Dirty Girls
Shannon: "Thank you. Thank god you were there."
Caleb: "Well, let's not give him credit for everything."
Caleb: "Look, I don't mean to pry but those boys, they looked like... well, you didn't happen to fall in with devil worshippers, did you?"
Shannon: "Thanks, Father...?"
Caleb: "Call me Caleb. Never was nobody's daddy."
Caleb: "Well, Shannon, you feel like telling me why those freaky joes were after you?"
Shannon: "I'm not sure."
Caleb: "Well, do you ever think that maybe they were chasing you because you're a whore?"
Shannon: "What?"
Caleb: "Now I know what you're thinking. Crazy preacher-man, spoutin off at the mouth about the Whore of Babylon or somesuch. That ain't me. I'm not here to lecture you. I mean, what's the point? My words just curdle in your ears. Wouldn't take in a thing. Head filled with so much filth that there ain't no room for words of truth. Well, you know what you are, Shannon? Dirty."
Shannon: "What? I'm not! What-"
Caleb: "Now, now, now... there's no blame here. You were born dirty. Born without a soul. Born with that gaping maw that wants to open up and suck out a man's marrow. It makes me puke to think too hard on it."
Shannon: "Your boys?"
Caleb: "Well, they ain't exactly my blue-eyed boys but they're hard workers. And they don't truck with Satan. That was just me havin fun. Satan is a little man."
Faith: "Yep. Guess I'm back in Sunnydale."
Willow: "We'll know more when she regains consciousness."
Faith: "If she regains consciousness. Girl's been gutted like a catfish."
Willow: "Yeah."
Faith: "Something's killing girls all over the world, trying to end the Slayer line... thing like that, I figure I might get a heads-up."
Willow: "Faith..."
Faith: "I guess it doesn't really matter. As long as you got the true Slayer intact."
Willow: "You were in prison. We figured you were safe there."
Faith: "Yeah, that's prison. Safe as a kitten."
Spike: "Nice punch you got there. Let me guess. Leather pants, nice right cross, doe eyes, holier-than-thou glower... you must be Faith."
Faith: "Oh, goody. I'm famous."
Spike: "Bloody hell! What are you doing? I'm on your side."
Faith: "Yeah? Maybe you haven't heard. I've reformed."
Spike: "So have I. I reformed way before you did. Stop... hitting... me! We're on the same side."
Faith: "Please. Do you think I'm stupid?"
Spike: "Well... yeah."
Faith: "You're protecting vampires? Are you the bad Slayer now?... Am I good Slayer now?"
Buffy: "He's with me. He has a soul."
Faith: "What? He's like Angel?"
Spike: "No!"
Buffy: "Sort of."
Spike: "I'm nothing like Angel."
Buffy: "He fights on my side... which is more than I can say for some of us."
Buffy: "That's one of the bad guys."
Faith: "You should make em wear signs."
Spike: "Angel's dull as a table lamp and we have very different coloring."
Spike: "Not all the tension was about you. Giles was part of a plan to kill me... for Buffy's own good."
Faith: "Well, that makes me feel better about me... worse about Giles... kinda shaky about you."
Caleb: "'Drink of this... for it is my blood'. You know I always loved the story of the Last Supper. The body and blood of Christ becoming rich red wine. I recall as a boy, though, I couldn't help but think, what would happen if you were at the Last Supper and you ordered the white? A nice oaky Chardonnay or white Zin? I mean, would he make that out of his lymph or some all? Never did bring it up. I suppose there was a reason why I never spent too long in one parish. Just looking for answers. Just looking for the Lord in the wrong damn places... and then you showed me the light."
The First/Buffy: "Do you think I'm god?"
Caleb: "I certainly do not. I am beyond concepts like that."
The First/Buffy: "But you still wear the outfit."
Caleb: "Man can't turn his back on what he comes from. Besides, black is slimming. Everyone knows that."
The First/Buffy: "How do you like what I'm wearing?"
Caleb: "Just another dirty girl. And since you only dress up in dead folk, I'm guessin one who's alread been paid her wage."
The First/Buffy: "Look hard. What do you see?"
Caleb: "Strength. And the loneliness that comes with real strength."
The First/Buffy: "Nothing about my pert and bouncy hairdo?"
Caleb: "You're her..."
The First/Buffy: "The Slayer."
Caleb: "Curiosity. Woman's first sin. I offer her an apple, what can she do but take it?"
Andrew: "Faith, her name alone invokes awe. Faith: a set of principles or beliefs upon which you're willing to devote you life. The Dark Slayer. A lethal combination of beauty, power and death. For years and years - or to be more accurate - months, Faith fought on the side of good, terrorizing the evil community. But like so many tragic heroes, Faith was seduced by the lure of the dark side. She wrapped evil around her like a large evil Mexican serape. She became a cold-blooded killer. Nobody was immune to her trail of destruction. Not friends, not family, not even the most pacifist and logical of races."
Amanda: "I thought Faith killed a volcanologist."
Andrew: "Silly, silly Amanda. Why would Faith kill a person who studies Vulcans?"
Amanda: "He studied volcanoes. He was a professor."
Wood: "I'll be okay. Unless, of course, you start beating up on me now."
Buffy: "I won't. Well, I thought about it. I made some doodles."
Buffy: "I don't want to lead them into war. It can't be the right thing."
Wood: "Most wars aren't, you know."
Faith: "No more Starbucks for the wanna-be's, man. They've been spazzing for like hours."
Faith: "It's all old hat, man. Every guy's got some whack fantasy. Scratch the surface of any granola-type dude - naughty nurses and horny cheerleaders. I figure if you can't beat em..."
Spike: "Join em."
Faith: "Just don't forget who's on top."
Spike: "That, I suspect, would be you."
Faith: "You got that right."
Faith: "I might have said a few things."
Spike: "Like you could ride me at a gallp till my knees buckled. Squeeze me til I popped like warm champagne. That's not the kind of thing a man forgets."
Caleb: "The words I use got a power to em. A power, now. They're not just words. They're truth."
Betty: "They brought me here."
Caleb: "They called you. Know why? Because you're human. You got your urges. A woman's got hers. A man's got his. Our whole race can be so damnably weak... and that's why we seek the strength, the power."
Betty: "It's not wrong to be drawn to the power... is it, preacher?"
Caleb: "Oh, no, child. It's not wrong... just human."
The First/Buffy: "All these girls... they followed you willingly. You tricked them."
Caleb: "I only told them the truth. As for following, well... that seems to be what they do best."
Buffy: "I am through waiting around for people to attack us."
Faith: "Hey, I'm with you. Drop me in the hornet's nest. What the hell."
Xander: "And here's a handy rule: don't go for the flashy tentacles just because they're waving them about trying to get attention. Go for the center. Brain, heart, eyes. Everything's got eyes."
Dawn: "Except for the Bringers."
Xander: "Except for the Bringers."
Molly: "I don't want there to be tentacles. I'm not good with squishy."
Andrew: "Godzilla is mostly Tokyo-based so he's probably a no-show."
Amanda: "Besides, Matthew Broderick can kill Godzilla. How tough is he?"
Andrew: "Xander!"
Xander: "Matthew Broderick did not kill Godzilla. He killed a big dumb lizard that was not the real Godzilla."
Faith: "Damn. I never knew you were that cool."
Buffy: "Well, you always were a little slow."
Faith: "I get that now."
Xander: "So what's the signal?"
Buffy: "I'm thinking lots and lots of yelling."
Xander: "Got it."
Caleb: "Well, now! You girls are just burnin with righteousness, aren't you? Problem is you think you're blazin like suns when really you're burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness. You havin fun? Now I hope my boys haven't worn you out too much. I need you fit for when I purify you."
Caleb: "So you're the Slayer. The Slayer. The strongest, the fastest, the most aflame with that most precious invention of all mankind: the notion of goodness. Well, the Slayer must indeed be powerful... So what else you got?"
Caleb: "Why you're the other one, aren't you? The Cain to her Abel. No offense meant to Cain, of course."
Faith: "Never was much for the good book."
Caleb: "Oh, it has its moments. Paul has some good stuff, for instance, but overall I find it a tad complicated. I like to keep things simple."
Caleb: "Good folk, bad folk... clean folk, dirty folk."
Caleb: "What can I say? I work in mysterious ways... Also some fairly straightforward ones."
Caleb: "You're the one who sees everything, aren't you? Well, let's see what we can do about that."
Caleb: "Now it's a simple story. Stop me if you've heard it. I have found and truly believe that there's nothing so bad it cannot be made better with a story. And this one's got a happy ending. There once was a woman and she was foul, like all women. For Adam's rib was dirty, just like Adam himself, for what was he but human? But this woman, she was filled with darkness, despair... and why? Because she did not know. She could not see. She didn't know the good news, the glory that was coming. That'd be you. For the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory are yours. Now and forever. You show up, they'll get in line... because they followed her and all they have to do is take one more step and I'll kill them all. See? I told you it had a happy ending."