Angel: Spike... Spike, wait. That's not a prize you're holding. It's not a trophy. It's a burden. It's a cr-"
Spike: Blah, blah, blah. Give it a rest, hero. I win, you lose, and all your talking's not gonna change that."
Angel: It's not your destiny. It's mine.
Spike: Still can't accept it? It's pathetic, really. All your life's been a lie. Everything you've done - the lives you've saved, dreams of redemption - all that pain... all of it for nothing. Cause this... was never about you. Cheers.
Doyle/Lindsey: Look like somebody who's feeling kinda lost.
Spike: Is that right? Funny, thought I knew exactly where I was.
Doyle/Lindsey: You know... we really should talk.
Spike: You know? Really not.
Doyle/Lindsey: Hey, Spike... get any interesting mail lately?
Spike: Who the bloody hell are you?
Doyle/Lindsey: Your new best friend.
Spike: You?! You say you're responsible for me being back? You sent that package with the de-ghosting mojo.
Spike: The amulet. You mailed that thing to Wolfram & Hart.
Doyle/Lindsey: Hey, couldn't leave your spirit trapped in a bauble at the bottom of a hellmouth, could we?
Spike: And who's 'we'?
Doyle/Lindsey: Come on, Spike. You must know there's a lot of folks out there that are interested in you. Powerfully interested, one might say-
Spike: Enough with the cryptic, butch. I want to know who... or what you are... what you want, and how fast I can snap your forearm before you answer.
Doyle/Lindsey: You can call me Doyle. But it's not what I want... it's what you want. You got your life back now. What are you gonna do about it?
Wes: What is your plan?
Gunn: We open a can of Machiavelli on his ass.
Harmony: It's Matchabelli, Einstein, and it doesn't come in a can.
Angel: Guys! C.E.O., right here, in the dark.
Angel: Uh-huh... So are we doing this because it's right... or because it's cost-effective?
Gunn: Uh, well, a little of both actually.
Wes: Yes, oddly, once again we find ourselves in a bit of a gray-
Angel: ...say that! Can we just get through one damn day without saying that?
Spike: You talk a lot for somebody saying nothing.
Doyle/Lindsey: Look, I'm just a guy. I'm nobody. A drifter. I was minding my own business, and then one day - Wham! I start having these visions.
Doyle/Lindsey: Yeah, like brain pictures, but they hurt. Like when you eat ice cream too fast. You start seeing people in trouble... who need a champion.
Spike: Hey, you are barking up the wrong vampire. That's Angel's beat.
Doyle/Lindsey: Angel's not in the picture anymore. All right? He's working on the other side of the tracks. Nobody is out there helping the people that really need help.
Vampire: Get lost!
Spike: Already am, according to some.
Girl: Thank you! Thank you! That thing was gonna kill me!
Spike: Well, what do you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood? I got half a mind to kill you myself, you half-wit.
Spike: I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley? Take two steps, break your bloody ankle.
Girl: I was just trying to get home.
Spike: Can't throw a bloody stone in this town without hitting some bimbo in trouble.
Doyle/Lindsey: You did good. From what I hear Angel didn't save the girl on his first mision.
Spike: What's Angel got to do with this?
Doyle/Lindsey: Well... nothin. Not anymore.
Fred: So, yeah, in theory, we could. That is, if we did that sort of thing... Do we do that sort of thing?
Angel: Let's just get back to the basics: Good versus evil. Offing the monsters where we find them.
Angel: I-I think I'm sick.
Wes: Vampires don't get sick.
Angel: I don't feel right.
Wes: Well, that's understandable. You've got a lot on your mind. Must be hard adjusting to the new situation.
Wes: Finally coming to grips with the truth... that you're irrelevant.
Wes: It's difficult to face, I know. But things could've been much worse. Spike's arrival's actually quite fortuitous. It'll make this a lot easier.
Man: What were those things?
Spike: You're better off not knowing, believe me.
Woman: Wait. Who are you?
Spike: I'm the hero.
Angel: Fred. I think something's wrong.
Fred: Okay. Okay, don't worry. I know what to do... Let's take a look under the hood.
Fred: There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Okay. Let's get these out of the way.
Angel: Please, stop.
Fred: There's your liver... Oh, there's your kidneys... Oh, don't worry. You're a vampire. You don't need this stuff anyway. Probably should've had it removed a long time ago... Oop... Ah!... There's your heart... Hey! What do you know? It is a dried-up little walnut... So far so good. Let's see... Oop... Raisins... Unh!... Hmm. Came up the gulf stream, huh?... Oh... Hang on. Oh... There's your soul!... Ooh. We're gonna have to flush this. Unh... Thank you, bear. Huh!
Angel: What's wrong?
Fred: Nothing. I can't seem to find anything wrong with you. I mean... except that you're empty. There's nothing left. Just a shell... I think I can hear the ocean in there.
Gunn: Been getting reports of a vigilante prowling the streets last night. A vampire, apparently.
Wes: Angel never left his penthouse... 'Vigilante reportedly killed two vampires at a gas station, then asked the women he saved if they'd, quote, like to get a bottle of hootch and listen to some Sex Pistols records with him'.
Fred: Are we sure Angel's just tired and not, um... crazy?
Gunn: Read the description.
Wes: 'Medium build, black leather coat... plantinum blond hair'.
Spike: What, no cable?
Doyle/Lindsey: I'm offering you a place to hang your hat. Or... your coat. Could say thank you.
Spike: Great. Another ruddy basement.
Doyle/Lindsey: You want creature comforts? You can go to Wolfram & Hart. This place has everything you need to be a hero. The job requires somewhat of a... Spartan existence.
Spike: You call that a bed?
Doyle/Lindsey: Well, it's not like you're gonna be sharing it with anyone any time soon.
Spike: Keep it down, mate. You've got something on your shirt there.
Spike: Won't be long now.
Angel: You're taking Buffy to the prom?
Fred: Um... you should put on a clean shirt, though.
Lorne: Hey... down in front!
Harmony: Yeah, Angel. You're blocking the apocalypse.
Angel: I have to do something. I have to get out there!
Wes: Don't worry. Spike'll take care of it.
Gunn: You should go back to bed.
Lorne: Or at least go put some clean clothes on. You got a little something on your shirt there, babe.
Spike: Well, this is, uh... Thank you, everyohne. Um... I don't know what to say... I'm just a... working class bloke fulfilling his destiny. It was nothing, really.
Fred: Nothing? Spike, you single-handedly ended Armageddon and turned the world into a beautiful, happily-ever-after, candy mountain place where all our dreams come true.
Spike: Beautiful, isn't it?
Gunn: The living end. And now... it's time for your reward.
Wes: Yes... Your reward!
Spike: But I didn't do this for a reward.
Gunn: Well, that's why you're getting one.
Wes: After all, anyone who saves the universe from eternal bloodshed, horror and misery deserves to get what they've always wanted.
Fred: Deserves to become a real boy.
Fairy: And so you shall.
Spike: My heart. It's... it's beating again! Listen!
Fred: You're human, Spike! You're alive!
Gunn: Ooh! I wanna hear!
Wes: Let's hear it for Spike!
Spike: Man gets right to the meat of the existential nut, doesn't he?
Gunn: What's your angle? Last time we saw you, you were booking a one-way to the continent.
Spike: Change of plans. Change of heart. Changed me mind, mates.
Wes: If you want to save the world, we've got the resources to help you do it.
Spike: No offense, Mr. Vader, but I've got no itch to join the evil empire.
Gunn: It's different. You know it. We've changed things.
Spike: Look... I told Angel, and I'll tell you. A place like that doesn't change... not from the inside. Not from the out. You sign on there, it changes you. Puts things in your head. Spins your compass needle around till you can't cross the street without tripping the proverbial old lady and stepping on her glasses. And it's not like I wasn't there, gents, like I wasn't watching you. Had to haunt the damn place. Remember?
Gunn: Things aren't that cut-and-dried, Spike. We're making a difference. We're just... playing by a new set of rules.
Spike: So what? You want me to... put on a suit, come play with you?
Wes: Something like that.
Spike: I can't believe Angel would sign off on that. Unless... he doesn't know you're here, does he? Hedging our bets, are we, boys?
Gunn: That's not how it is.
Spike: And the compass needle keeps spinning. And the world gets murkier and murkier.
Wes: Apparently we're not good enough for him.
Gunn: Thinks we sold out.
Fred: We didn't sell out. We're changing the system from the inside.
Gunn: You know, when you say it out loud, it sounds really naive.
Lorne: Oh, round these parts, folks call me Honky-Tonk.
Angel: I think... I think I'm lost.
Lorne: Order a drink!
Angel: Everything hurts.
Lorne: Now you're getting it. Everything hurts, and then we die. Or in your case, everything hurts and... then you go on... and on... and on... and on.
Angel: I don't know what to do.
Fred: I told you he was empty.
Wes: Yes, but this is ridiculous! We paid good money for this. We paid blood for this.
Lorne: Crowd's turning on ya, sport.
Lorne: You still got that thing on your shirt?
Eve: Wow. You killed junior.
Eve: I'm not here, Angel. You're dreaming. But don't worry. The dream's almost over.
Doyle/Lindsey: You this prickly with all your friends?
Spike: I'm soft on the inside.
Fred: This is really nice.
Wes: You can stay as long as you like. Stay forever.
Angel: No... there's so much work to do.
Gunn: It's fine. We got it covered.
Angel: But I'm not supposed to be here.
Lorne: No fighting, Angel heart. Time to let freedom ring. Let yourself go.
Angel: But I'm not finished.
Wes: You are if you want to be.
Fred: It'll be fine. Great, actually. All you have to do is stop caring.
Spike: That'll be a bitch of a clean up.
Spike: No need to thank me. Just helping the helpless.
Angel: It seemed... real. All of it. You were dissecting me, taking things out of me, and there was this... bear. You called yourself Honky-Tonk, tried to get me to sing, but... You were big with the hecking.
Gunn: Uh... sorry?
Wes: Maybe you were confusing reality with your hallucinations?
Eve: So things aren't going your way, and you're looking for someone outside your little circle to blame. Here's a thought. Maybe you should try looking inward... unless you don't like what you see.