Conversations With Dead People
November 12, 2002
Angie Hart: Night falls. I fall. And where were you?/ And where were you?/ Warm skin, wolf grin,/ And where were you?/ I fell into the moon/ And it covered you in blue./ I fell into the moon./ Can I make it right?/ Can I spend the night?/ High tide inside. The air is dew/ And where were you?/ While I died and where were you?/ I crawled out of the world/ And you said I shouldn't stay./ I crawled out of the world./ Can I make it right?/ Can I spend the night?/ Alone.
Buffy: "Here we go."
Jonathan: "Wish I'd have stayed in Mexico."
Andrew: "I didn't like it there. Everybody spoke Mexicalan."
Andrew: "It eats you starting with your bottom."
Andrew: "We're outlaws with hearts of gold."
Dawn: "Anchovies, anchovies, you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes."
Dawn: "Taste my blade, spawn of evil!"
Willow: "I know you. I mean, I saw your picture."
Cassie: "Yeah, I know. It's kinda weird cause we never really met."
Willow: "Or kinda weird because you're really dead."
Cassie: "Yeah, well..."
Cassie: "She says she still sings."
Holden: "Buffy? Buffy Summers?"
Buffy: "Have we...?"
Holden: "Webs? Holden Webster. We went to school together. European History. I let you crib off my Vaclav Havel essay that time. You really don't remember me?"
Buffy: "Sure. Sure!"
Holden: "Okay, junior year, spring production of Pippin, I did the lighting design."
Buffy: "I didn't see it."
Holden: "But you helped me move the lighting board and I dropped it on your foot."
Holden: "Well, you know, it's not like I was a big part of your life or anything."
Buffy: "No, I just - I didn't recognize you. You know, your face all demon and I think you've filled out a lot."
Buffy: "So what have you been up to?"
Holden: "Well, apparently dying."
Holden: "Took a year off to do an intership at the Sunnydale Mental Hospital."
Buffy: "Wow. That's gotta be a... popluar joint."
Holden: "I keep telling then we ought to get a velvet rope and a bouncer. Hey, you remember Jason Wheeler, you know, Crazy J?"
Buffy: "Oh, yeah."
Holden: "He always had that shtick of 'Yeah, I'm crazy, I'm crazy'."
Buffy: "How is he?"
Holden: "Crazy. He's been in the chronic ward since graduation... Not really funny, I guess."
Buffy: "Ironic, sorta."
Holden: "Oh, so I'm a vampire. How weird is that?"
Holden: "No, no. Feels great. Strong. Like I'm connected to a powerful all-consuming evil that's going to suck the world into a fiery oblivion."
Holden: "So what? You like fight vampires professionally? Or-"
Buffy: "Oh, I don't get paid. It's more like a calling. Since even in school."
Holden: "I heard a lot of rumors about you back then. You were all mysterious."
Buffy: "I was?"
Holden: "Well, you were never around. A lot of kids thought you were dating some really old guy or that you were just heavy religious. Scott Hope said you were gay."
Buffy: "What? I dated that ringworm."
Holden: "He says that about every girl he breaks up with. And then last year, big surprise, he comes out."
Buffy: "Men. Do I know how to pick em."
Holden: "So when you said 'not connected', that was kind of a telling statement, wasn't it?"
Buffy: "Ah, Psych 101 alert."
Holden: "Well, I'm just saying."
Buffy: "Yeah, what I really need is emotional therapy from the evil dead."
Mother's Milk is RED Today
Jonathan: "Get up, you wuss."
Andrew: "I have shin splints. Ow."
Andrew: "We find it. We alert the Slayer. We help her destroy it. We save Sunnydale. Then we join her gang and possibly hang out at her house."
Andrew: "Check communications?"
Jonathan: "Check. Check."
Andrew: "Check. Check."
Andrew: "Check. Check."
Jonathan: "Check. Check."
Andrew: "Check. Check. Check."
Andrew: "There you are. I'm scared out of my frickin gourd here."
Warren: "Calm down, you're doing great. All specs are within parameters."
Andrew: "You keep leaving me. I hate it when you leave me. One time you died and I ended up a Mexican."
Warren: "We've been over this. Now that death thing was all part of the master plan. Come on, 'If you strike me down...'"
Andrew: "'...I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.' Of course. Do you think maybe Willow could kill me, too?"
Andrew: "That boy is our last hope."
Warren: "No, there is another."
Andrew: "Wait, really? Who's our last hope?"
Warren: "No, I was just going with it. It was a thing. He's our last hope."
Cassie: "You killed people. You can't see her. That's just how it is. I'm sorry."
Willow: "You're gone."
Cassie: "But you're not. You're strong like an Amazon, remember?"
Willow: "I do. I remember."
Buffy: "I think there're people out there who would make it. I just target the impossible ones... with deadly accuracy."
Holden: "You think you do that on purpose? Maybe you're trying to protect yourself?"
Buffy: "Protecting myself? From heartbreak, misery, sexual violence and possible death? Not so much."
Holden: "From committing."
Buffy: "I commit. I'm committed. I'm a committee."
Holden: "So it's them? You're reaching out, they're just not coming through?"
Buffy: "It's different. I think you're confusing me because you're evil."
Holden: "I just think you're in some pain here - which I do kind of enjoy because I'm evil now - but you should just ease up on yourself. It's not exactly like you have the patent on bad relationships."
Buffy: "Wouldn't it be cool if I did?"
Buffy: "The word - when you turn a human into a vampire - it's you 'sire' them."
Buffy: "It's a noun, too."
Holden: "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we became nemeses?"
Buffy: "Is that how you say the word?"
Holden: "We're going to have to fight to the death, aren't we?"
Buffy: "It's a time-honored custom."
Holden: "Hey, I don't mean to be Count Buttinsky here but you just don't seem as thrilled. Is it because we're going to fight?"
Buffy: "It's because I'm going to win."
Holden: "Do the words 'superiority complex' mean anything to you?"
Buffy: "You think I'm going to let you go kill a bunch of people? You know I'm sworn to-"
Holden: "No, no. I get the battle against evil. That's not the issue."
Buffy: "There is no issue. Don't issue me."
Buffy: "Okay, you know, this is beyond evil. This is insane troll logic."
Holden: "I was just wondering, is it possible, even a little bit, that the reason you have trouble connecting to guys is because you think maybe they're not worth it? Maybe you think you're better than them."
Buffy: "Say, there's that bloodlust I was looking for."
Holden: "Struck a nerve."
Buffy: "I'm going to strike a nerve cluster in a minute, you don't get off this. I don't remember you being this annoying."
Holden: "You don't remember me at all."
Holden: "Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you."
Holden: "There's nothing wrong with you... Everyone's got issues."
Buffy: "I think I'm going to kill you just a bit more than usual."
Holden: "Aw, come on. I mean, we had a moment. You opened up. It was really sweet. It made me want to bite you."
Andrew: "Everything's shifting around. I feel like we're in Hellraiser. I hate Pinhead."
Holden: "Okay. But are you killing me because I'm evil or because you opened up?"
Buffy: "Agghh! What is wrong with you?"
Buffy: "See this is what I hate about you vampires. Sex and death and love and pain - it's all the same damn thing to you."
Holden: "Well, you know it's kind of a guy thing. We talk about nailing a girl, there's all this-"
Buffy: "Oh, your god what?"
Holden: "Oh, well, you know, not my god because I defy him and all of his works but - does he exist? Is there word on that, by the way?"
Buffy: "Nothing solid."
Willow: "I am the power. It's in me. Did I mention the random destruction of property? The Magic Box is not so much a box now..."
Cassie: "The power is bigger than you are."
Cassie: "You're not going to be okay. You're going to kill everybody."
Andrew: "Dude, we spent the last few years trying to forget about high school Why are you trying so hard to remember it?"
Jonathan: "Time goes by and everything drops away. All the cruelty, all the pain, all that humiliation. It all washes away... I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day. I miss the people who never knew I existed. I miss em all. I want to talk to them, you know. I want to find out how they're doing. I want to know what's going on in their lives."
Andrew: "You know what? They don't want to talk to you - all those people you just mentioned. Not one of them is sitting around going, 'I wonder what Jonathan's up to right now'. Not one of them cares about you."
Jonathan: "Well, I care about them. That's why I'm here."
Buffy: "I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. Because even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything because their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. They're not the Slayer. I am. Sometimes I feel... this is awful. I feel like I'm better than them. Superior."
Holden: "Until you can't win. And I thought I was diabolical. Or at least I plan to be. You do have a superiority complex. And you've got an inferiority complex about it... Kudos."
Buffy: "It doesn't make any sense."
Holden: "Oh, it makes every kind of sense. And it all adds up to you feeling alone. But Buffy, everybody feels alone. Everybody is, until you die."
Cassie: "So go. Be with her. Everybody will be safe and you'll be together again. It's not that bad. Really. It's just like going to sleep."
Willow: "Who are you?"
Joyce: "Things are coming, Dawn. Listen, things are on their way. I love you and I love Buffy but she won't be there for you."
Dawn: "What? Why are you...?"
Joyce: "When it's bad, Buffy won't choose you. She'll be against you."
Cassie: "Suicide thing was too far, huh? Hmm. You seemed so ripe."
Willow: "Tell me who you are."
Cassie: "You don't know hurt. This last year's going to seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good-versus-evil, balancing the scales thing - I'm over it. I'm done with the mortal coil. But believe me, I'm going for a big finish."
Willow: "From beneath you, it devours."
Cassie: "Oh, not it. Me."