demons and the sister that used to be a ball of universe-destroying energy?... Well, I'm real.
Dawn: And the former ball of energy's glad you're back.
Doctor: Buffy's delusion is multi layered. She believes she's some type of hero --
Joyce: The Slayer.
Doctor: The Slayer, right. But that's only one level. She's also created an intricate lattice work to support her primary delusion. In her mind, she's the central figure in a fantastic world beyond imagination. She's surrounded herself with friends -- most with their own super powers -- who are as real to her as you or me. More so, unfortunately. Together they face overblown, grand conflicts against an assortment of monsters, both imaginary and rooted in actual myth. Every time we think we're getting through to her, more fanciful enemies magicaly appear and she --
Buffy: Enemies... Warren... Jonathan... They did this to me...
Doctor: Shh. It's all right. They can't hurt you here. You're with your family.
Hank: That's the sister, right?
Doctor: The magical 'key'. Buffy inserted Dawn into the delusion, actually rewriting the entire history of it to accommodate her need for a familial bond. But that created inconsistencies, didn't it? Your sister. Your friends. All the people you created in Sunnydale. They're not as comforting as they were, are they? They're coming apart.
Joyce: Buffy. Listen to the doctor. What he's saying is important.
Doctor: Buffy, we want to help you get better. And I think you want that too. Isn't that why your friends are doing these horrible things to each other? And your enemies -- look at them. You used to create grand villians to battle against. And now what is it? Just ordinary people you went to high school with. Not gods or monsters. Just three pathetic little men who like to play with toys.
Buffy: Will... I feel so lost.
Willow: I know. You're confused, but it's just the crazy juice inside you.
Buffy: It's more. Even before the demon. I've been so... detached.
Willow: We've all been kinda slumming.
Buffy: But it's been so long... And every day I try to snap out of it. To figure out why I'm like that. Well... maybe this is why.
Willow: No. Buffy look at me. You're not in an institution. You've never been in an institution.
Buffy: Yes I have.
Buffy: Back when I saw my first vampires... I got so scared. I told my parents about it. And they freaked out. Figured there was something seriously wrong with me. They sent me to a clinic.
Willow: You never said anything.
Buffy: I was only there a couple of weeks. I stopped talking about it so they let me go. And eventually, my parents just... forgot.
Willow: God. That's horrible.
Buffy: What if I never left? What if I'm still in that clinic?
Spike: On the other hand, could explain some things. This all being in that twisted brain of hers. Fix up some chip'n my head, make me soft so I'd fall in love wiht her, and then turn me into her sodden sex slave.
Spike: Nothing. Alternate realities, nitwit. Where we're all little figments of Buffy's funny farm delusion. In your case, her pathetic gofer figment.
Xander: Shut up.
Xander: You know, things really weren't this strange before Buffy showed. I mean, regular people, they don't know about demons. I, on the other hand, mysteriously keep falling for them. And Willow. A wicca? I mean, please, I still remember when magic was just tricks, bunnies and hats. And then the giant lizards at graduation, secret government agencies... and what the hell was Adam's plan supposed to be anyway, cause I still haven't figured ouaaAAAAHH!!
Spike: Oh, balls. You didn't say the thing was a Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik.
Xander: That's cause I can't say Glarma --
Xander: I altered his reality. Get it? I... never mind.
Buffy: I'm okay, Dawn.
Dawn: Yeah. The thousand-yard stare really helps sell that. You're burning up.
Buffy: I should be taller than you.
Dawn: Maybe you're not done growing.
Buffy: You need to leave me alone. You're not a part of my life...
Spike: Fine, then. But I hope you don't think this antidote's gonna rid you of that nasty martydom. See, I figured it out, luv. You can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark like I thought. You're addicted to the misery. It's why you won't tell your pals about us. Might actually have to be happy if you did. They'd either understand and help, God forbid, or drive you out where you can finally be at peace in the dark. With me. Either way you'd be better off. But you're too twisted for that. Let yourself live already. Stop with the bloody hero trip for a sec. We'll all be the better for it. Cause I'm done with it. You either tell your friends about us... or I will.
Joyce: Buffy, they're not really your friends. They're just tricks, keeping you from getting healthy.
Willow: No more Cookoo's Nest?
Xander: I so don't wanna see Spike right now. Talk about losing touch. I hate to say it, but I almost worry about him. Almost. The things the poor guy was saying... I mean, I get it. Been part of the Buffy obsession. But he's long past the days of pining. Noo it's like he's convinced he's having sex with you or -- Bu...?!
Dawn: Look at me, Buffy. I'm right here. You're my sister. I need you and love you. Somewhere inside, you must know that's real.
Buffy: Sure it is... Cause what's more real? A sick girl in an institution?
Dawn: Don't. Please, believe me!!
Buffy: Or some type of... supergirl. Chosen to fight demons and save the world? That's ridiculous. Girl that sleeps with the vampire she hates. Yeah. Cause that makes sense.
Dawn: STOP!! I'M REAL!!! BUFFY!!!
Joyce: Buffy, fight it! You can beat this thing. You're too good to give up. Be strong, honey. I know you're afraid. I know the world feels like a hard place sometimes, but you've got people that love you. Your dad and I, we have all the faith in the world in you. We'll always be with you. There's a world of strength in your heart, honey. I know there is. You just have to find it again. Believe in yourself.
Buffy: You're right... Thank you. Goodbye.
Doctor: I'm so sorry. There's no reaction at all. I'm afraid we've lost her.