Some Assembly Required

Buffy: Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or... yodel.

Angel: I just thought you'd have somebody with you. Xander or someone.
Buffy: Xander.
Angel: Or someone.

Buffy: Is it cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.

Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.
Buffy: Well, I didn't come here to fight. Oh, right, I did. Where's my stake? I-I know I had a stake!
Angel: I didn't see a stake!

Buffy: Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this.

Buffy: Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander: Hmmm, it actually kinds of turns me on.
Buffy: I fear you.

Buffy: Yeah. You just say, 'Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing?'
Giles: Oh, thank you, Cyrano.

Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your buisness.
Xander: Y'know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Giles: Grave robbing? That's new. Interesting.
Buffy: I know you meant to say gross and disturbing.
Giles: Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it.

Chris: You know what the key is? If Dr. Clark doesn't understand your experiment he gives you higher marks so it looks like he understands your experiment. 'The Effects of Sub-Violet Light Spectrum Deprivation on the Development of Fruit Flies'? That should do the trick.

Cordelia: I didn't think yearbook nerds come out of hibernation till spring.

Cordelia: Of course I have learned to deal with my pain.

Cordelia: Hello? Can we deal with my pain, please?
Giles: There, there.

Cordelia: Eww! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word 'corpse' in it?

Xander: So, we're set then. Say nineish? BYO shovel?
Willow: And I'll pack some food. Who else likes those little powdered doughnuts?
Xander: Me.
Willow: Cordelia?
Cordelia: Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you were gonna be digging up dead people sooner. I would've cancelled.
Xander: All right, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us vefore they eat your flesh?
Giles: Xander?
Xander: Huh?
Giels: Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living.
Xander: Yeah, I know that. But did you see the look on her face?

Willow: Love makes you do the wacky.
Buffy: That's the truth.

Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that the men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Willow: By the way, are we hoping to find a body, or no body?
Xander: Call me an optimist, but I'm hoping to find a fortune in gold doubloons.
Giles: Um, body would mean flesh-eating demon, no body would point towards the, uh, army of zombies thing. Take your pick, really. Right then, uh... Go on.
Xander: You're closer.
Buffy: Pathetic much? Move over.

Cordelia: Buffy? Well, she, uh... big shock, she's at the graveyard.
Angel: She said she'd be home.
Cordelia: Well, she lied. Isn't she a rascal? Well, you're in luck. It just so happens that my night is free.

Xander: So, both coffins are empty. That makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies.
Willow: Is it an army if you just have three?
Buffy: Zombie drill team then.

Cordelia: It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
Xander: Karma!

Buffy: I don't get it. Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn't make any sense. Especially from a time management standpoint.

Xander: So, Will, come clean. Promise to never do it again, and we'll call it a night. He joked!

Xander: You have to go? Aw, too bad. Keep in touch. Buh-bye.

Buffy: I don't get it. Why would anybody wanna make a girl?
Xander: You mean when there's so many pre-made ones just laying around? The things we do for love.
Buffy: Love has nothing to do with this.
Xander: Maybe not, but I'll tell you this: people don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream. What they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.

Jenny: Oh, no, please call me Jenny. Ms. Calendar's my father.

Xander: Hello! I wanna get ahead.

Xander: For the love of God, can somebody scratch my nose?

Willow: Buffy? Don't be too hard on Chris. I mean, he's not a vampire.
Buffy: No. He's just a ghoul.

Cordelia: Please? Just take off the blindfold! I promise I won't scream! I promise!
Daryl: Cordelia?
Cordelia: *screams*
Eric: You can scream all you want. We're in an abandoned building. Okay, that's enough.

Daryl: And when you're finished you won't go out. You won't run away. But we can hide together.

Xander: You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music's stopped and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?
Willow: All the time.
Cordelia: Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to...
Xander: Do you mind? We're talking here. So where were we?
Willow: Wondering why we never get dates.
Xander: Yeah, so why do you think that is?

Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky.
Angel: What?
Buffy: Crazy stuff.

Angel: It'll be morning soon.
Buffy: I should probably go. I could walk you home.

Episode Guide: Some Assembly Required

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- - last updated: 2-24-02 - -