Lies My Parents Told Me

Spike: "Well, all right. Got the moves, don't you? I'm gonna ride you hard before I put you away, luv."
Nikki: "You sure about that? You actually look a little wet and limp to me. And I ain't your luv."

Spike: "Don't want the dance to end so soon, do you, Nikki? The music's just starting, isn't it?... By the way... love the coat."

Nikki: "But remember, Robin honey, what we talked about. Always got to work the mission. Look at me. You know I love you but I got a job to do. The mission is what matters... right?"

Spike: "Little tip, mate. Stake's your friend. Don't be afraid to use it... What?"
Wood: "Just waiting for my moment."

Buffy: "Situation still normal. Or as normal as this school ever sees."

Buffy: "Hey, any apocalypse I avert without dying? Yeah, those are the easy ones."

Giles: "Everything's terrible. Total catastrophe."
Buffy: "Giles, what's wrong?"
Giles: "Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen."

Giles: "Knowledge comes from crafted bindings and pages, Buffy, not ones and zeroes."

Giles: "It's a long story."
Buffy: "The military put a chip in Spike's head so he couldn't hurt anyone."
Giles: "And that would be the abridged version."
Buffy: "But he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore because he has a soul now."
Giles: "Unless The First triggers him again."
Wood: "Triggers the chip?"
Buffy: "No, the trigger's a post-hypnotic thing. The First put it in his head. It made him... he was killing again."
Wood: "So he has a trigger, a soul and a chip?"
Giles: "Not anymore."
Buffy: "It was killing him, Giles."
Wood: "The trigger?"
Buffy: "No, the chip. The trigger's not active anymore."
Wood: "Because the military gave him a soul?... Sorry."

Buffy: "It was boring, old and English. Just like you-ull. Yule Brenner. A British Yule Brenner."

Spike: "Oh, bollix. With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain."
Giles: "I don't think it takes up that much space, do you?"

Anne: "You shouldn't be alone. You need a woman in your life."

Willow: "Doesn't look like anything's broken."
Dawn: "Did you use some sort of magick x-ray?"
Willow: "No, that's just what people usually say."

Anya: "Forgiveness makes us human, blah-dee-blah-blah-blah."

Andrew: "Willow, call for you from LA. Somebody named Fred. The guy sounds kind of effeminate."

Drusilla: "Oh, such a pretty house you have, sweet William. It smells of daffodils... and viscera."

Spike: "We'll ravage this city together, my pet. Lay waste to all of Europe. The three of us will teach those snobs and elitists with their folderol just what-"
Drusilla: "Three?"
Spike: "You, me and mother. We'll open up their veins and bathe in their blood as they scream our names across - What?"
Drusilla: "You... you want to bring your mum wif us?"

Anne: "I... I don't... who's this woman?"
Drusilla: "I'm the other that gave birth to your son."
Anne: "I beg your pardon?"
Spike: "It's true, mother. Drusilla, she has made me what I am."

Giles: "Spike killed your mother."
Wood: "Yes."
Giles: "Does Buffy know this?"
Wood: "She knows my mother was a Slayer. She doesn't know about Spike."
Giles: "And this has nothing to do with personal vengeance?"
Wood: "Does it matter?"

Giles: "We're on the verge of war. It's time you looked at the big picture."
Buffy: "Hello! All I do is look at the big picture. The other day I gave an inspirational speech to the telephone repairman."
Giles: "It takes more than rousing speeches to lead, Buffy. If you're going to be a general, you need to be able to make difficult decisions regardless of cost."

Wood: "What kind of man are you, Spike?"
Spike: "Sorry. Not much for self-reflection."
Wood: "Yeah, makes sense. See, you strike me as the kind of guy who just careens through life completely oblivious to the damage he's doing to everyone around him."

Spike: "Tell me, what's your pleasure?"
Anne: "Pleasure? To take my leave of you, of course. "The lark hath spake from twixt its wee beak?" You honestly thought I could bear an eternity listening to that twaddle?"

Wood: "That's right, dog. Fight back."

Anne: "Ever since the day you first slithered from me like a parasite..."
Spike: "What are you s-"
Anne: "Had I known better, I could have spared myself a lifetime of tedium and just - dashed your brains out when I first saw you. God, I prayed you'd find a woman to release me but you scarcely showed an interest. Who could compare to your doddering housebound mum? A captive audience for your witless prattle."
Spike: "Whatever I was, that's not who I am anymore."
Anne: "Darling, it's who you'll always be. A limp, sentimental fool."

Giles: "Would you let this vampire live if he began saving the world?"
Buffy: "Sure. Seems like a nice enough guy."
Richard: "Thanks."
Buffy: "No problem."
Richard: "My name's Richard."
Buffy: "Hi, Rich."

Buffy: "Giles, we had this conversation when I told you that I wouldn't sacrifice Dawn to stop Glory from destroying the world."
Giles: "Ah, yes, but things are different now, aren't they? After what you've been through, faced with the same choice now, you'd let her die."
Buffy: "If I had to... to save the world. Yes."

Wood: "Animal like you never cared for anyone but yourself. No one else mattered. Just all about the hunt."

Anne: "Do you think you'll be able to love her? Think you'll be able to touch her without feeling me? All you ever wanted was to be back inside. You finally got your wish, didn't you? Sank you teeth into me. An eternal kiss."

Anne: "Who's my dark little prince?"

Wood: "You took my childhood. You took her away. She was all I had. She was my world."
Spike: "And you weren't hers. Doesn't that piss you off?"
Wood: "Shut up! You didn't know her."
Spike: "I know Slayers. No matter how many people they've got around them, they fight alone. Life of the Chosen One. The rest of us be damned. Your mother was no different."

Spike: "I'll tell you a story about a mother and son. See, like you, I loved my mother. So much so I turned her into a vampire so we could be together forever. She said some nasty bits to me after I did that. Been weighing one me for quite some time. But you helped me figure something out. You see, unlike you, I had a mother who loved me back. When I sired her, I set loose a demon and it tore into me but it was the demon talking, not her. I realize that now. My mother loved me with all her heart. I was her world."

Buffy: "Oh, my god. You're stalling me. You're keeping me away-"
Giles: "It's time to stop playing the role of general and start being one. This is the way wars are won!"

Buffy: "I'm preparing to fight a war and you're looking for revenge on a man that doesn't exist anymore."
Wood: "Buffy, don't delude yourself. That man still exists."

Buffy: "You try anything again, he'll kill you. More importantaly, I'll let him. I have a mission to win this war, to save the world. I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters."

Giles: "What I told you is still true. You need to learn-"
Buffy: "No, I think you've taught me everything I need to know."

Episode Guide: Lies My Parents Told Me

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- - last updated: 4-11-03 - -