Xander: "You're going to live in that small room over there. I know it looks like a closet but it's a room now. You're not going to touch my food. I take the first shower in the morning and if I use up all the hot water, that's your tough noogies. And I hate this plan. Are you keeping up or do you need some kind of English-to-Constant-Pain-in-My-Ass translation?"

Xander: "I just don't understand when his problems became your problems - more specifically mine."
Buffy: "The school basement is making him crazy. We can't just leave him there."
Xander: "Why not? Crazy Basement Guy is better than Stalking Buffy Guy."

Dawn: "You guys aren't... you're not starting up again with the whole-"
Buffy: "No! A thousand gallons of no, okay. It's just... things are different now. He has a soul."
Xander: "I'm sure that'll be a real comfort when he soulfully attacks you again."
Dawn: "Yeah, what does that mean exactly? That Spike is all soul-having?"

Buffy: "Okay, you've been out of the basement for half an hour and you've already stopped talking to invisible people."
Spike: "Bollocks."
Buffy: "Okay, so there was that one episode in the car but-"

Buffy: "Now go to your closet."

Dawn: "Is sitting there drinking a soda some kind of a Zen non-answer?"
Buffy: "No, I just... I don't know what I'm feeling. I think I can't stand him but sometimes..."
Dawn: "You love him?"
Buffy: "No. I feel for him."

Dawn: "I just don't see why people bother. I mean, you put all this energy into chasing and having and brooding and - I just don't understand these relationships where you all do insane things."
Buffy: "Bye, rant girl."

Anya: "Maybe I'm not even the right Anyanka. Ever think about that? There's tons of Anyanka's out there. Maybe one of them pissed off this - what did you say his name was? D'Hoffryneffer?"

Buffy: "Good think I stopped by and heard screaming."

Anya: "Well, thank you for the generous life-saving. Now please go away. Look, I don't need anyone's help. Or, okay, clearly I do but I don't want to need anyone's help, so stop helping."

Lori: "Okay. Thank you. Very... spirited."

Dawn: "RJ's never going to notice me now."
Buffy: "From what you said, I'm sure he already noticed you. I mean, with the falling and the-... Spirit! Spirit. They said you were spirited, right?"

Xander: "Remember when she used to have a crush on me? I miss the much cuter 'me' crush."

Buffy: "You shredded my outfit."
Dawn: "I'll buy you a new one."
Buffy: "That's not the point. I don't want a new cheerleading outfit."
Xander: "Now, now, let's not be hasty... Not the right time."

Xander: "It's the jacket. It's true. Something about the big letter on the chest makes girls get all swoony and crushy. I saw it all the time in school. And you couldn't just pin any old felt letter to your coat and get play... Not that I tried."

Dawn: "Maybe I don't want advice from the Dysfunction Queen."

RJ: "That sucks, facing the whole inquisition thing."
Dawn: "Yeah. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition... God, it's like I have a disease or something."

Xander: "Well, Spike definitely seems a little more cogent, less nuts. I'm just saying... once you get back the soul, doesn't that mean you start like picking up your own wet towels off the floor?"
Willow: "No, but maybe you start to feel really bad about leaving them there."
Buffy: "At least he's showering and that's a refreshing and delightful change."

Xander: "Oh. Oh, no! Daddy... no, I wasn't - when I was looking, I wasn't... oh, god!"
Willow: "Right there with ya."

Buffy: "So do you have plans later or are you just going to go down to the docks and wait for the fleet to come in?"
Dawn: "What?"
Buffy: "Where do I start with the bad? First, you told me you were going to the library. Second, you do not go out on a date without informing me first. Third, Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look tacky."

Buffy: "I don't like this. This boy has you acting crazy."

Buffy: "Okay, first with the lap dance, now with the cat fight. Hey, you want to get drunk and barf next?"

Wood: "Oh, sweet infectious enthusiasm."

Buffy: "Whoa. Hang on there slappy. I'm not done with you yet."

Buffy: "I'm there. Or at least I was there whe I was still in high school. Which was just a couple of years ago, really. You know, I just realized that I'm basically the same age as you. I'm not really older at all, actually. Just like you but with the sexual experience and stuff."
RJ: "I think I hear what you're saying."

Dawn: "Tell me what he said about me - every word - including intonation and facial expressions."

Dawn: "Oh, my god! I'm the pushy queen of Slut Town."

Xander: "Dawn? What's wrong? Is this... did that guy in the jacket-"
Dawn: "Uh! I don't even want to hear his name anymore!"
Xander: "I just called him 'that guy in the jacket'."
Dawn: "That's what I used to call him in my head before I knew his real name!"

Xander: "I thought this was about that guy in the - that guy with the thing."

Xander: "Buffy, I think Dawn needs y- ahhh!"

Xander: "Now get off the boy, Buffy. We're going home."

Buffy: "Did you hear that? It isn't real. You're just crazy."

Buffy: "I betrayed you? You're the one that constructed this elaborate fantasy about you and my lover."
Dawn: "Your lover? Your lover!"

Dawm: "You're not supposed to do this."
Buffy: "Why? Because he's younger than me? You know, I'm extremely youthful and peppy."

Anya: "Crazy little lust puppies, aren't they?"
Xander: "Well, at least the yelling went away. It was starting to sound like Christmas morning with my family."
Willow: "Love spells. People forget how dangerous they can be."
Xander: "Hey, been there... Good times."

Buffy: "That spell has her good and loopy."

Willow: "Damn love spell. I have tried every anti-love spell spell I could find."
Anya: "Even if you find the right one, the guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love spell spell... spell."
Willow: "What?"

Anya: "No Buffy for you. Leave quickly now."

Anya: "I looked into him and saw his soul."
Willow: "He was walking away, so unless his soul was in his ass..."

Buffy: "Willow, you're a gay woman and... he isn't."
Willow: "This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart."
Anya: "His physical presence has a penis!"
Willow: "I can work around it!"

Anya: "I'd kill for him."
WIllow: "You'd kill for a chocolate bar."

Willow: "I can prove my love with magick."
Anya: "Yeah, right. What're you going to do? Use magick to make him into a girl?... Damn!"

Xander: "What the hell are you doing?"
Willow: "Proving I love RJ the most!"
Xander: "Will, honey... RJ's a guy."
Willow: "I did notice that, yeah. It's why I'm doing my spell, because, you know, he doesn't have to be."

Buffy: "Well, I've got a principal to kill."

Buffy: "You realize that Anya's probably seducing RJ even as we speak."
Willow: "My god. You think so?"
Buffy: "Well, I wouldn't put it past her. She's recently evil, you know.'
Willow: "Well, so am I. Why should I miss out?"

Buffy: "No guy is worth your life - not ever."

Buffy: "I would give him to you in a second if I could. That's how much you're scaring me."
Dawn: "But I thought you wanted him... for you."
Buffy: "Nah. Well, yeah. My god, that boy is hot. Sorry. I think I might be under a spell here."
Dawn: "I hear ya."

Xander: "That, my friends, is the smell of sweet, sweet victory."
Anya: "Also, burning cotton-polyblend."
Buffy: "Xander, be honest. You didn't think about slipping that jacket on just a little bit?"
Xander: "I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit."

Xander: "You fell for a mystical, ancient curse. Who hasn't made that mistake seven or eight times?"

Dawn: "I'm just so... the way I acted, the way I talked to you. I feel so stupid. All over a spell."
Buffy: "Get ready to feel even stupider when it's not."

Anya: "Almost who now?"

Episode Guide: Him

Previous... Next... Quotes: Main... Buffy: Main... Home

- - last updated: 12-8-02 - -