Spike: How you doin'?
Buffy: Fine. You know... Same old same old.
Buffy: You tell them if you want. Go ahead. Rock the boat. Rock and roll it the hell over. My friends and I'll still be groovin with the movin. Know why? I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much they hate me now? Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... They'll deal.
Spike: In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?
Buffy: Because I don't love you.
Spike: Like Hell.
Willow: Look at you. All coming-out-of-class and everything.
Tara: I do that sometimes. Usually at the end part of the class.
Tara: So, this is becoming kind of a regular thing. You and me after class.
Willow: Uh, I didn't...
Tara: Only this time you stuck around.
Willow: Oh, um... various sounds of hesitation...
Tara: She was just a friend.
Willow: Friends are nice!
Tara: I wasn't gonna -- I mean, if you have a friend --
Willow: No! I'm, oh, I'm friendless.
Tara: Yeah, yeah. No friends -- I mean, I have friends...
Willow: Many dear friends, yeah. But --
Willow: With us. Who are... just friends.
Buffy: Yeah, but you stole a toothbrush. As a rebellious teenagers go, you're kinda square.
Dawn: Dental hygiene is important.
Buffy: Hey, you didn't steal anything from the pet store, did you?
Dawn: Pocketful of goldfish. Didn't work out. No.
Jonathan: I do this wrong, it's gonna surge and we'll be deader than an ex-girlfriend.
Andrew: I sorta feel kinda sorry for him.
Warren: That's a weakness.
Andrew: Um... okay.
Warren: Look at him!
Andrew: He's got that same look on his face, the one he had that time I highlighted in his Babylon 5 novels... Right before he told his mother on me! Warren! I don't think we can trust him.
Warren: We don't need to. Not for much longer.
Andrew: It's gonna be that soon?
Warren: The milk in the fridge? How long til it expires?
Andrew: Well, we got it on Friday. I remember noticing that there wasn't a full two weeks on it, but we did get it into the fridge pretty quick, unless I'm thinking of the two-percent...
Warren: Forget it. It was a thing. It's gonna be soon.
Andrew: Oh. Wow.
Anya: Actually, it's really not. Kind of an either-or deal. Do you want to get married?
Xander: Someday, yes, very much... When we're ready. I don't want you to take that as a bad thing, it's good, I love you, I love you so much, I'm just trying to be honest with you --
Anya: Yes, honesty now. Congratulations, Xander, for being honest now. I wonder what the medal will say.
Xander: Okay, clearly I'm not handling this well.
Anya: Well, duh.
Anya: I -- I wish you felt the pain of a thousand searing pokers boiling your heart in its own juices! Or, your pancreas!
Xander: I know, honey. I totally deserve that.
Anya: I wish you lived in a state of constant panic! I wish you had tentacles where your beady eyes should be! I wish your intestines were twisted into knots and ripped apart inside your lousy gut!
Xander: They are.
Anya: Really? Right now? Does it hurt?
Xander: God, yes. It hurts so bad it's killing me. Anya, I love you. I want to make this work.
Anya: Those are metaphor intestines! You're not in real pain! What's wrong with me?
Dawn: Uh, gosh. Did we open a chain? Are we the International House of something?
Buffy: I'm the embarrasing mom who tries to hard. When did this happen?
Anya: Actually, there is an eensy something I could use a little help with. You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. Let's talk about Xander.
Dawn: I never use that word anymore.
Anya: Oh, wish? As in I wish Xander--
Dawn: Right! That word. There's vengeance demons out there that are still active, remember. Any 'I wish' could totally end in horrible grossness.
Anya: Gimme a fer-instance.
Anya: Okay! Let's talk about torture!
Anya: Tell me more about wishing Xander's guts and brain would go blooey.
Dawn: I didn't say that.
Anya: Yes you did.
Dawn: No I didn't.
Anya: I heard you.
Dawn: I swear, I didn't say that.
Anya: Didn't say what?
Anya: Squish squish squish! Guys have been running roughshod over you for years. Torturing that perky little ticker. Aren't you sick of it? Don't you wish guys like that --
Buffy: Whoa, what guys? There have only been four -- three! Only three guys! That's barely plural.
Anya: And didn't each of them rip your heart out? Don't men like that, as to pick an example, Xander, deserve to be punished?
Anya: God! What kind of lesbian are you?! If you love men so much, go love men!
Buffy: Okay, see, this is why a heart to heart isn't your best course of action here. You're both upset and angry and what the hell is that creepy little thing doing in my yard? Did Willow put that there when I was dead? Cause if I had known, I would have crawled out of the grave sooner to kick her --
Spike: I don't hurt you.
Buffy: I know.
Spike: No, you don't. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it. Something happened to me. The way I feel... about you... It's different. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't. It's real.
Buffy: I think it is. For you.
Anya: To tell the truth, all I wanted was to use him and lose him. I hadn't had a good tumble in a thousand years-
Spike: Me too. The using part. I just wanted to know what I was missing, move on.
Anya: Then he was bumpy in the right places and nice to me...
Spike: She was so raw. Never felt anything like it...
Anya: Next thing I know, I'm changing to please him. I care if he cares.
Anya: I'm off my guard. Happy. I'm singing in the shower and doing my sexy dance-
Spike: Exact - I have no dance.
Willow: But, you know, who is the bigger nerd, the nerd, or the nerd who breaks through his defense system? Okay, no one answer that, please.
Spike: Absolutely. I have nothing but respect for a woman who is forthright. Drusilla was always straightforward. Didn't have a single buggering clue about what was going on right in front of her, but she was straight up about it. That's a virtue.
Anya: Xander didn't think so. He thought I was rude.
Spike: That's because he's one of them. Uptight. Repressed.
Anya: You think?
Spike: Please. It's no wonder they couldn't deal with the likes of you and me, Luv. We both should have been dead hundreds of years ago - and we're the only ones that are really alive.
Spike: He's have to be more than just the git he is, Anya. He'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to want a woman like you.
Anya: Then why?
Spike: The two of them, they're weak is all.
Warren: Guys, we have to -- holy crap. What is that, porn?
Jonathan: Oh my God.
Warren: Is that the cam in the Magic Box?
Jonathan: Oh my God.
Andrew: What are they... oh.
Warren: Is that --
Andrew: He is so cool... And, I mean, the girl is hot. Too.
Dawn: So... This is it. This is the stuff you've been protecting me from? You and Spike?
Buffy: And a lot of monsters.
Dawn: Uh huh.
Anya: No, the mature solution is to spend your whole life telling stupid pointless jokes so no one will notice you're just a scared, insecure little boy!
Xander: I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something, congratualtions. It worked. I look at you - I feel sick - cause you had sex with that.
Spike: Good enough for Buffy.
Xander: Shut up. Leave her out of... this.
Tara: Things fall apart, they fall so hard..
Tara: You can't ever put them back the way they were...
Willow: Are you okay?
Tara: I'm sorry, it's just... you know it takes time. You can't just have coffee and expect --
Willow: I know.
Tara: There's so much work though. Trust has to build again, on both sides... you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and importance process and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?