Buffy: Wow. A mugging. Haven't gotten one of those in a while. Usually it's blood, and with the horror... just a good old-fashioned mugging. Kinda sweet actually.

Spike: Remind me not to help you.
Buffy: More often?
Spike: Hey. Little sympathy for the man with the migraine here, can we?

Buffy: Just have to get your rocks off fightin demons.
Spike: There are other ways.

Spike: Oh, so you wanna jump right to the kissing, eh?
Buffy: I am not kissing you, Spike. Once was -
Spike: Twice.
Buffy: But not again.
Spike: You're a tease, you know that, Slayer? Get a fellow's motor revving, let the tension marinate a couple a days, then bam! Crown yourself the ice queen.
Buffy: Need a few more metaphors for that little mix?
Spike: It's only a matter of time before you realize I'm the only one here for you, pet. You got no one else!

Andrew: Whoa, head rush. Cool.

Andrew: See, that's cool. How come he gets to play with all the cool stuff?
Jonathan: Because I'm allergic to methane and you're still afraid of hot things.
Andrew: I know.
Jonathan: Besides, the tank kept making both of us tip over, remember?

Jonathan: Hey, that's really neato and stuff, but in the meantime, you know... ow!
Warren: Be a bigger wuss.
Jonathan: Can we just go backto the lair? Becasue... I can't... really feel my fingers.

Amy: It's crazy, all the things that've happened since I went away.
Buffy: No kidding.
Amy: Snyder got eaten by a snake... high school got destroyed...
Buffy: Oh, Gatorade has a new flavor. Blue.
Amy: See? Head spinning. People getting frozen... Willow's dating girls... and did you hear about Tom and Nicole?!

Spike: Uh, you know, as long as we're both here, you might as well tag alone. I mean as a team we could-
Buffy: Yeah, that never really ends well, does it?
Spike: It did the other night.
Buffy: You really seem awfully fixated on a couple of kisses, Spike.
Spike: And you seem awfully quick to forget about them.

Buffy: But... when I kissed you... you know I was thinking about Giles, right?
Spike: You know, I always wondered about you two.
Buffy: What? Oh, gross, Spike! He left. I was depressed. Ergo vulnerability and, and bad kissing decisions.

Spike: A man can change.
Buffy: You're not a man. You're a thing.

Spike: That's right, you should scream. Creature of the night here, yeah? Some people forget that.
Woman: Please.
Spike: She thinks I'm housebroken. She forgot who she's dealing with.
Woman: Anything you want, please-
Spike: Just cause she's confused about where she fits in, I'm supposed to be too? Cause I'm not. I know what I am. I'm dangerous. I'm evil.
Woman: I-I'm sure you're not evil.
Spike: Yes, I am. I am a killer. That's what I do. I kill. And, yeah, maybe it's been a long time, but... it's not like you forget how. You just... do it. And now I can, again, all right? So here goes. This might hurt a little... What the hell is going on?

Tara: Good god, that's a lot of shake. I mean, I know, part of our... big... movie and milkshake fun day, but... good god, that's a lot of shake.

Anya: It's such a pain. The text I wanted, Giles took it with him. He has this thing that... owning a book makes it like his property.

Jonathan: I didn't know it'd be so sparkly.
Andrew: It's so big.
Warren: Yes, gentlemen, it turns out, size is everything. No offense, man.

Spike: Knock knock, robot boy. Need you to look at my chip.
Jonathan: Is that like, British slang or something? Cause we're not-
Spike: In my head, the chip in my head.

Spike: Help me out here, Spock, I don't speak loser.

Spike: It's about the rules having changed. Everything's different now. Nothing wrong with me. Something wrong with her.

Amy: So what's she like?
Willow: Thousand-year-old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: Well, that's so his type.

>Buffy: I know. But I-I think she'll be fine. You know, it's, it's Willow. She of the level head.
Anya: Well, those are the ones you have to watch out for the most. Responsible types.
Buffy: Right, she might go crazy and start alphabetizing everything.

Xander: It's gotta be seductive. Just giving in to it. Going totally wild. We need to keep an eye on her.
Buffy: Okay. Okay, we'll, we'll keep an eye. But we can't assume that everybody's getting seduced.

Spike: Something like that, yeah. Thought you might be up for a little grunt work.
Buffy: What?! No, no-no grunting!
Spike: I was talking shop, luv, but if you got other ideas... you, me, cozy little tomb with a view...

Buffy: I'm just saying, all the things that have happened lately? Okay, the, the bank robbery, the jewelry heist...
Xander: The exploding lint.
Buffy: I-is it me, or do these things seem really-
Anya: Lame?
Buffy: Well, I was gonna go with unusual, but, yeah.

Anya: Optimism. I remember optimism.
Xander: That's because you're like a thousand.

Spike: Oh, the pain! The pain! is gone. Guess what I just found out. Looks like I'm not as toothless as you thought, sweetheart.
Buffy: How?
Spike: Don't you get it? Don't you see? You came back wrong.

Spike: Oh, poor little lost girl. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love.
Buffy: Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot! Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in? Your job is to kill the Slayer. But all you can do is follow me around making moon eyes.
Spike: I'm in love with you.
Buffy: You're in love with pain. Admit it. You like me... because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's screwed up?
Spike: Hello! Vampire! I"m supposed to be treading on the dark side. What's your excuse?

Spike: I wasn't planning on hurting you. Much.
Buffy: You haven't even come close to hurting me.
Spike: Afraid to give me the chance? You afraid I'm gonna-

Episode Guide: Smashed

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- - last updated: 1-27-02 - -