Kennedy: "All I'm saying is that now that Buffy's not here, we finally have some say in how and when we lose our necks."
Wood: "Maybe you don't have to be so blunt about the losing of the necks bit."
Anya: "Let the girl speak the truth. We're all on death's door, repeatedly ringing the doorbell, like maniacal Girl Scouts trying to make quota."

Willow: "I think we're wasting our time arguing about how to argue."

Vi: "I think I'm freaking out."

Buffy: "I thought the place would be empty. I was looking for a place to crash. You know, you really should leave."
Man: "You can't just kick me out of my own house."
Buffy: "Why not? It's what all the cool kids are doing nowadays... It's not your house. It's not your town. Not anymore... Got any Tab?"

Andrew: "Don't spaz out."

Spike: "What's the matter with you? Don't you understand what's happening?"
Andrew: "Yeah. We're waiting here till it's night so you can ride on your motorcycle without exploding."

Faith: "All right, so what do we know?"
Xander: "Well, we know we're basically the last humans left in Sunnydale."
Caridad: "And that like all the evil in town wants us dead."
Vi: "I don't want to die."
Anya: "Don't worry. It's far more likely that you'll live long enough to watch most of your friends die first. And then you'll die."

Faith: "Who exactly do we have here?"
Dawn: "Well, there's The First. Who we can't touch."
Xander: "And there's our friends the Reverend I-Hate-Women."
Anya: "Who's basically untouchable."
Dawn: "And there's the roid-rage vamps, who are pretty much the worst and the-"
Faith: "Bringers. I think they're our weakest link."
Giles: "Are you thinking of attacking the Bringers?"
Faith: "Maybe or... okay, we could kidnap one."
Kennedy: "And what? Hold it for ransom?"
Xander: "Yeah, I'll get the magazines and start ripping out the letters now. 'Dear Mr. First, if you want your Bringer back... well, we'll be surprised because you've got like three million of them so please disregard this letter. Yours sincerely-"
Faith: "I'm saying we think about getting us a Bringer and making it talk."

The First/Buffy: "Is this going to do anything? Or is all of this just to make the Bringers sweat?... Do the Bringers sweat?"
Caleb: "Actually, I think they pant like dogs."

The First/Buffy: "You realize what will happen if the Slayer and her girls get it, don't you?"
Caleb: "They won't."
The First/Buffy: "That's right, they won't. Because you're going to kill all of them and everyone they know."
Caleb: "Hallelujah."

Kennedy: "I've never been the bait before. That was... actually kind of scary."

Giles: "Your performance as a disgruntled minion was spot on."
Kennedy: "I'm method."

Giles: "The Bringer's dumb."
Anya: "And you were expecting, what? A Rhodes Scholar?"
Giles: "Dumb as in mute."
Faith: "Someone ripped out its tongue."

Dawn: "I've been reading this old Turkish spell book. There's an old conjuration that the ancient Turks used to communicate with the dying."
Willow: "Oh, yeah. I think I've read a translation of that."
Dawn: "There's a translation of it?... I'm over it. So the spell is to communicate with people who can't talk. Like if a person was dying, this spell would allow them to say their goodbyes or, you know, gripe about how nobody came to visit them."

Andrew: "Hi, everybody. I missed you guys a lot. Sorry we took so long getting back from our mission but we had to wait out the sun and, well, I think our mission went very well. We rode on Spike's hog, which was very cool, and played some amusing games and, oh, we got some information. But do you know what? I really need to urinate."
Spike: "He's a breath of fresh air, isn't he? Thank god I don't breathe."

Spike: "Uh-huh. I see. Been practicing that speech long, have you? So Buffy took some time off right in the middle of the apocalypse and it was her decision?"

Spike: "Rupert. You used to be the big man, didn't you? The teacher, all full of wisdom. Now she's surpassed you and you can't handle it. She has saved your lives again and again. She has died for you. And this is how you thank her?"

Faith: "Save your lack of breath."

Andrew: "I am a drone in the mind that is evil."
Xander: "Could you just shut up?"
Andrew: "I say I am a part of the Great Darkness."
Kennedy: "Somebody needs a reality check."
Xander: "And a muzzle."

Andrew: "I am only a fragment of the We. We work as one to serve The First."
Willow: "Okay, what do you - the We - do for The First?"
Andrew: "We work to prepare for the inevitable battle."

Andrew: "We attend to the needs of the infinite evil. We exterminate girls and destroy the legacy of the Slayer. We build an arsenal beneath the dirt. We obey the commands of our teacher, Caleb."
Xander: "Wait, could we go back to the dirt thing?"
Andrew: "We build weapons to prepare for the coming war. At the farthest edge of town. We are everywhere. We are like the ocean's waves. We watch your efforts and are not scared. We will laugh at you as you die."

Andrew: "What the bananas! You are so lucky that you did not just magickally decapitate me!"

Andrew: "I feel used and violated... and I need a lozenge."

Spike: "You were right. Buffy?"
Buffy: "I don't feel very right."
Spike: "You're not fooling me."
Buffy: "What do you mean?"
Spike: "Well, you're not a quitter."
Buffy: "Watch me."
Spike: "You were their leader and you still are. This isn't something you gave up. It's something they took."
Buffy: "And the difference is?"
Spike: "We can take it back."

The First/Mayor Wilkins: "Well, gosh! I think a 'Hello' or a 'Nice to see you' might be a little more welcome. It's the end of humanity Faith, not he end of courtesy."

The First/Mayor Wilkins: "I am part of The First, as you kids call it, but I'm also me. Richard Wilkins III, late mayor and founder of Sunnydale. Here, I'll prove it to you. Ask me a question only I know the answer to. Something like... where did I hide the moon pies in my office or who was my favorite character in Little Women. Meg. I know! Most people guess Beth but Meg, she's such a proper young lady. Remember when Jo burned her hair?"

The First/Mayor Wilkins: "Hey, hey, hey! Language. You're a leader now. You keep throwing the H-E-double-hockey-sticks around, pretty soon the girls are goin to pick up on it. Then what?"

The First/Mayor Wilkins: "No matter what you do, Buffy will always see you as a killer, not as a person. And now you have what she so desperately wants - the respect of these girls. All she needs is an excuse and she'll finish what she started when she stuck that knife in your belly. You stay on guard, Faith. Buffy's dangerous. If you're not careful, she'll destroy you... I'm just saying..."

Spike: "You mean 'no' as in 'eventually'?"
Buffy: "You really have problems with that word, don't you?"

Spike: "There's always casualties in a war."
Buffy: "Casualties... it just sounds so casual. These are girls. That I got killed... I cut myself off from them, all of them. I knew I was going to lose some of them and I didn't... You know what? I'm still making excuses. I've always cut myself off, I've always... being the Slayer made me different but it's my fault I stayed that way. People are always trying to connect to me but I just... slip away... You should know."

Buffy: "We were never close. You just wanted me because I was unattainable."

Buffy: "The stage is yours. Cheer me up."
Spike: "You're insufferable."
Buffy: "Thank you. That really helped."
Spike: "I'm not trying to cheer you up."
Buffy: "Then what are you trying to say?"
Spike: "I don't know! I'll know when I'm done saying it. Something pissed me off and I just... unattainable! That's it."
Buffy: "Fine. I'm attainable. I'm an attain-athon. Can I please just go to sleep?"
Spike: "You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain so I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman."

Buffy: "Spike?... Could you stay here?"
Spike: "Sure. That diabolical torture device, the comfy chair. Do me fine."
Buffy: "No. I mean... here. Will you just hold me?"

Wood: "That's exactly what The First does. Finds your Achilles heel."
Faith: "Nah, it just talked to me. What? It does a heel thing, too?"
Wood: "It's a phrase. Your weak spot."
Faith: "Oh. The school thing. I was kind of absent that decade."

Wood: "Listen, nobody wants to be alone, Faith. We all want someone who cares, to be touched that way. I mean, The First may deal in figments but that wanting is real."

Faith: "Forget about tomorrow. This is tonight."

Anya: "They could have a little respect, you know. I mean, they should at least acknowledge the fact that some people might not want to listen to an a cappella concert of people moaning and groaning... It's disgusting is what it is."
Xander: "A little jealous, huh?"
Anya: "Of course I am! I'm a lot jealous. I mean, if we're done having sex, then I think other people should just knock it off."

The First/Buffy: "I envy them. Isn't that the strangest thing?"
Caleb: "Well, it doesn throw me a tad. I mean, they're just... well, they're barely more than animals, feedin off each other's flesh. It's nauseating. But you... you're everywhere. You're in the hearts of little children, you're in the souls of the righ, you're the fire that makes people kill and hate. The fire that will cure the world of weakness. They're just sinners. You are sin."
The First/Buffy: "I do enjoy your sermons."
Caleb: "And you're in me. Gave me strength no man can have."
The First/Buffy: "You're the only man strong enough to be my vessel. And I know you feel me but... I know why they grab at each other. To feel. I want to feel. I want to wrap my hands around an innocent neck and feel it crack."
Caleb: "Amen."

Wood: "Where do you want me, Faith?"
Faith: "By your phone. I'll call you when I need you."

Caleb: "Well, if it ain't the prodigal Slayer..."

Caleb: "I lay one hand on you and you're just a dead little girl."
Buffy: "Lay a hand on me. If you can."

Caleb: "You whore."
Buffy: "You know, you really should watch your language. If someone didn't know you, they might thing you were a woman-hating prick."

Faith: "Everybody get down!"

Episode Guide: Touched

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- - last updated: 5-19-03 - -